Having kids of our own did change this for us some, but when Mom/Dad/MIL/FIL asks you to do something you’ll still do it. There’s also nothing like goofing around with people you grew up goofing around with.
What 'ruined' Christmas this year was having to go home and spend it with my parents, one of whom is bedridden and non responsive from Alzheimers. It's more akin to a wake where everyone is focused on someone who is dead and there's little joy to be had. I've been doing it now for 5 years and there's no sign that it will end soon.
It is incredibly stressful and morose. Christmas isn't really joyful anymore because Mom could die at any time. The worst part of it is that all of us recognize that she's suffering and so are we, but the government won't allow any other outcome.
Still, the family shows up and puts in the work for caring for her for many reasons, the least of which is that she raised us for almost 20 years. She was a wonderful person and she's owed that, bottom line. It is uplifting in a way because we come together and work together for a purpose and while it's hard and sad, we've bonded over it nonetheless.
But.. what kind of Christmas will we have once she's gone?
Christmas isn’t really joyful anymore because Mom could die at any time. The worst part of it is that all of us recognize that she’s suffering and so are we, but the government won’t allow any other outcome.
I feel “lucky” because it only took my dad two years to die from serious symptoms starting to the end, but that’s two years too long. He was a university professor and he ended up doing 50-piece jigsaw puzzles. We should allow people to end their life with dignity.
Raviolis were worth it when I was making a huge huge amount and then freezing bags of them. Then over the course of months could just eat them whenever! For a single meal? No, terrible
Gotta disagree on the pierogi front. I don't make them often, but homemade is so much better than the boxed stuff that occasionally making a huge batch and freezing a bunch is totally worth it.
I 100% endorse this comment and am glad to see someone here representing. Anyone who says store bought pirogi’s are almost as good has not had good homemade ones. They are next level.
I don’t think anyone thinks store bought pierogi are as good as homemade, just that they’re so labor intensive that the store bought still have their place, being not as good, but still good…and the increase in quality to do homemade is real…but not worth the fuss to make one meal of them.
It’s absolutely one of those “get the family together once a year and make zillions of them as a social event” type things.
My dad used to get together with a few buddies to make homemade sauerkraut each year and he often said that for the production, for a single meal, just buy it from the store…but as an excuse to hang out with old friends, catch up, tell off color jokes, and drink cheap beer for a few hours each year, it was totally worth it to make homemade.
For my age (late twenties) I wouldn’t say they are great achievements, but as a person which struggles a little bit in social settings I still feel proud.
I went to therapy for the first time to learn more about my social anxiety.
Actually told my feelings to a close friend, which again was a first, I got rejected, but at least I did it.
Started going to the gym, progress is slow, but I feel motivated.
Travelled with a couple of friends outside my country.
When things are in motion it gets easier, other than that for me it is constantly trying to get out of my comfort zone.
“Actually told my feelings to a close friend, which again was a first, I got rejected, but at least I did it.”
I gotta tell you: nothing more liberating than this. I’ve discovered I feel regret when not doing this kind of things. If I don’t make my move, then they get a partner, I’m haunted by the question “could that guy have been me?” But if I say something, get rejected, then they get a partner, I actually feel happy for her, for she got someone she likes, just like I want someone I like.
The important thing is to let things go after getting a no. It is your duty to do the best you can for the friendship to continue as usual. Got rejected? No big deal. Let’s move on. Cookout my place, everyone invited. Passive aggressive comments, making guilt-tripping faces or gestures, texting looong messages, or asking “why, why, think about it, give me a chance, what do they have that I don’t” etc, no. Don’t do that!! Plenty of fish out there.
Having come out of a relationship in my late 20s, I am sorely missing this. It’s been ages since I had a crush. Everyone I know is in relationships already, I can’t even find someone to reject me…
(On Delta planes at least) The aisle armrest comes up if you press a little trigger underneath near where is meets the seat. Makes it easier to get up if you’re in the aisle seat and to exit the plane.
If you are always hot, get a windows seat. When you’re at altitude, the side of the plane gets cold, so the window seat tends to be cooler.
If you are on the tall side, once the fight attendant isn’t looking anymore, put your backpack or laptop bag behind your legs / knees instead of under the seat. Then you have full legroom available to stretch out.
