programmer_humor

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MrOxiMoron, in You can have anything you wan...

Would go for all languages, spoken, written, typed, signed, listened too, seen, felt.

gerryflap, (edited ) in You can have anything you wan...
@gerryflap@feddit.nl avatar

If I was at any moment perfectly aware of every minute detail of every programming related topic, and could also apply it perfectly, I honestly think I’d get incredibly stressed and depressed. Stressed from all the billions of projects that I could improve, and would kinda feel the obligation to improve. And depressed because the whole reason I like programming is the learning part. Almost every project I start will end at the point where I learnt the most significant new stuff and it comes down to doing things that I know how to do. It’d ruin my primary hobby (and job) for me, which probably wouldn’t result in me being very happy.

nogooduser, in You can have anything you wan...

I like the scope creep there:

  1. Programming language (singular)
  2. All programming languages and related knowledge
  3. Add in AI, ML and data structures
coloredgrayscale,

Sounds like they are the product owner :)

sping, in You can have anything you wan...

I’m used to non-software managers thinking knowing a language is knowing how to make software systems, but other programmers? It’s like saying if you know every language now you’re a novelist. Knowing the language is just a basic necessary fundamental from which you can start to learn how to design and create software.

NocturnalMorning, in You can have anything you wan...

Does this include all future invented programming languages?

silasmariner,

No, the flip side of this wish is your knowledge is frozen in time to when you make the wish and can never be updated. You gradually become more and more outdated as you fail to grasp even the simplest of changes to all languages in current usage.

MaggiWuerze,

At that point your fame as a Rockstar Dev (I hate myself for typing that) will allow you to transition to a cushy ceo position.

funkajunk,
@funkajunk@lemm.ee avatar

The ol’ monkey’s paw

NocturnalMorning,

Well damn, that’s kind of evil.

IrateAnteater, in You can have anything you wan...

Why limit yourself like that? Just say “All languages”. Depending on how liberally you interpret the word “language”, you know know just about everything.

fl42v,

Fuck programming then, I’ll go read ancient Egyptian or some not-yet-deciphered crap. On the other hand, I bet it’s not that different from APL

APLSC_matrix-3547335466

drcobaltjedi,

My old man told me he took one programming language in college and it was APL. Having looked at APL since becoming a software dev myself, I can understand why he hated it.

It’s just so gross and hard to read

funkless_eck,

On the other hand, which do you prefer, this:


<span style="color:#323232;"> life ← {⊃1 ⍵ ∨.∧ 3 4 = +/ +⌿ ¯1 0 1 ∘.⊖ ¯1 0 1 ⌽¨ ⊂⍵}
</span>

or this:


<span style="color:#323232;"> MODE UNIVERSE = [upb OF class universe, upb OF class universe]BOOL; STRUCT( INT upb, BOOL lifeless, alive, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID init, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)STRING repr, PROC(REF UNIVERSE, INT, INT)VOID insert glider, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID next ) class universe = ( # upb = # 50, # lifeless = # FALSE, # alive = # TRUE, # PROC init = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID: FOR row index FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO init row(self[row index, ]) OD, # PROC repr = # (REF UNIVERSE self)STRING:( FORMAT cell = $b("[]", " ")$, horizon = $"+"n(UPB self)("--")"+"l$; FILE outf; STRING out; associate(outf, out); putf(outf, (horizon, $"|"n(UPB self)(f(cell))"|"l$, self, horizon)); close(outf); out ), # PROC insert glider = # (REF UNIVERSE self, INT row, col)VOID:( self[row-2, col+1]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row-1, col+2]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row, col:col+2]&nbsp;:= (TRUE, TRUE, TRUE ) ), # PROC next = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID:( [0:2, LWB self-1:UPB self+1]BOOL window;  # init row(window[LWB window, ]); window[LWB self, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[LWB self, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= lifeless OF class universe;  window[LWB self, LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[LWB self, ]; FOR row FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO REF []BOOL next row = window[(row+1) MOD 3, ]; IF row NE UPB self THEN next row[LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[row+1, ] ELSE init row(next row) FI; FOR col FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO INT live&nbsp;:= 0;  FOR row FROM row-1 TO row+1 DO REF[]BOOL window row = window[row MOD 3, ]; FOR col FROM col-1 TO col+1 DO IF window row[col] THEN live +:= 1 FI OD OD; self[row, col]&nbsp;:= IF window[row MOD 3, col] THEN live -:=  live = 3 FI OD OD ) );
</span>
fl42v,

Honesty, neither 🤣

dojan,
@dojan@lemmy.world avatar

At that point just go for omniscience.

farsayl,

Too far. I don’t need to know all that.

jubilationtcornpone, in You can have anything you wan...

Instantly granted all programming knowledge

“Well what the… God damnit! Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? Fucking JavaScript architects!”

orrefailaT,

Every npm package gets downloaded into your brain, immediately collapses into a black hole

rushaction,

My gods. I think this just gave me flashbacks to this week.

I was recently battling node’s import/require shenanigans trying to figure out how to import a typescript module in my basic program. I feel this so hard.

I walked away utterly hating the language and its ecosystem. Utterly defeated, I gave up.

muntedcrocodile, in You can have anything you wan...
@muntedcrocodile@lemmy.world avatar

How do u ask to know everything without asking to know everything?

Mikina, in You're being hacked ...

I know its a joke, but cutting PFF power is never a good idea. It makes any kind of forensics a lot harder, and its probably not going to help anyway. You should isolate the computer from the network, and then call a professional.

However, putting the computer to sleep/hibernate it may help, just so I.e ransomware can’t continue encrypting, but maybe still has keys in memory, if you’re lucky. This is only my theory, though, not sire what are the best practices.

SmoothIsFast, in You're being hacked ...

It would be nice if it worked that way.

mrkite, in what the hell is happening in ultramarine linux
@mrkite@programming.dev avatar

One of the people reverse engineering the M1 GPU for Asahi Linux is a catgirl vtuber: www.youtube.com/asahilina

backhdlp, in what the hell is happening in ultramarine linux
@backhdlp@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

The person in this screenshot ended a podcast they were on with the word Nya.

QuazarOmega, (edited ) in what the hell is happening in ultramarine linux

What’s Fyra tho?

Edit: I guess it’s this: fyralabs.com
Very disappointed in the lack of cats ;(

Justas,
@Justas@sh.itjust.works avatar

It just means 4 in Swedish, like en/ett, två, tre, fyra, fem …

state_electrician,

Femboi?

NovaPrime,
@NovaPrime@lemmy.ml avatar

Pretty sure it’s the patron goddess of the fyre festival

rtxn, in what the hell is happening in ultramarine linux

Right now I’m listening to Adeptus Ridiculous (W40k lore podcast) and the image of giant cat-eared Ultramarines won’t leave my fucking mind

Malix,
@Malix@sopuli.xyz avatar

Yes, Inquisitor, that user right there.

Fizz, in what the hell is happening in ultramarine linux
@Fizz@lemmy.nz avatar

Imagine the smell of that office

hikikoma, (edited )

MUTHKY

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