If it helps folks feel better, successful relationships often require successful communication. If one is playing games and the other isn’t getting it, that may be a good thing that the moment was missed; you weren’t on the same wavelength and should probably pair with a better match.
I remember an acquaintance was complaining about their computer turning off when they closed the lid, so I told her to hand it over and I’d see if I could fix it.
She said she’d buy me dinner to thank me, but my fix didn’t really fix the problem, I just made the computer not sleep when you closed it, and so I didn’t feel like it was worth a reward
She even asked a second time, it took me years to realize I unknowing (firmly) shot her down
There was this one guy I was good friends with during my late teens, always taking pictures of us… Took me embarrassingly long to realise he had the gay hots for me. In my defense, I leaned way more hetero at the time.
Both of you are coming vague. His “leaning more hetero at the time” and your emphasis on ACTUALLY, you sound like you’re doubting that a person can like penises and vaginas, or just straight up not care.
He’s probably bi or pan. Probably always had been. He probably didn’t realize it in school, or wouldn’t admit it to himself due to societal pressure. He seems to be more comfortable about it now. It really doesn’t need much more detail.
I feel like lemmy is sticking more to the old reddiquette upvote/downvote culture of “upvote if it contributes to the conversation, downvote if not”, and not the modern culture of “upvote is if lols”.
I think it’s just an intrusive thought because she basically (accidentally) told her friend that she is weird and annoying during a moment of vulnerability. Stuff sticks with you. It’s like the time I felt the need to explain to our German foreign exchange student that they only need to use a little bit of salt because I didn’t realize that they have salt in Germany. I was 9 at the time, but still. I think about that…
I think the second girl meant the first one acted weird and awkward around everybody, not just her crush, so it’s not reasonable to conclude the second girl was the crush anyway.
But second girl only ever sees how first girl acts when she is around (regardless of who else is there). That’s how perception works. She can’t see how first girl acts when she’s not there, because she wouldn’t be there to see it.
That’s how I read it and dark hair was just like “wow I can’t believe I said that to someone” sometimes it takes us a while to realize we put our foot in our mouth but the interpretation that is more common in this thread probably makes more sense.
Man… in college I was in the bedroom of a girl I had a crush on and didn’t take the hint. She’d invited me over to do homework together but never touched a book and took me to her bedroom. I still didn’t get the hint.
Hey some of us are meant to make lots and lots of babies with varied and sundry people. And spread lots and lots of STDs in the process.
And some of us (myself included) are not. Which is fine because babies are expensive, and gross. Now I’m sterile, I can have all the sex I want, and I only need to watch for the disease part
Met up at hers to study. Didn’t study much, but we chatted a lot.
She told me about how she was born with a birth defect (hips or tibias, I don’t recall now) and how fairly early her on as a baby she had surgery to correct it.
The surgeon made a point out of really doing a nice suture to make the scars as minimal as possible, for future “young lady” her.
She wasn’t shy about showing me, pulling down one side of her pants to show the pretty much invisible scar. “See??”
And I did nothing. Call it good manners, call it being shackled by the fear of self-doubt.
Geez. I just now remembered her full name. And it’s been more than 40 years now.
For real though, a friend of mine recently (August) walked into a gas station and asked the girl working there if she was married. She said yes. He said, “You the type keep a man on the side?”
The next day he was in handcuffs. He’s a strange dude and he says things to women that I don’t think he should, so naturally, I doubted him.
He was charged with stalking, trespassing after being forbidden, and assault.
His lawyer managed to get the video from the store and the body cam video from the officer who responded. He brought the USB drive by a few days ago after the charges were dismissed so I could see the video. He doesn’t want his friends to think he’s a piece of shit.
I watched it. He said exactly what I said above and told her to have a good day, turned back around to say, “Good on you for being faithful. You ever get sick of him, remember me.” Was it nasty to say that? Absolutely. A crime? Absolutely not.
The body cam video was the most interesting part. The woman said, “He came in here and told me outright that he wanted to fuck me. I told him I was married and I figured that would be the end of it, just like with other creepy men. I asked him to please not come here while I’m working.” The cop interrupts, “Well that’s trespassing right there. I’ll git eem fer that too.” She continued, “Well, he had a massive erection and he stood here playing with it through his shorts. He wanted me to see it. He came over beside the counter and kind of stepped behind where I was at.” Cop interrupts again, “Ok so he actually came behind the counter?” “Not fully, but he did step back there about a step or two.” She replied. Cop says, “well ‘ats assault right there. I can charge em with that too. So did he take his penis out where you could see it? I’d like to charge him with indecent exposure too but unless you seen his penis, like, the flesh, I cain’t do that. I’m gonna git eem with stalkin’ too though.” She replied, “Well no, I didn’t see his actual penis, but he stood there rubbing it through his shorts and motioning his head for me to look at it. It was a big old boner. I was scared to death. He kept saying, “you know I can give it to you good, won’t you walk in the women’s bathroom with me.” and stuff like that. I called my husband and he came out here. When the guy came back a third time he walked in and walked right back out when he seen my husband.”