If the person in front of you reclines their seat back, ask the fight attendant for a pillow and a can of soda. Remove the pillow case, and put the full soda can in it. Then batter up, and bash that fucker right in the face. Just kidding. Don’t do this. Just calm down.
Having flown many times, I can confirm that the aisle armrest triggers exist on most major airlines. Any time I sit down on a flight, the first thing I do is look for that button.
The reason it’s hard to find is because they should be down most of the time. In sudden turbulence, even if you’re wearing a seatbelt, they keep you from spilling out into the aisle.
Also be aware that people walking by, the food cart, etc. can cause it to suddenly slap back down.
I use Voyager. It gets updates fast but it looks like an iOS app. I rarely encounter any bugs here. Voyager also has mark read on scroll and disabling infinite scrolling (add a Load page 2 button) Sync is also good, it deals great with vertically long images and is a native app.
Sync has been really weird for the past few weeks, I stopped using it until there’s an update (which hasn’t happened before since several years ago when I started using it as a reddit app).
I’m currently on Boost, and it’s at least usable, though not super great, but good enough for now.
Now, there are some examples where I won’t/can’t actively seek out their work, and would never contribute to them by buying anything at all, ever.
Cosby falls into that category, just as an example.
But, I have a complete separation as far as the work itself being valid/good despite the origins. Using Cosby as the example again, if I’m somewhere and one of his performances is on, I’m not going to care enough to change a channel or leave, or even say anything.
That’s pretty much anyone and everyone. I just don’t have that thing where a given item, piece of work, whatever, is “tainted” just because the person that made it is a piece of shit. I don’t form an association like that. It’s that I choose to not seek out some things as a matter of principle.
But, as a general rule, if they’re dead, I don’t care at all. And, if the person in question is only one person involved in a group effort, that group effort is fine by me. Like, if the guitarist of a band is a piece of shit, but everyone else is not, why would their work be a bad thing?
Now, this isn’t to say that I ignore any bad acts when interacting with a given work. Take van Gogh as an example. His excesses and disturbing behaviors are part of his work to an extent. It’s a thing where knowing the person’s flaws informs the interaction with the work. Kinda like “gee, I wonder how much of this work stems from the same root as the bad acts did?”
But, I can enjoy the work of people I personally despise with no issues. I just don’t have whatever it is that other people have that makes a thing tainted based on the creator.
Part of that is knowing how shitty humans in general are, and how hard it is to find any artist that didn’t/doesn’t have massive flaws. In music and painting in particular, you run into a shit ton of artists that were abysmal people. If I did have that whatever it is that causes a connection between the art and the artist’s flaws, I wouldn’t be able to listen to much music at all.
Sometimes, people just get better. Your mood affects your heart rate, your blood sugar, your mobility even. Thinking you are getting better helps you get better. This isn’t controversial, the placebo effect has long been understood and accounted for in experimental design.
What I don’t understand then is why we don’t try to take advantage of this effect more often. If I have a small chance of making people feel better with a sugar pill, why not give out sugar pills and claim they have miracle effects all the time?
We do, I remember my friends mom had pills labeled placebo, and she said they where making her feel better, me and my friend looked at eachother and said nothing in front of her mom. When we where alone together we laughed a little and agreed that we shouldn’t say anything since her mom was doing better.
Because we’ve decided it’s nonethical for healthcare professionals. Any doctor knowingly prescribing placebo and lying about it could get in some major trouble. Like a couple decades ago I heard a psychiatrist mourn the loss of disulfiram (antabuse) implants from their treatment arsenal; it worked very well as a placebo but research didn’t show a clear improvement over placebo, so they could no longer use it.
I am kind of glad that non-license-needing wellness consultants can still use the placebo effect for good, even if it is sometimes predatory and sometimes outright dangerous.
I’m skeptical that it will scale – it costs to host video – but it’s there. You can host something on any PeerTube host willing to serve your content and link to it from the Threadiverse, same as you could on YouTube.
For the scaling, isn’t that mostly for those high availability / high demand content creators?
I mean, for me, Lemmy is a place where you interact, create, discuss. Not a platform where a select few have millions of “followers”?
So I think that bandwidth cost can be not that high for “enthusiast” servers.
Also, say you post a crazy viral video on my poor server, well people could(I know it doesn’t work that way automatically today) re-post it elsewhere because they like it and see that it’s just not available on my lil server because the hug of death.
