Crackers
BilboBargains, Finish by eating the sleeve with a nice Chianti.
xarexyouxmadx, People eat saltines… willingly?
BowtiesAreCool, They’re delicious
theluckyone, Add sardines to that, and you’ll have reached a whole new level.
curiousaur, I can’t believe someone beat me to it. Sardines, or tinned smoked oysters, a little cheese, baby you’ve got yourself a meal.
ultra, new beef stroganoff just dropped
FluorideMind, Oof this one hits close to home.
starman2112, 
Butter
Peanut butter
Cheese
Spray cheese
Cream cheese
Cream cheese with a clove of garlic
Honey
Help me think of more good ways to enjoy saltines
prime_number_314159, I just put saltines on them.
MaxVoltage, 
New toast sandwich
iagomago, 
ham?
alternatively, sauce.
xX_fnord_Xx, Mustard if you are especially desperate.
BowtiesAreCool, Taco Bell hot sauce packets. Actually goes well with white rice as well.
Panurge987, Summer sausage and cheddar cheese.
PatFussy, This how i got gout
Kase, I had to google that, and what the actual fuck. That sounds horrible.
WarmSoda, Guilty as charged.
frickineh, I put a little butter on them sometimes and it’s delicious but everyone thinks I’m crazy until they try it. I wish I had some saltines right now.
Sotuanduso, I also think you’re crazy, but I believe you.
meekah, 
mixing carbs and fat is never crazy
Kit, My grandma used to do this. It really is a satisfying treat.
intensely_human, I’ve done this. It never crossed my mind other people didn’t. You have some butter nearby and you’re eating crackers? You put the butter on the crackers.
It’s like finding a thread where people are going “Try butting butter on the toast. I know it sounds weird [no?] but you gotta try it.” and others “Oh yeah my grandma used to do that”
Elderos, I get that a lot when I put butter on my pizza crust, I mean it is bread?
i2ndshenanigans, I like butter on saltines.
seth, This suggestion is relevant to my interests, and I have all the ingredients on hand. Thank you for your service. 🫡
lolcatnip, (edited ) Isn’t that what saltines are for?
Edit: Wait, I read that as peanut butter. Butter is…not gross but not what I do.
frickineh, Peanut butter is good too. That’s for when I feel like making marginally better choices, though (because then I can say, “Well it has protein?”)
starman2112, I survived for something like three years on butter and saltines. It’s the best if you use unsalted butter, and put rock salt on top, but let’s be real here–we’re just scraping butter straight off the stick with each saltine and eating it like we’re in the trenches of the Great War and we don’t know when the Krauts are gonna attack us so we gotta eat fast
Raptor_007, I do this, but with graham crackers instead.
PunnyName, Add peanut butter.
hamburglar26, 
Yes. Saltines and spreading some good crunchy peanut butter is a fine lazy meal.
swab148, 
Skip the butter part, just whole peanuts
Sotuanduso, Instructions unclear. Saltines, peanuts, and butter.
PP_BOY_, 
Blood Pressure 100
BlueLineBae, 
Salt-less saltines? Ines?
SuiXi3D, 
Systolic or diastolic?
IHeartBadCode, 
EmergMemeHologram, What’s wrong with doing this? I do it semi often. My wife thinks it’s weird but I’ve never regretted it.
I melt cheese on them sometimes.
match, 
have you considered taking a job as a mid-1600s sailor
EmergMemeHologram, I like scuttlebutt, rum, salt cod, and I can eat a whole lemon on its own.
But I don’t like the heat or back breaking labour, so I don’t think I’d be a good fit.
SuiXi3D, Doubt they did either, but it was that or starve.
intensely_human, “I kinda like it actually”
“Shut up, Nart”
“But —“
“It’s a horrible life”
EmergMemeHologram, I think with the British navy they hanged you for refusing service, but I haven’t decided if that’s preferable to starving.
Quadhammer, He meant eat a ladle of cinnamon
EmergMemeHologram, (edited ) Cool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well, I won’t be fooled again.
Isakk86, I just thought the same thing… They are delicious
anonymouse, I should go back to doing this instead of eating Cheetos. Sleeve of crackers and a serving spoon of peanut butter. So good.
EmergMemeHologram, I’m feeling vindicated by this thread. I do this too and my wife comments on it, so I mostly do it when she’s not home.
Pinklink, Someone who makes you feel like you have to hide who you are is not acting like a very good partner :( and you can tell her I said so
swab148, “Baby, I know we’ve been together for 12 years, but some random person on the internet said we should break up because I eat crackers, so it’s over.”
seth, I read it as a helpful cue to shore up the small discordant point in the relationship, with saltine goodness and a little brainstorming on ways to improve the crackerage. Couples who cracker together, something something.
an_otter, 
Couples who cracker together, smack ‘er together?
EmergMemeHologram, She calls me a weirdo but she still brings me crackers and peanut butter or she makes me “cracker stew” (which is soup fully saturated with crackers) when I’m sick.
We’re good, but next time she bugs me for it I’ll repeat the message
sugar_in_your_tea, And it’s almost healthy. Not really, but compared to Cheetos…
intensely_human, I just realized I’ve never tried butter on an apple. Butter on fruit generally.
youCanCallMeDragon, 
You gotta do it without water
Imgonnatrythis, Are you hard of reading? Poster says you Will not regret. Don’t be so surprised.
match, when you get sick and you can finally justify eating sleeve of saltines 😋
sbv, maybe with a brick of cheese
nothing helps my self esteem like a sleeve of saltines and a brick of cheese
baronvonj, 
Whipped cream. Salty and sweet. Delicious.
EmergMemeHologram, I will be trying this these holidays. I’d have never thought of mixing the two.
In exchange for the idea, I recommend sweetening whipped cream with a dash of maple syrup, the maple flavour comes out nicely with the airy texture. But do not use this for pumpkin pie or another sweet treat as it’s too rich.
baronvonj, mmmmmm
Add comment