Mediocre_Bard,

Intergalactic diplomacy will play out in World of Warcraft.

FrostyCaveman,

humans haven’t been invited to the Galactic Federation yet due to having too low a gear score

Korne127, (edited )
@Korne127@lemmy.world avatar

Human population is very empathetic, but very kinky.

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Aliens: … this one has a bright red ball strapped to their mouth … I suppose it’s a requirement for all of them

sharkfucker420,
@sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m autistic. So they’d be very confused with most people I think

bhamlin,

I, for one, would welcome our nuwu owoverlords.

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

The way the world is going … uwu makes more and more sense every day

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

There’s a lot of autistic people in this thread

sharkfucker420,
@sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar

There’s a lot of autistic people on lemmy I think

Bizarroland,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

Not bad. Couple of you fucks would be ackacked into non-existence but 99.997% of you would be alright.

Pyroglyph,
@Pyroglyph@lemmy.world avatar

You make it sound like you have a fervent hatred for ~250,000 people.

I’m intrigued…

Voyajer,
@Voyajer@lemmy.world avatar

Dude must have a grudge against Samoa or something. That or he wants to distribute some wealth and zap all the billionaires and anyone close to being one.

I_Fart_Glitter,

That would be 99.999967%, not 99.997.

There about 8,019,876,189 people in the world, 2640 of whom are billionaires, or about 0.000033%

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World's_Billionaires

2023: In the 37th annual Forbes list of the world’s billionaires, the list included 2,640 billionaires with a total net wealth of $12.2 trillion, down 28 members and $500 billion from 2022. Over half of the list is less wealthy compared to the previous year, including Elon Musk, who fell from No. 1 to No. 2.[2] The list also marks for the first time a French citizen was in the top position as well as a non-American for the first time since 2013 when the Mexican Carlos Slim Helu was the world’s richest person. The list, like in 2022, counted 15 under 30 billionaires with the richest of them being Red Bull heir Mark Mateschitz with a net worth of $34.7 billion. The youngest of the lot were Clemente Del Vecchio, heir to the Luxottica fortune shared with his six siblings and stepmother, and Kim Jung-yang, whose fortune lies in Japanese-South Korean gaming giant Nexon, both under-20s.[10]

Bizarroland,
@Bizarroland@kbin.social avatar

Don't act like the quality of humanity couldn't be dramatically improved by eliminating the 250,000 worst of us.

Rapists, murderers, evil billionaires, corrupt politicians, shitty bosses, manipulative assholes and general dickheads of all races, creed, and gender, honestly 250,000 may not be enough but it would be a good start.

harmsy,

In one sense? Very, very much. I hope y’all like tentacles. In another sense, the complete opposite of screwed. I hope y’all like free healthcare.

harmsy,

Also, mommydommes. With tentacles.

harry_balzac,

Well as someone with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, as well as being on the spectrum, initially we’d be kinda screwed. I have spent a lot of time in therapy and have done a lot to manage it all, as well as developing empathy for myself and others, so not so bad.

However, I choose to be a non-theistic Satanist and an anarchist, so a lot of other people are going to be fucked. Especially those that deserve no empathy due to their hoarding of resources and exploitation of people and the planet.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Could you elaborate on the Satanist part? It’s the first time I encounter that specific term.

Kiwi_Girl,
@Kiwi_Girl@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

They might mean this: thesatanictemple.com/pages/about-us

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Ummm… doesn’t that contradict what satanism is all about?

takeda,

That’s because they don’t believe Satan or dark magic exists.

Monument,

All religion is as meaningless as the meaning we attach to any word.

U.S. Christian Nationalists are engaged in a campaign of legal and political efforts to change U.S. law and public policy in such a way that it removes divisions between public policy and religious doctrine, or uses public money for Christian causes. The Temple of Satan was (at least partially) founded to combat those efforts and to set people free by spreading knowledge. They do this by subverting the laws that privilege Christians (religious holiday displays, religious after school clubs, etc); by working to shine a light on what Christian’s are doing while offering a community and guidelines for moral living without fear of gods concocted by prehistoric man. In many of their materials, they allude to being the snake in the garden of Eden, whose only crime was sharing information with Eve. In the one bit of research I did for this comment, I also learned that satan is just the Hebrew word for “accuser” - and originally they just pointed out how dumb some things were.