Maybe information wants to be free, and if we share things on the internet, we shouldn’t think we had a right to control it any more. I mean is there a law against to create something being inspired by something else?
A bit like when you say something interesting to someone, and they repeat it to their friends, and they do the same and so on.
Sorry about the rant, it’s just a rant, not anything against you!, thanks for the information you provide.
I’ll try hosting video on my ~700Mb up line (IIRC) to see how it works if I get the howtos.
If you set that to some insane number, I imagine that people can upload large stuff, and as I note below, at least webm files seem to be doable right now on lemmy.world (just that the lemmy.world size cap is going to keep someone from uploading anything of meaningful size). I’d imagine that if you lift that cap to whatever you want – if you want full-length movies, then probably a couple of gigabytes – the users of your instance should be able to upload. They’d click on “image” rather than “movie”, but…shrugs
The Lemmy Web UI isn’t really designed for huge uploads, doesn’t show a progress bar, so it’s probably not going to provide the best user experience, but I’d expect that it’ll work.
If you don’t want to run a lemmy instance, but do want to permit people to just anonymously upload files that they can link to on other lemmy instances, then while I don’t have a particular example ready to hand, I’m sure that there are no shortage of web-based “dropbox” systems that let one upload and then serve files. Just have people reference the file’s URL the way they would anything else.
If you want to run a PeerTube instance, which is aimed at fediverse video sharing, then I’d look at their docs. I’ve never set one up, but I’m sure that they have some kind of documentation.
I would like to add that we are talking primarily about the ability to insert a direct link with a video located on a third-party service. To do this, you need to display previews/thumbnails, which are not available now.
I may be wrong, but I don’t think it will require a lot of additional resources.
Neckbeards, because I fit some of the stereotypes.
I’m interested in roleplaying and videogames, so people assume I’m one of those gatekeeping basement dwellers that mock “girl gamers” and play WoW and weird hentai games 23 hours a day. Honestly, I couldn’t care less about what other players have in their pants or which games they like as long as everyone is having fun.
I own two swords, so people assume I’m one of those “leave the multibillion dollar company alone” fedora-wearing m’lady incels who pose with their katanas for sh*tty profile pics and think they look like ninjas or something. The thing is, me and two buddies did show fights for medieval faires for a couple of years, so the weapons aren’t just decoration / dumb tokens to make myself feel cool. Granted, the “fights” were more or less scripted, but it still had to look convincing enough to entertain the masses.
It’s especially annoying when actual neckbeards think I’m “one of them” and are then surprised that I don’t share any of their cringey, prejudice-laden, condescending world views.
I was on a high school trip to Poland in the 90’s. It was an eight day trip through the country, including a couple of days of kayaking. Our school was definitely on a tight budget to make this trip work, so we spend our nights in a bunch of cheap hotels and camping grounds.
One luxury that we were always missing out on was decent toilet paper. The only toilet paper supplied was this single ply stuff with the same texture as sanding paper. So when we were out for an evening in Warsaw I visited a five star hotel to enjoy some quality bathroom time. This was several days in and I really wanted to enjoy using a toilet in a heated and clean environment. And it was so nice! No smells, no cold drafts and the toilet paper! So soft! I was in heaven :)
As luck would have it, the bathroom stall had a whole stack of these magically soft toilet rolls. On an impulse I stuffed all of them (around six if I remember correctly) under my coat and smuggled them out of the hotel. Back at the camp I shared them with the rest of my classmates, bringing back a little bit of luxury in our dreary little place. Never been that popular in my life :)
I lost my dad to cancer about two week before last Christmas. And my birthday is a few days after Christmas as well. I'll be damned if I ever feel like celebrating Christmas or my birthday ever again
I lost my sister suddenly 2 days before Christmas in 2008. The joy came back — after a fair amount of therapy and contemplation — and over time, life grew around the gaping hole.
A couple of quotes that I keep near me:
Yet, in a bizarre, backwards way, death is the light by which the shadow of all of life’s meaning is measured. Without death, everything would feel inconsequential, all experience arbitrary, all metrics and values suddenly zero.
Mark Manson
When you dull pain and hide it from yourself, you dull your joys as well.
Robin Hobb, Fool’s Fate (Tawny Man #3)
All the best for this holiday season, and all the ones that follow.
Gotta have opposites, light and dark and dark and light, in painting. It’s like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come. I’m waiting on the good times now.
asklemmy
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