shinigamiookamiryuu,

“Snitches get stitches.”

How do you expect conflict resolution to work?

Fiivemacs,

With stitches…

DoctorWhookah,

Or end up in ditches.

just_change_it,

Hard work always pays off.

cheese_greater,

smart work always pays off

;) ftfy

GlitterInfection,

Being born wealthy always pays off.

Iamdanno,

Not always. Sometimes you just end up as a waste of oxygen in jail.

Weirdfish,

I knew there was something I forgot to do

nikosey, (edited )

if you ask a police officer for a piece of candy then legally they have to give you one

cheese_greater,

Fax

TechyDad,
@TechyDad@lemmy.world avatar

My company switched up retirement plans and they held a seminar to explain them. The person running the seminar said that we should be putting 15% of our salaries into retirement.

Nice idea, but if I put 15% of my salary into retirement, then I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills. I’m not living extravagantly or anything (buying something for $20 for my enjoyment seems like a splurge to me). Still, whenever I seem to be getting on a better financial footing, life throws me a curve ball. Need new hearing aids ($3,600). New a new dryer ($750). Might need a new car soon.

So either I need to be paid a lot more, I will be working until I’m 90, or I put away the money and go deep into debt but can retire. (Just kidding. I’m nearing 50. I likely won’t have enough to retire. Maybe when I’m 80.)

Tikiporch,

Better start working our way to a cushy desk job so we have somewhere comfortable to die.

moosetwin,
@moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I think a lot of people here misread ‘favorite’ as ‘least favorite’

MIDItheKID,

YOLO

It’s like a mantra for bad decision making. But it should really be used the opposite way. Like… I better put my seat belt on because YOLO.

HeavyRaptor, (edited )

Your comment reminded me of this youtu.be/z5Otla5157c

captain_aggravated,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

“Count your blessings.”

Useless fucking platitude that’s synonymous with “You aren’t the person who is absolutely the worst off, so being upset with your lot is inappropriate.”

See also “At least you have your health.”

SheerDumbLuck,

The Toronto horse cops carried around trading cards for their horses as a part of a PR campaign. Ask a cop for one!

Just another way for you to be disappointed by the police. Can’t even do PR right.

Inucune,

If you cut the ground prong off and flip the plug upside down, it runs backwards.

cheese_greater,

Skillz that killz ☠️

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