First, try to understand what’s actually being said here. Sometimes I call myself fat because I’m above my target weight. But in my case my self-esteem is just fine: I’m a former gym rat who knows where I am, what I need to do to get back in shape, and that I’m still okay if I don’t get there. Saying “I’m fat” is a light jab at myself and a reminder to take steps toward my goals, nothing to worry about.
If your GF is calling herself fat more hurtfully (which is sadly common) the issue is not how fat she is or isn’t. That’s just a symptom. The issue is whatever negative feeling is prompting her to tear herself down. Arguing with her about whether she’s actually fat won’t help with that, and might even do more harm than good. Maybe ask her how she’s doing, remind her that you love her just the way she is.
“I want you to be happy with your body, if you need me to reassure you about how attractive you are I can, or if you want me to support you with changing your weight I can. I love you and your body”
At least that’s basically where I go as a woman with a healthy weight but body image issues for not being underweight and a wife who gained a lot of weight over the pandemic and a girlfriend who is in the “needs to lose weight for her health” range.
“no, you’re thicc”… then explain to her it’s the most popular body type by today’s beauty standards… which fluctuates and health and happiness are all that matters… and youd love her if she was a brain in a jar, but she happens to be really hot… something like that
also, get an Australian Cattle Dog… that’ll force ya’ll to be more active…
asklemmy
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