programmer_humor

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

FALGSConaut, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@FALGSConaut@hexbear.net avatar

Their method actually does make sense, you just have to remember they aren’t cops to solve (boring) crimes like petty theft. Why get it done as efficiently as possible when you can milk it for hours of overtime? 12 hours of footage means 6+ hours of overtime even watching it at x2 speed, and it’s the kind of thing you can basically have going on in the background. Cops being willfully ignorant for their own benefit makes sense to me

mosiacmango, (edited )

You know what’s even better than milking it for 6hrs of OT? Saying its “to hard” to the victim, going home and then lying about doing 6hrs of OT and getting paid anyway.

Cops lie about OT systemically. Its absolutely rampant. The only consequence they ever get is either a few hrs suspension without pay or fired, and most states are happy to hire them next door immediately so they can do it again.

purelynonfunctional, (edited ) in what's the difference?

It’s not, though. Git is a means of distributing content, not the content itself. The thing analogous to PornHub’s porn on GitHub is the source code in the repos hosted there, not Git itself.

CanadaPlus, (edited )

If only there was a website called “StreamHub” or something.

Honestly the content vs. characteristic method of delivery distinction is subtle enough this is still a great way of explaining.

purelynonfunctional, (edited )

Depends on to whom. If you’re explaining to your grandma, a small child, a co-worker, or a student under your tutelage, you probably don’t want an explanation that relies on reference to a porn site.

And if you’re explaining to a novice developer or to an IT person who sometimes might have to work with Git, they deserve an explanation that leaves them with a basic understanding (or at least the names) of the kinds of things Git and GitHub are (VCSes and SCM forges, respectively), not just an inkling that GitHub is not unique in being ‘a place to host (some?) Git, whatever that is’.

So… if you don’t mind that it suggests ‘GitHub is for uploading Git(s)’, that line is an okay way to teach ‘the difference between Git and GitHub’ to non-technical, non-elderly adults who don’t really need to know what Git is (and don’t work with you or study under you).

That’s an explanation of pretty damn narrow usefulness, to put it generously.

It is pithy and memorable, though.

CanadaPlus,

How often does grandpa ask you what GitHub is?

emptiestplace,

You’re right, we probably should’ve noticed sooner.

spiderplant,

I agree that porn is a nsfw way to explain something in a lot of scenarios but I disagree about people needing to know at least the names of a technology from an explanation.

Most people don’t need to know or care about the names to understand or use them. Knowing the names after I learnt the commands did not give me greater insight into how the tool works.

If they are just being introduced to git and github then they are likely new to programming and have much more important things to care about like learning their first programming language or understanding how their teams project actually works.

A place to host gits is a perfectly good explanation for anyone who is new to it.

merc,

Git is a DVCS. GitHub is a place where DVCS repositories are hosted. There are many other places where DVCS repositories can be hosted, but GitHub is the most famous one… Porn is a type of content. PornHub is a place where porn is hosted. There are many other places where porn can be hosted, but PornHub is the most famous one. It’s a pretty good analogy.

docAvid,

But it’s a categorical error. The analogy is about “git”, not “git repositories” or “DVCS repositories”.

merc,

k

dan,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

There are many other places where DVCS repositories can be hosted

I mean… Everyone that’s cloned the repo has a full copy of it. You could clone it directly off someone else if you wanted to.

merc,

Sure… and you could pass around porn on thumb drives. But, having a central website where you can browse public repos and clone the interesting ones is a pretty key part of Open Source / Free Software development.

dan,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

How many people use Github for discovery though? I usually find interesting projects through a search engine, through word of mouth, through posts on here, etc. at which point it doesn’t really matter where the repo is hosted. A lot of the useful projects I use aren’t even on Github.

As far as I know, Gitea is current working on federation support, which will be great. It’d be like Lemmy where you can browse repos, submit issues, etc from one instance even if the repo is hosted at a different one. Git was really designed for a model like that, not for a centralized one.

spiderplant,

How many people use Pornhub for discovery though? I usually find interesting content through a search engine, through word of mouth, through posts on here, etc. at which point it doesn’t really matter where the porn is hosted. A lot of the useful content I use aren’t even on Pornhub.

Seriously though, I agree with you, githubs value to open source is not it’s discover-ability. Personally I think its value comes from the stability, as much as I’m an advocate for self-hosting I know from the amount of dead links on the internet that we could have lost a lot of projects or at least they would move about as hosts went down.

I quite like the idea of federated gitea, although technically there is already a federated platform for porn if you count Lemmy and/or mastadon.