Contextually, the Temple of Satan name is honestly probably more relevant to them than Christian is to U.S. Jesus worshippers.

misophist,

What do you think Satanism is about? I model my behavior on a rational, scientific, and humanistic worldview and I fight against superstition. One of the predominant superstitious organisations in my country have a mythical being that espouses all of these same traits and they call it Satan. It’s convenient for us to refer to ourselves using their own language, so they instantly know we are against anti-humanism and superstitious oppression.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

My point was, maybe they should call it Paganism or something like that. Satanism doesn’t really bring much to the table (as a term) IMO.

misophist,

That’s fair. If you decide you want to identify your religion as Pagan, you are free to do so. It is much less fitting for our beliefs, tenets, and morals than Satanism, but may be a better fit for your beliefs.

unreasonabro,

Bro. You don’t think that having to label a “rational, scientific, humanistic worldview that fights against superstition and ignorance” as SATANIC makes a point?

You gotta remember the Satanic church started in like the 50s or 60s in the USA when the tone of the country was even more overtly religulous than it is now. It’s an aggressive reaction to craven stupidity. Murica, don’t tread on me, that sort of thing.

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

deleted_by_author

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  • 0x4E4F,
    @0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Well, paganism should be a more acceptable name for it, just to distinguish between the two.

    I completely agree with the first part though, nothing wrong with that. In fact, we should all be leaning towards that if we wanna survive.

    takeda,

    The Church of Satan believes in the supernatural and would be the traditional satanists.

    The Satan’s Temple are essentially atheists that formed a religion to enjoy the same religious protections as people in other religions.

    takeda, (edited )

    I met a member. And he explained to me that they are pretty much atheists but from the point of the law they enjoy religious protections.

    Basically if you call yourself atheist, you won’t get any religious protections, because you don’t have any religion. Everyone knows that FSM is a joke, so that wouldn’t fly either. So they created a religion. They chose Satan, to get expected reaction from devoted Christians, they don’t believe in Satan though (unlike wackos from the Church of Satan). You can read their 7 tenets, which sound quite reasonable: thesatanictemple.com/…/there-are-seven-fundamenta…

    MightyGalhupo,

    This is actually really reasonable. What are the “religious protections” you speak of?

    PsychedSy,

    They put cool shit up in state capitols (see: snaketivity), have “after school satan” clubs, abortion rituals. All sorts of shit to use the cover of religion to assert freedoms.

    MightyGalhupo,

    That sounds amazing

    PsychedSy,

    It’s a pretty legit movement. I have met some more ‘witchy’ types that take it too seriously, but meh. Not hurting anyone so who cares.

    MightyGalhupo,

    I care, but in a that’s great and I wish I had thought of that way.

    PsychedSy,

    Well, I mean that I like the TST, but the witchy nonsense feels kinda ick.

    takeda,

    Things that you normally don’t think about. For example if you tried to get a job and the owner refused to hire you, because you don’t believe in his religion, you can sue that they are discriminating. If you are atheist, that won’t work, because you don’t have a religion.

    If a certain group claims to be offended by something, because it affects their religion, atheists have no say, because they have no religion.

    There’s no tax exemptions, money that might be directed to religious institutions won’t go to atheist organizations, because again that’s not a religion and so on.

    As for the other commenter’s, about putting Capitol displays and after school programs is meant to emphasize separation of church and state and religion in schools. The “abortion rituals” are for fighting recent SCOTUS ruling, that it apparently infringes their religious freedoms and prevents practicing their religion (kind of contra to Christians imposing their beliefs on others). Though, with current SCOTUS and states that are banning abortion, I don’t know if it does much.

    unreasonabro,

    called fighting fire with fire ;)

    MightyGalhupo,

    This is wonderful how had I not heard of this before

    Funkytom467,
    @Funkytom467@lemmy.world avatar

    I’ll gladly take aliens trying to cure me of an ADHD and depression i don’t have if they can also cure us of religions and capitalism.

    More importantly you going to therapy and improving yourself the way you described it, that in itself is sincerely the best exemple we can show an alien, ever.

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    Intergalactic Therapy Industrial Complex rubbing their hands

    Funkytom467,
    @Funkytom467@lemmy.world avatar

    Well yes please, fix us.

    Although i doubt we have anything worthy of hand rubbing for them. But hey, at least we’re making jobs!

    MindSkipperBro12,

    Your mental state does explain your political beliefs.

    webghost0101,

    Seems i am going to be just fine after all.

    Seriously though how did you write something so personal and yet described my life so well.

    Like the only difference is that you are a non theist satanist anarchist. While i am an agnostic spiritual anarchist having Jesus (but not god) as an example of a good.

    unreasonabro,

    I like that it takes becoming satanic to develop a civilized view of the world. Rather I like how completely we have twisted the world with TOTAL BULLSHIT that people feel the need to claim a force for ultimate evil is what makes them want to make the world a fairer, less shitty place.

    PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S,
    @PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    I’m literally autistic and I can barely even talk to people anymore, so I imagine it’ll be a gigantic disaster.

    unreasonabro, (edited )

    right but they’re psychic so you can actually communicate at a real rate instead of tripping over your meat trumpet like a fucking animal all the time

    PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S,
    @PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    Oh okay, so all they’re going to hear about humanity is all the weird math shit I’ve been watching YouTube lectures on lately 😆.

    funkless_eck,

    what book is it where they communicate with aliens starting with first principals of mathematics? we might be ok.

    PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S,
    @PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    But merely being able to communicate with people has never been sufficient to make peace with them, at least from my experience. Otherwise I’d be much more popular with people, because I never had trouble reading, listening to, and writing to people, but I’m not good at talking to people. I typically need a lot more prior information (i.e. cultural norms, dictionary of body language, recent local history, a catalog of an individual’s interests and their definitions, etc.) to talk to people effectively, which I often don’t have or acquire by fucking up enough times to figure it out by hand 🙃.

    Kolanaki, (edited )
    @Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

    They’re just gonna be commenting on Lemmy all day. Threat averted.

    DosDude,
    @DosDude@retrolemmy.com avatar

    Yes. You are everywhere.

    Kolanaki,
    @Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

    Because I’m actually an entire race of aliens desperately trying to make contact with humans.

    DosDude,
    @DosDude@retrolemmy.com avatar

    Yeah that makes sense. Except, there are no humans here. Only nerds.

    unreasonabro,

    the only humans worthy of the term are nerds, bro.

    FlyingSquid,
    @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

    Hey, the aliens want to communicate through a sarcastic misanthrope… well, I can’t say I’d blame them.

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    Aliens randomly picking people … nope, nope, nah, nope, nope, nuh-uh, nah, nope, nope… Wait a minute??? … they’re all mentally unwell!!!

    BluJay320,
    @BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

    Let’s just say the overpopulation issue will be thoroughly resolved

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    Mein Führer?

    BluJay320,
    @BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

    Nah, just your average misanthrope

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    Das ist gut … I think

    AVincentInSpace,

    nah they’d take one look inside that guy’s mind and go “well fuck this species”

    aeronmelon,

    UN: “Boy, they really like using Star Trek memes to convey their thoughts…”

    nxdefiant,

    All the Me clones: Sokath, his eyes opened.

    AngryCommieKender,

    Riker: 🍆 💦

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    Turns out Star Trek was just a retelling of actual intergalactic life

    Aliens: Who the hell told them all this stuff … I don’t look like that? … My ass isn’t that fat … Is it?

    misophist,

    “These beings have documented a perfect understanding of warp core, matter transmission, and matter replication technologies, yet they refuse to actually use any them and are stuck on a single planet fighting wars over limited resources.”

    DharmaCurious,
    @DharmaCurious@startrek.website avatar

    Well, there’ll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it’s gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    lol … aliens arrive in 1960s era London police boxes to try to not alarm us as they make first contact

    Aliens first message: … I say my good man, it’s quite a coincidence to find you in this part of the galaxy. I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, fuller than a tick on a big dog and fine as frog hair and not half as slick to greet you on this fair morning under god’s blue sky.

    DharmaCurious,
    @DharmaCurious@startrek.website avatar

    … I think I’m in love with you.

    thorbot,

    Humans only want to masturbate, sleep and play board games. Sounds great

    DredUnicorn,

    I’m in

    Makeshift,

    Humanity is screwed.

    They like being alone, don’t like loud noises, will find a reason to leave a situation with more than 3 people in a small area. They don’t have any sexual desire and will be most happy to go through life without ever having intercourse. Probably going to go extinct without outside intervention thanks to that, better intervene to preserve the species.

    They want to hibernate when it’s cold outside. Cold = anything below 70f.

    They’re herbivores though so at least they don’t destroy their planet by mass farming the cruelest and most inefficient food source possible. Silver lining?

    ininewcrow,
    @ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

    Excellent source of creating a slave race? … to build that interplanetary space gun to destroy XMH3003 and those stupid Morkahons

    bonezey,

    Can’t leave the flying saucer without having triple checked it’s locked.

    0x4E4F, (edited )
    @0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Yeah, that’s an anxiety issue as far as I know. Have (had) the same problem. I mannage that with some lite antidepressants.

    bonezey, (edited )

    Glad you have overcome it. Started when I saw a report on TV where they mentioned that not only high value cars are stolen but also VW Golf type cars. Last year I purchased a battery powered GPS tracker with a 4G module so I can always track where my car is. Made it much better.

    0x4E4F, (edited )
    @0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

    For me it started out of nowhere. I really have no idea how it started. Then I had sleeping problems, so I decided to go to a psychiatrist and see what the problem might be. Turns out I was depressed and just need a nudge in the right direction. I started out with a larger dose, but eventually got down to a minimal dose. I don’t think I need them any more, I was meaning to talk to my psychiatrist about that.

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