On the video he walked in, said, “Well, damn. I left my wallet at home. I’ll be right back.” Her husband said, “no, you won’t be right back. You ain’t welcome in here anymore.” He paused for a second and looked at him dumbfounded and said, “Well, alright. This ain’t the only gas station in town. Bye then.”
I watched the video from the gas station. None of it happened. Everything she said was pure fantasy. I spent from August until a few days ago thinking he was a total fucking creep. I can’t believe he was charged at all and I can’t believe the girl didn’t back out when the manager offered to get the video for the police. Oh, and the assault charge. He stepped behind the counter to reach over and grab a paper towel to clean coffee he spilled. He has been stopping there for 20 years and didn’t think it would be a problem.
She also said he didn’t pay for his coffee on the video so I’m surprised officer Doofy didn’t charge him with shoplifting too.
Us men gotta be careful. For real.
Women too, because assholes like the one she described to the officer do exist and women contend with them daily. Lying, dangerous women also exist too.
I’d be afraid to hit on a total stranger. I wouldn’t want to anyway because that’s not the type of person I am. If I were though, I’d be too afraid to do it. Every woman I’ve ever been with said something to me first. I never wanted to come off as a creep and I like women who assert themselves anyway.
Fortunately there was video and the charges were dropped.
Yes, women can lie. So can anyone. And I mean… we don’t know you either and we’re supposed to take your word for it. As far as I know this is a story online. Anyone can lie to sway an opinion the way they want it. Wouldn’t be the first. Won’t be the last.
As I already said and started with: yes women can lie. So can anyone. I find it interesting It’s been repeated to you now. Once was not enough for you.
I assume bad actors trying to convince others they are ‘having a discussion’ are nothing better than a trolllolollollo. You’re a troll. Enjoy my block list.
You know, it is possible to acknowledge that there are some areas where men do tend to have it worse than women. Or at least have significant problems that should be acknowledged. It’s ok to do that
I don’t disagree that men face issues. But That’s not what this discussion is. I don’t agree that we be reactionary or cram a bunch of bullshit and sensationalism into the topic.
Issues should be fixed but also based on real issues. Not based on anecdotes some rando dogwhistling online to get reactionaries to crawl out of the woodwork. That debases the topics.
It is a possible story. But as far as we take that as something to act on, we have to remind ourselves this is what someone posts on the internet. this might as well be treated as something you copypasta from nosleep on Reddit.
There are real stories. There are sides to the story. And there are truths. This is a story. At best it could be argued it’s a side to a story. But as far as I know: it’s just as much a truth as not a truth.
Take the emotion you have of the woman lying in this story. Now apply it to the OP. Cuz it has contains as much fact to go by on as far as we know is a fictional story or strongly one sided about what actually happened.
If you want to discuss issues for real, it can’t just be based on having a pitchfork out on a fictional story. Cuz you’d not let that woman in the story get away with it. You shouldn’t get away with it either.
Men’s life are not the only lives that matter. So no, there is no difference in gender when it comes to lying to destroy someone’s life. You’re being sexist.
If not a true story, at least it has a moral: Don’t judge anyone until all the facts have been laid out. And not just what each person say, the fucking facts, like video tapes. Or, if you are a God fearing citizen, as Jesus H. Christ said: Don’t judge others until you have your fucking facts right. Or something on that line.
I agree. Specifically though I think men need to be careful about who they flirt with and in what contexts. Flirting with people at their job should never be considered. Best case, you annoy her. Worst case, well… you explained one example. Either way, it’s generally wise not to annoy the people you want to hook up with.
Nah, you take your shot (without being inappropriate) then you accept the answer gracefully.
This guy did a three in one - she clearly went way, way beyond acceptable responses, but forcing out a straight “no” makes women uncomfortable.
When she says “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m gay” or whatever, it may be the reason she’s saying no or she might just be lying to spare your pride and avoid a bad reaction. An excuse is definitely a “no” though
You get one shot. If you’re the type who needs a clear answer, ask a clear question the first time
Bro. You don’t ask this to random people. You need to build rapport. I have plenty of times vibed with people and then told them i got the hots for them and then we did the deed. It ain’t too hard. Just be clear and upfront and make some vibe checks.
Because I cherish my privacy and I don’t think it matters what your height is or rule 1 and 2. I am a short king, average looking, but I understand people and I can be genuine at times and have wonderful experiences.
At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
We could be actively fucking and I’d still doubt if that’s what she meant. I’d need something like a testimony under oath and corroborating opinions from three independent psychologists.
Damn, this reminds me of what happened to me. A girl I had the biggest crush on was lying in bed and saying take your shirt off and come over here. Back then I was super self-conscious about my body so I said: “Haha, why? No, I don’t want to”.
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