Mubelotix, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@Mubelotix@jlai.lu avatar

It would have taken 5 minutes at most

I_am_10_squirrels,

On my site’s security nvr, it takes five minutes just to convince it that you want to search a particular camera

Agent641,

But thats 5 minutes of killin’ time they’ll never get back

Valmond,

Yeah, even if it was from the beginning of dawn. No need to check out tape before the guy parked his bike.

heimchen,

My Graphics card/ssd wouldn’t be able to handle the skipping of such big files

BilboBargains, (edited ) in Not mocking cobol devs but yall are severely underpaid for keeping fintech alive

There is no relationship between what you earn and your skill level. If there were, theoretical physics would be a top paying field. The reason is, this is capitalism and we are horrible negotiators. If you want to earn top money in a technical field, the best you can do is insert yourself in a revenue stream. Roles that are critical to revenue like a billing system or associated with a intrinsically valuable commodity e.g. petrochemical, are more lucrative than other similarly skilled professions.

linuxdweeb, (edited )

It feels like blaming everything on capitalism is a Lemmy meme.

EDIT: smh look at all the capitalists smashing the downvote button as if it were a poor.

wildginger,

TIL repeating the definition of capitalism is blaming capitalism

BilboBargains,

It wasn’t capitalists, it was the invisible hand of the market.

bugsmith,

They’re not really blaming capitalism for anything though? They’re just explaining how it works, and they’re right. In a market driven economy, you are paid for having a skill or some knowledge based on the demand of that skill or knowledge and nothing else. In the same way as the quality of your house has little bearing on it’s value when compared to it’s location. Not a criticism of capitalism.

porgamrer, (edited )

SIGH. Capitalism is a fringe conspiracy theory. Next you’ll be claiming that billionaires earn their money through “capital gains” instead of salary, or that every corporation answers to a shadowy cabal of “shareholders” who only care about profit.

Well you won’t fool me. Unlike you, I have educated myself by reading newspapers.

ghostdoggtv, in Programming: The Horror Game

Not really visual anymore innit

ji17br,

Spotlight studio

prettybunnys, in Bug Thread

I’m actually part of a email chain that randomly got created because of a bug on GitHub that created an issue out of nowhere.

Every year for the past decade or so folks pop up, say hi, talk about life, etc.

We’ve celebrated birthdays, graduations, marriages and births and talked about job losses and even death of loved ones.

Thanks random GitHub bug.

Feathercrown,
NewAgeOldPerson,

I thought I had read every xkcd there is. That was beautiful!

Rodeo,

Damn that last panel hits hard lol

IrateAnteater, in You can have anything you wan...

Why limit yourself like that? Just say “All languages”. Depending on how liberally you interpret the word “language”, you know know just about everything.

fl42v,

Fuck programming then, I’ll go read ancient Egyptian or some not-yet-deciphered crap. On the other hand, I bet it’s not that different from APL

APLSC_matrix-3547335466

drcobaltjedi,

My old man told me he took one programming language in college and it was APL. Having looked at APL since becoming a software dev myself, I can understand why he hated it.

It’s just so gross and hard to read

funkless_eck,

On the other hand, which do you prefer, this:


<span style="color:#323232;"> life ← {⊃1 ⍵ ∨.∧ 3 4 = +/ +⌿ ¯1 0 1 ∘.⊖ ¯1 0 1 ⌽¨ ⊂⍵}
</span>

or this:


<span style="color:#323232;"> MODE UNIVERSE = [upb OF class universe, upb OF class universe]BOOL; STRUCT( INT upb, BOOL lifeless, alive, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID init, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)STRING repr, PROC(REF UNIVERSE, INT, INT)VOID insert glider, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID next ) class universe = ( # upb = # 50, # lifeless = # FALSE, # alive = # TRUE, # PROC init = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID: FOR row index FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO init row(self[row index, ]) OD, # PROC repr = # (REF UNIVERSE self)STRING:( FORMAT cell = $b("[]", " ")$, horizon = $"+"n(UPB self)("--")"+"l$; FILE outf; STRING out; associate(outf, out); putf(outf, (horizon, $"|"n(UPB self)(f(cell))"|"l$, self, horizon)); close(outf); out ), # PROC insert glider = # (REF UNIVERSE self, INT row, col)VOID:( self[row-2, col+1]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row-1, col+2]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row, col:col+2]&nbsp;:= (TRUE, TRUE, TRUE ) ), # PROC next = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID:( [0:2, LWB self-1:UPB self+1]BOOL window;  # init row(window[LWB window, ]); window[LWB self, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[LWB self, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= lifeless OF class universe;  window[LWB self, LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[LWB self, ]; FOR row FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO REF []BOOL next row = window[(row+1) MOD 3, ]; IF row NE UPB self THEN next row[LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[row+1, ] ELSE init row(next row) FI; FOR col FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO INT live&nbsp;:= 0;  FOR row FROM row-1 TO row+1 DO REF[]BOOL window row = window[row MOD 3, ]; FOR col FROM col-1 TO col+1 DO IF window row[col] THEN live +:= 1 FI OD OD; self[row, col]&nbsp;:= IF window[row MOD 3, col] THEN live -:=  live = 3 FI OD OD ) );
</span>
fl42v,

Honesty, neither 🤣

dojan,
@dojan@lemmy.world avatar

At that point just go for omniscience.

farsayl,

Too far. I don’t need to know all that.

FQQD, in Every goddamn time
@FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz avatar
samus12345,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Needs more hoodie and random text and numbers being projected onto his face.

sbv, in Always

Alternatively, the first three panels could be answering 734 emails, 6383 slack messages, and avoiding two required trainings.

Jeremyward,

Along with 6 meetings and scrum session

not_woody_shaw,

Multiple scrums for multiple projects.

Ephera, in 4 billion if statements

Now we just need to someone to package it and upload it to NPM.

ArtVandelay,
@ArtVandelay@lemmy.world avatar

What’s another 40 gb of node modules anyway

marcos, in every damn time ...

Trust the author? Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how many dumb mistakes I’ve caught the author doing?

flambonkscious,

They’re getting worse, too

(Assuming my experience is anything to go by)

RIP_Cheems, in Good luck web devs
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

Why would you want this?

rtxn,

(insert image of Mt. Everest)

Because It’s There.

asterfield,

What if your monitor has a bullet hole you want to avoid looking at?

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

Why does your monitor have a bullet hole?

Jerkface, (edited )

Why do you ask so many questions? ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

Why don’t you answer them?

Godnroc,

Because then words like “evidence” and “premeditated” get thrown around.

nossaquesapao, (edited )

Because asking and answering too many questions was exactly how they ended up with a bullet hole in their monitor.

dream_weasel,

Gary Indiana reporting in

slurpeesoforion,

AsK yOuR mOm

leverage,

I came back to my office after the new year’s break and a stray bullet, from I’m assuming celebratory gunfire, was shot through the wall and hit my screen. Admittedly it wasn’t a hole and the screen was totally unusable after, but I’ll be a close n=1.

JJROKCZ,

American schools

hemko,

You don’t?

JJROKCZ,

A good use case for American k-12 IT admins

ouRKaoS,

A bullet hole would be slightly less annoying than the one green dead pixel I have at work.

nucleative,

Possibly to run those strangely shaped outdoor billboard signs

anarchist,
@anarchist@lemmy.ml avatar

to display Java class names on a single line

spader312,

This person gets it

tocopherol,
@tocopherol@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I thought it was surely just a joke but looking at the devices to the right maybe this was due to limited desk space?

Imgonnatrythis,

4th nerve palsy posse has been asking for this for years.

cupcakezealot,
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

in case you use a pear phone as a daily driver

Pregnenolone,

It’s a novelty. I for one deeply love unusually shaped monitors and UXs.

xX_fnord_Xx, (edited )

It could be useful if you live in a submarine that is always emerging/submerging.

baduhai,

Why would you not?

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

Can’t argue with that.

Aasikki,

Could be useful for an interactive art installation or something alike.

AbsoluteChicagoDog,

It’s not about why. It’s about the freedom to do.

Quetzalcutlass, in Let me just move this project to the "unfinished" folder

This is why modding games is great. Most of the hard engine and framework stuff is already done for you, so you get to focus on content creation (the “fun” part).

Still difficult, but it requires a fraction of the time and effort that making a game from scratch would take.

whou,

weird. for me, the “hard engine and framework stuff” is the fun part, while the content creation is not boring, but just very hard for me :P

Th4tGuyII, in Not mocking cobol devs but yall are severely underpaid for keeping fintech alive
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

Who would've thought a sector with gold flowing through its hands would be so stingy when it comes to updating their backend that they'd end up relying on a dying language, and call upon AI to update it for them rather than just paying a competent team to create and rigorously test a new backend in a modern language

aksdb,

One problem is that they need to put a price tag and therefore a timeline on such a project. Due to the complexity and the many unknown unknowns in theses decades worth of accumulated technical debts, no one can properly estimate that. And so these projects never get off and typically die during planning/evaluation when both numbers (cost and time) climb higher and higher the longer people think about it.

IMO a solution would be to do it iteratively with a small team and just finish whenever. Upside: you have people who know the system inside-out at hand all the time should something come up. Downside of course is that you have effectively no meaningful reporting on when this thing is finished.

the_of_and_a_to, in ifn't

I like “unless” in Ruby

JPDev,

unlessn’t

Goun,

I’m sorry, I hate the “unless” so much

NotSteve_,

At one of my first jobs, I was tasked to rewrite a bunch of legacy Perl scripts in Python and the unless lines always made me trip up. I don’t know why but it really messed with my mental flow when reading Perl code

marcos,

The Perl version of it is even greater!

EnderMB,

I haven’t written any Ruby for years, but I still praise it in every conversation I have regarding programming languages. It’s basically a much simpler Python, with some design ideas that are both beautiful and deeply strange.

OskarAxolotl,

Ruby was designed to evoke joy and they absolutely succeeded. Usually, programming is mostly a means to an end to me. But using Ruby just feels so amazing, it’s almost impossible to even describe to somebody who has never used it before.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • programmer_humor@programming.dev
  • localhost
  • All magazines
  • Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #

    Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 134217728 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 18878464 bytes) in /var/www/kbin/kbin/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/Profiler/FileProfilerStorage.php on line 171

    Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 134217728 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 10502144 bytes) in /var/www/kbin/kbin/vendor/symfony/error-handler/Resources/views/logs.html.php on line 36