Inucune,

If you cut the ground prong off and flip the plug upside down, it runs backwards.

cheese_greater,

Skillz that killz ☠️

eran_morad,

“do what you love”

Mrkawfee, (edited )

It’s so simple. Why didn’t I think of that before!

/S

ConstantPain,

The moment you depend on it to not live on the streets, then you don’t love it anymore.

Iamdanno,

Do what you love for a job and you’ll turn what you want to do into what you have to do.

Lifecoach5000,

Snorting nose drugs are good for your sinuses

cheese_greater,

Luv me some nose clams

KingJalopy, (edited )
@KingJalopy@lemm.ee avatar

Actually I’ve had a bad case of covid for like 4 days now and haven’t been able to breathe out of my nose. While not technically nose drugs, I took one of my wife’s Adderall and like magic I’m breathing through my nose again. Still feel terrible and can’t sleep now but I’m no longer a mouth breather. I couldn’t sleep last night because my mouth would dry out every 5 minutes so bad I’d have to take a drink of water every few minutes then pee.

cheese_greater,

Amphetamine used to be used exactly for this, its why Sudafed or gtfo when it comes to blocked nose

Bishma,
@Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

“Your ____ hurts? Stub your toe then you won’t notice it as much.”

cheese_greater,

This has the same cadence as my appleseeds one 🙃

MIDItheKID,

YOLO

It’s like a mantra for bad decision making. But it should really be used the opposite way. Like… I better put my seat belt on because YOLO.

HeavyRaptor, (edited )

Your comment reminded me of this youtu.be/z5Otla5157c

TechyDad,
@TechyDad@lemmy.world avatar

My company switched up retirement plans and they held a seminar to explain them. The person running the seminar said that we should be putting 15% of our salaries into retirement.

Nice idea, but if I put 15% of my salary into retirement, then I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills. I’m not living extravagantly or anything (buying something for $20 for my enjoyment seems like a splurge to me). Still, whenever I seem to be getting on a better financial footing, life throws me a curve ball. Need new hearing aids ($3,600). New a new dryer ($750). Might need a new car soon.

So either I need to be paid a lot more, I will be working until I’m 90, or I put away the money and go deep into debt but can retire. (Just kidding. I’m nearing 50. I likely won’t have enough to retire. Maybe when I’m 80.)

Tikiporch,

Better start working our way to a cushy desk job so we have somewhere comfortable to die.

paddirn, (edited )

“Undercover Cops have to tell you if they’re a cop,” or other variations I remember hearing all throughout high school.

Somehow though, organized crime hasn’t figured out this one simple trick to ferreting out undercover cops in their midst, just ask them.

Also: “Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.”

cheese_greater,

Its the Criminal Bro Code

Caboose12000,

that second one seems way outta left field to me, what kinda contexts is that used in?

paddirn,

It was from an episode of South Park:

youtu.be/ZTuzDt-dGxA?si=QO4zlPuue0QHp3c0

surewhynotlem,

Vaginas

Dagwood222,

A one word answer that covers so many questions.

KingJalopy,
@KingJalopy@lemm.ee avatar

Like, “I don’t get it.”

Guest_User,

Hahaha burn

KingJalopy,
@KingJalopy@lemm.ee avatar

Not if you wrap it before you tap it

moosetwin,
@moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

you can’t go wrong if you shield your dong

shinigamiookamiryuu,

“Snitches get stitches.”

How do you expect conflict resolution to work?

Fiivemacs,

With stitches…

DoctorWhookah,

Or end up in ditches.

NoneYa,

“Be careful!” Oh thanks for the reminder because I wasn’t planning on being careful 👍

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

I honestly don’t think little kids understand what people mean when they say “be careful”. When my kids were younger, I’d say something like “be careful the sidewalk is icy!” and they’d just run full speed and slip on the ice.

I think kids just think “be careful” is just something nice you say like “good luck”.

NoneYa,

Yours was definitely informative and I think partly because of your intentions but also because of the statement after about the danger that was there that they may not have been aware of.

The ones I’m referring to are the typical greetings where it’s just “be careful” or “drive safe”.

I know the intention is meant well but always still struck me as an odd way to greet someone.

just_change_it,

Hard work always pays off.

cheese_greater,

smart work always pays off

;) ftfy

GlitterInfection,

Being born wealthy always pays off.

Iamdanno,

Not always. Sometimes you just end up as a waste of oxygen in jail.

Weirdfish,

I knew there was something I forgot to do

Kolanaki, (edited )
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Burn your garbage. Burning garbage makes smoke that goes up into the sky and becomes stars.

cheese_greater, (edited )

I wanna say its wrong but I don’t know enough about star formation to dispute it?!

Rhynoplaz,

Really, EVERYTHING originated from star dust, so you’re just returning it to the source!

Guest_User,

Well not everything. I don’t think stars produce neutrons

Fluffy_Ruffs,

Smoking cigarettes will suffocate the toxins in the apple skins sitting in your stomach.

hellothere, (edited )

“If you were just more positive you’d not be complaining about being depressed all the time”.

And/or

“Have you tried just being happy for once?”

frogfruit,

Aka fake it til you make it

ArmoredThirteen,

Putting in my unasked for opinion that we should popularize ‘flail it til you nail it’

Rhynoplaz,

I don’t know, this one has pretty much carried me through the last 40 years. There’s definitely worse advice.

Riven,
@Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Yea same here but in a different way than what people usually mean. Don’t fake being rich until you are. I was and to a certain extent still am socially anxious and bad at talking to people and holding conversations. I started faking being more socially adept than I actually was by copying people I knew who were extroverts and by observing peoples interactions in the wild. Eventually I did get better with both and have no issue with either, although I do need some time to recharge later on after social interactions.

nikosey, (edited )

if you ask a police officer for a piece of candy then legally they have to give you one

cheese_greater,

Fax

LinkOpensChest_wav,

“You’ve got to love him – he’s your brother, after all.”

Yeah, he’s my brother who would get angry and destroy all my things when we were young, my brother who sexually abused my youngest sibling, my brother who launched into a homophobic rant against my mom during a time when she had cancer, a brother who cheated on and verbally and physically abused his first wife, a brother who probably drove my nephew to suicide.

No, fuck him. I don’t love him, and I never will.

Bakachu,

Yeah I’d say that’s got to be triggering to hear. How do you respond to “advice” like that normally? Assuming it’s from someone who actually knows your brother.

LinkOpensChest_wav,

I never have any response that’s likely to be edifying or helpful, so I typically respond with, “Well, I don’t,” and try to disengage. That’s usually enough.

bizzle,
@bizzle@lemmy.world avatar

If you take a level of rogue you can disengage as a bonus action

Bakachu,

Sounds like a good strategy. Less is more.

LinkOpensChest_wav,

Some conversations are just not worth having, and I need to pick my battles

WashedOver,
@WashedOver@lemmy.ca avatar

Don’t try to bullshit me, I’m a bullshit artist.

KingJalopy,
@KingJalopy@lemm.ee avatar

If I ever told my dad, “are you shitting me?”, he’d reply with, “I’d never shit you, you’re my favorite turd.”

WashedOver,
@WashedOver@lemmy.ca avatar

Lol love that one. My uncle was the one that used the Bullshit line on me

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • asklemmy@lemmy.world
  • localhost
  • All magazines
  • Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #