memes

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WashedOver, in When it's taken that long, there's only one thing that can be done
@WashedOver@lemmy.ca avatar

Why not save time and stomp it in the shower?

devfuuu,

This is da way

Tedesche,

Wafflestomping. Greatest neologism I’ve ever heard.

guriinii, in When it's taken that long, there's only one thing that can be done

People shit for 45 mins?

new_guy,

I know right?

This shit (literally) will give you hemorrhoids

Octopus1348, (edited )

It should be maximum 10. I do it in like 3-4 mins.

lobut,

I just can’t. I think I need to switch my diet up or something. Even when I was doing pure veggie shakes it’s been a chore.

maldivirdragonwitch,
@maldivirdragonwitch@lemmy.world avatar

Eating salad with seeds (especially lax seeds) with every big meal has helped me tremendously. So has eating soup every second/third day. … Although, so has cutting coffee and cigarettes and switching to tea. 😁

It’s a process. Try different stuff, see how your gut reacts, maybe you don’t have to change as much as you think.

Evil_Shrubbery, in Sisyphus

If afterlife isn’t just some cruel joke … well, slap me around & call me Phusy Sissy

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Afterlife? Pfft. If I’d thought I had to go through a whole 'nother life, I’d kill myself right now.

dalekcaan,

REMEMBER MEEEE

navitux, in Please wear a mask
@navitux@lemmy.world avatar

This is creepy as hell XD

LemmyKnowsBest,

deleted_by_author

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  • irmoz,

    Ooof dude

    pewgar_seemsimandroid, in What a nice video of a car peacefully driving amongst beautiful hills

    replace it with the Pheonix package meme see if it’ll be scarier

    fitgse, in Shit job

    Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That’s why I poop on company time!

    kn33,

    Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
    That was a poem for a simpler time.
    Boss makes a dollar, I don’t make jack.
    That’s why I riot - to seize the means back.

    Franzia, in In more ways than one... NSFW

    You cannot just show my astronaut ass a giant butthole

    WashedOver,
    @WashedOver@lemmy.ca avatar

    Well it might help with that docking situation…

    tygerprints, in Shit job

    Obviously with your ingenuity and all that you contribute to the sewage system, your deserve to be payed equal to the CEO of your company, especially for all the long breaks and lack of interest you bring to the work force every day.

    0xD, (edited )

    Just as much as CEOs (or any C-levels) deserve an exorbitant amount of pay for their ingenuity of sitting in meetings all day and basing decisions on pretty graphs made by others? Oh, and when the company “doesn’t do well” it’s the employees’ fault! Another round of layoffs WHOOO!

    WereCat,

    Sup boss… Didn’t know you’re on Lemmy too!

    irmoz,

    Hey, everyone, point and laugh at the square!!

    otp,

    tbf, The CEO probably spends more time spewing shit

    LongbottomLeaf, in Please wear a mask
    Exusia,
    @Exusia@lemmy.world avatar

    What is this horror you have shown me

    LongbottomLeaf,

    Been awhile since I’d seen that video, but it was the first thing I thought of when I saw that image. With those gnashing teeth and no eyes.

    ‘Run, run, run, but you sure can’t hide.’

    It’s a great album: Never, Never, Land.

    GrammatonCleric, (edited ) in Shit job
    @GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world avatar

    So, a regular shit, then?

    NakariLexfortaine,

    You might want to increase your fiber intake, friend.

    GrammatonCleric,
    @GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world avatar

    I’m not pushing out shit the whole time, jfc 😂

    PrincessZelda,

    Wiping the poop texta

    tygerprints, in Phew, that was a close one...

    What I don't get is how "legos" figure into this story. It says she was playing along with the whole thing and the police arrested her for supposedly indecent exposure, but it makes no mention of legos??

    NocturnalMorning,

    No idea, I just saw it somewhere (probably lemmy) and thought it was funny.

    tygerprints,

    I'm glad it was just her checking off something on her bucket list. It is a humorous story - but the headline is kind of misleading.

    NocturnalMorning,

    You do realize this was posted in memes right, not news?

    tygerprints,

    Whatever, to me it's just a fun news story, not a big deal at all.

    don,

    I’m guessing it’s clickbait, there’s no mention of what the legos had to do with it.

    tygerprints,

    Yeah I wasn't sure if I just missed something (with my slow internet it's entirely possible). Was she playing with legos at the time? Foolish woman - everyone knows that's illegal if you're over 99 years of age.

    weeabooextract, in Respect the line, pal

    Go fuck yourself. I have one train every two hours, only a couple bucks on my bank account, and five minutes until my train leaves.

    I’m NOT going to wait for the local pensioners to but five months worth of groceries.

    SiegeRhino,
    agamemnonymous,
    @agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Sounds like you need to take responsibility for your own time management.

    FlyingSquid, in Phew, that was a close one...
    @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

    The story behind this is actually pretty wholesome.

    mixedarticle.com/woman-arrested-for-playing-with-…

    NocturnalMorning,

    The story behind this makes it even better. I love it.

    ExtraMedicated, (edited )

    She even fought arrest by kicking them in the face.

    How?! I’m only 37 and I already can’t bring my feet above my waist and she’s fuckin assaulting cops? I’m such a loser.

    can, in We should all be so lucky

    I don’t think I trust a circular stop sign.

    smort,
    @smort@lemmy.world avatar

    Maybe it’s in Australia. They haven’t discovered octagons yet

    Peter_Arbeitslos,
    @Peter_Arbeitslos@feddit.de avatar

    And road sign mounting.

    Geert, in In more ways than one... NSFW
    @Geert@lemmy.world avatar

    Hey OP @WashedOver can you please edit and mark as NSFW or we have to remove it

    konalt,
    @konalt@lemmy.world avatar

    I literally didn’t even notice Uranus was changed until this comment lmao

    Geert,
    @Geert@lemmy.world avatar

    I figured because I was like wtf is that too much asked lol

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