comicstrips

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MadBob, in Apples for sale

I suppose he was already grumpy because he was the only one who’d forgot about Dress Like Homer Simpson Or Peter Griffin Day at the orchard.

Matriks404, in I can cook at least

I still don’t know where do I find these hot MILF’s in my area.

DragonTypeWyvern,

Try a PTA meeting

jol,

You need a kid for that. Just go to the kindergarten and pretend one of the kids is yours.

rayyy,

A local c-hound told me a church will do nicely

RagingRobot,

They are at home with their partners

niktemadur, in The cool thing is the rapid mutation of surrounding plants and bacteria, meaning Dad is still changing lives after he's gone.

An ideal last prank for all you Andy Kaufman-types out there.

Anticorp, in The cool thing is the rapid mutation of surrounding plants and bacteria, meaning Dad is still changing lives after he's gone.

Or pay the graveyard to spray Roundup around your grave. That’s probably the easier of the two.

Setarkus, (edited ) in Banned books

I’m assuming that getting books banned from libraries requires them to be there in the first place (in most cases at least), so any arguments using examples age rating issues should rather focus on why those books got into a school library in the first place.
Surely the ones responsible don’t just blindly choose some books to fill the library without at least making sure they’re not as wildly inappropriate as some people like to say.

cerement, in I can cook at least
@cerement@slrpnk.net avatar

joke going around about silicon valley during height of dot com, something like 1:10 female to male ratio – “The odds are good but the goods are odd.”

chicken,

I went to an engineering college and apparently that saying has been around for quite a while

engityra,

I also heard that one floating around the engineering school I attended.

Waraugh,

I heard it while building the pyramids

seth,

the good old days

lurch, in "Millennial lingo" by Shen Comic

He should have mentioned the other room looks like the “this is fine” meme. Rookie mistake smh

agent_flounder,
@agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

Young zoomers communicate in memes. Tamarian, but with pictures.

SwampYankee,

Drake, his brow furrowed, his palm exposed.

prayer,

Cat, his expression neutral, eating salad.

crystalmerchant, in No escape

What about the foot puller thingy

ArbitraryValue, in I can cook at least

For some reason I get ads promising ugly women. Does that mean I’m hot?

Bgugi,

I get the same ads, so I can guarantee you it does not.

kameecoding, in No escape

Lots of places now have automatic doors with frosted glass

dantheclamman, in No escape
@dantheclamman@lemmy.world avatar

I grab it with the edge of my shirt. While it’s not ideal, my shirt will be washed later and it spares me having to deal with risk of fecal particles on my hands where they can immediately reach my face.

Winged_Hussar, in "Raccoon-Free Christmas" by The Jenkins
@Winged_Hussar@lemmy.world avatar

I wish I had this person’s problem 😔

I need more (any) raccoons in my life

Gargantu8,

Go watch that YouTube feeding raccoons hotdogs channel

SasquatchBanana,

Got to get yourself some garage racoons

hperrin, in No escape

Easy, just open it with your teeth, then your hands will stay clean.

danc4498, in No escape

Let’s normalize revolving doorways into bathrooms

jimmycrackcrack, in "Millennial lingo" by Shen Comic

GenZ is sitting quietly reading a printed newspaper and only speaks in a universally recognizable lexicon with no cohort specific affectations?

captainlezbian,

Only as performance art

GBU_28,

Uh that performance is cultural appropriation

sag,

What do you mean that’s my daily routine.

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