programmer_humor

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DeltaTangoLima, in Debugging
@DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com avatar

My biggest problem isn’t discovering my own crime. It’s trying to determine what my motive was at the time.

Gormadt,
@Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Usually my motive is, “It’s 3am I’ll just put this temp placeholder here and fix it in the morning.”

Proceeds to not fix it due to forgetting by the morning

teft, in Me trying to fix a complex bug that's not important
@teft@startrek.website avatar

How some people are in comments. Always gotta get that one last comment in the chain in.

ErKaf,

I disagree

grue, in Good luck web devs

BRB, sticking microcontrollers to the back of my monitors so I can use their accelerometers to report the orientations in real time…

AVincentInSpace,

I would love it so much if xrandr was able to keep up with that and didn’t blink for 3 seconds every time you changed orientation

baduhai,

Maybe a custom Wayland compositor could keep up

Illecors, in Good luck web devs

I remember seeing the video of this. The guy was doing it for shits and giggles, but it ended up looking great!

mexicancartel,

Can you link it?

Illecors,

No idea what it was, sorry. One of the youtube recommendations at the time.

Stunning, in Good luck web devs

Dunder Mifflin did it first. The Pyramid.

swab148,
@swab148@startrek.website avatar

Sabre, you mean.

RagingRobot, in no.. just no

It’s kind of like graphQl you could make a compiler that would work with this.

utopianfiat,

but why

SaltyIceteaMaker, in no.. just no
@SaltyIceteaMaker@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

got no clue abot sql. what is wrong and how is it supposed to look like?

schnurrito,

SQL is supposed to look like this: SELECT status, name FROM some_table LIMIT 5

ILikeBoobies, (edited )

Different language

Daxtron2,

this basically xml being made to look like SQL. It’s gross and that’s why it’s funny

traches,

SQL is run on the server to communicate with a database. The screenshot is jsx, which is a front-end, UI templating language. Writing SQL this way is cursed

SirQuackTheDuck,

It could be querying the in-browser database (that’s commonly used, such as with WhatsApp web), which would be seeded by a different part of the application

utopianfiat,

Except that’s still a SQL dialect, not JSX. There’s no need to make this JSX.

ThrowawayPermanente, in 4 billion if statements

Let’s be real though, everything is IF statements all the way down

Th4tGuyII,
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

There's not a single thing in this universe that cannot be accomplished with enough IF statements... as long as you've got infinite time to wait

waz, (edited )

…you mean IF you’ve got infinite time to wait?

Klear,

…you mean if you’ve got IFinite time to wait?

firecat,

The problem with if is the answer comes from user. There’s no mathematical reason or scientific explanation, only programmer who thinks the answer should include the subject.

Th4tGuyII,
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

True...

But even on a more metaphorical level, every single thing that has or will happen in this universe, down to even the smallest quantum fluctuations could be encapsulated into IF statements as long as you had enough of them.

idunnololz,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

What if there was an unintentional infinite loop in your code. You could be waiting for infinite time only to learn the code had a bug. D:

redcalcium, in Good luck web devs

Not on wayland, right? Time to pester wayland devs to add this important missing features!

nickwitha_k,

Probably would fall into scope of a compositer in Wayland, rather than the protocol. I suspect it originated with old CRT displays. Sometimes they can appear scan diagonally.

Even without that usecase, I think it’s great to have around in order to support novel displays and display-like devices.

expr, in no.. just no

Not only is this really gross, it’s also straight up wrong. It’s missing a from clause, and it makes no sense for a where clause to be nested under the select. The select list selects columns from rows that have already been filtered by the where clause. Same for the limit.

Also just gonna go ahead and assume the JSX parser will happily allow SQL injection attacks…

nephs,

Booooo

CanadaPlus,

I like the format, though.

ReluctantMuskrat,

Clearly you’ve not had to write and maintain much XML.

CanadaPlus,

I have not. I just thought it looks less goofy than a nested SQL statement split over multiple lines.

What are the issues with XML?

TootSweet, in Good luck web devs

What has science done?

MystikIncarnate,

There’s no science here.

will_a113, in Merge then review

Having a hard time determining whether this is sarcasm or not. Then I see the phrase “JavaScript Engineer” and become doubly confused.

RonSijm,
@RonSijm@programming.dev avatar

I don’t think it’s satire, this guy is actively defending this on Linkedin: i.imgur.com/SlJPG85.png

Blackmist,

I distinguish four types. There are clever, hardworking, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and hardworking; their place is the General Staff. The next ones are stupid and lazy; they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the mental clarity and strength of nerve necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is both stupid and hardworking; he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always only cause damage.

– Kurt von Hammerstein

LinkedIn is Facebook for that last type.

Aviandelight,
@Aviandelight@mander.xyz avatar

That’s a relief because I thought I’d stumbled into LinkedIn Lunatics for a hot second.

BatmanAoD,

Wow, of course he’s pretending the response is a misrepresentation of his opinion instead of defending it in good faith.

Quik,

I think the latter makes clear that this is a joke account, doesn’t it?

backhdlp, in The classic font size exploit
@backhdlp@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Everything looks like hacker with syntax highlighting

xmunk,

Just so long as it’s in dark mode. Light backgrounds burn my eyes after spending so much time in my mom’s basement subsisting only on hotpockets and grits straight off Natalie Portman.

xusontha, in The app doth protest too much, methinks

The server’s embrace, it turns cold,

An SSL error, its tale is told

Spaghetti_Hitchens,

The server balks, digital hands doth sunder,
Thine client's refused for its handshake blunder.

cupcakezealot, in no.. just no
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

please kindly send all javascript into the sun and explode it

db2,

That’s XML though… not that I’m disagreeing.

huginn,

Not XML. JSX. It’s javascript’s answer to markup.

db2,

Gross.

dukk,

The worst of both worlds…

karmiclychee,

It’s like a weaponized grade of whatever they made CSS in JS out of

dan,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    huginn,

    If you put it into an XML parser it will throw an error, so it’s no longer XML.

    Sure it was based on it, but it’s not xml.

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