lemmyshitpost

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OpenStars, in You won't listen...
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Real men actually do things post memes.

It reminds me of that YouTube series “Why are you so angry?”

sugar_in_your_tea, in life hacks
synae,
@synae@lemmy.sdf.org avatar
CADmonkey, in Venus by Tuesday

The titty of the polar vortex sags ever southward.

FlyingSquid, in Meow
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

This is how boring it was to be a monk in the middle ages. You draw stuff like this in the margins when you aren’t painstakingly copying a Roman treatise on Aristotle’s Poetics.

raynethackery, in I can barely grasp where I am, please don't ask me any questions before I have some coffee

Listen, I’m like an old computer. I need time to boot up in the morning. One hour should do it.

niktemadur, in life hacks

Ok, somebody’s gotta say it and it’s gonna be me:

Yo dawg, we put a shower in your shower so you can shower while you shower.

OpenStars,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar
usualsuspect191,

How’d you solve the last 25%?

Ross_audio,

I bought n books and I only have 100/2^^n problems left.

Rubanski,

Sounds like a “Achilles and the tortoise” problem

kender242, (edited )
@kender242@lemmy.world avatar

Zeno’s pair-a-books!

niktemadur, (edited )

So it’s like Bitcoin mining, then, halving each time.

OpenStars,
@OpenStars@startrek.website avatar

Recursion.

I uh… might have forgotten the terminal condition, so feel free to report me for violating Rule 2 of this community - breaking the law! (of good sense):-P

Empricorn,

Thank you for your service. I wasn’t going to leave that un-posted, believe!

Beelzebob, in I can barely grasp where I am, please don't ask me any questions before I have some coffee

My wife likes to start full conversations as soon as my eyes open. I have to throw my hands up with a, “Too many words…”

Darkmuch,

I worked on a submarine as a messenger. We would carry orders and reports to officers for their review and approval. BUT my shift was around 4am and I’d find half the officers asleep, just to shove an orders packet in their face demanding a signature. I’m sure they”review it very thoroughly ten seconds after waking up.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

“Sign it yourself man, there’s a pen… 😴”

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Yep, mine as well…

Hjalamanger, in life hacks
@Hjalamanger@feddit.nu avatar

Should I check my emails while I’m taking a shower in the shower?

lugal,

No, there is a limit to multi tasking

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

If there’s no limit to monitors, there’s no limit to multitasking. And there’s no limit to monitors.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/7d218582-0993-4030-85c7-4be530c0db34.png

Now if only someone would develop the waterproof monitor…

IamAnonymous,

Wonder what type of graphics card they are using. My work laptop could only handle a max of 4 external monitors.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’m guessing more than one. Doesn’t look like a laptop.

THE_ANON, in Carrot

You guys joke until the carrot rots inside and starts smelling and mealworms form and after they eat the carrot fully the mealworms starts falling on your lap.

pigup,

I was on my way to go fishing anyways so

THE_ANON,

Can’t argue with that your blersed

KnightontheSun,

“The ‘blursed’ of times???”

Rubanski,

Depending on humidity, it might just shrivel up

TseseJuer,

I WAS IN THE POOL!

derpgon,

Never ending drive snack. Keep feeding the steering wheel carrots and it will keel feeding you meal worms. I say that’s a win.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

Hey I once dropped an avocado in my car and discovered it a looooong time later, it was shriveled & rotten but no smell, no mold and no bugs.

LeadSeason,

How did it taste?

LemmyKnowsBest,

I dunno. Why don’t you ask the compost bin bacteria how they think it tasted.

Randelung,

Sounds like a temporary problem. Once the carrot is gone and all the worms have fallen out, problem solved!

FlyingSquid, in Society beware
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I remember when it was a V for Vendetta Guy Fawkes mask. Times change, but laziness does not.

gnutrino, in Even Oedipus feels uncomfortable rn

Oedipus tore his eyes out once he realised what he had done, it’s fair to say he would be uncomfortable with anything incesty…

SnokenKeekaGuard,
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Didnt tear off his dick tho. Just think about that

tias,

I’ve thought about it and concluded that I’m glad he didn’t

LinkOpensChest_wav, in You won't listen...

It’s Gamer time!

HikingVet, in Too late.

Click the link and a download wants to start, which, NOPE.

ace,
@ace@lemmy.ananace.dev avatar

People really have no love for JPEG-XL - though to be fair that’s mainly Google’s fault at the moment.

HikingVet,

This is an unknown download, so… FUCK THAT.

AFC1886VCC, in I'm never lonely cuz i got these little guys with me :)

Oh squiggly line, I see you there in the periphery of my vision

THE_ANON, in His true endgame

I wouldn’t be suprised if zuck said that guy is so deraneged from real world

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