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KingJalopy

@KingJalopy@lemm.ee

I’m the king. Of jalopies.

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KingJalopy,
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Sometimes cyanide and happiness knocks it out of the park and this is a home run for sure LMAO.

KingJalopy,
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I use a q-tip with a little bit of alcohol on it. Rub very carefully over the speaker part. I remove the flexible earpiece part and just rinse that out in the sink. I usually do it once a week because my ears get kind of waxy.

KingJalopy,
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I’d like a link please!

KingJalopy,
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Thanks!

KingJalopy,
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I usually put on one of darkness prevails compilation videos from YouTube. The dude is a prolific poster and has probably hundreds of five plus hour long videos which are just audio with a screenshot for the video. I don’t even particularly care about the spooky scary stories or creepypasta or whatever the hell it’s called, but something about that dude’s voice and the way he reads those stories just knocks me out. Although I can’t recommend it for everybody because it could end up giving you really fucked up dreams.

KingJalopy,
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Like, “I don’t get it.”

KingJalopy,
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This happened too a stray kitten I found years ago. She had gotten pregnant and this happened. We had to put her down.

KingJalopy,
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It’s that like “in, hold, out”?

KingJalopy,
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If I ever told my dad, “are you shitting me?”, he’d reply with, “I’d never shit you, you’re my favorite turd.”

KingJalopy, (edited )
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Actually I’ve had a bad case of covid for like 4 days now and haven’t been able to breathe out of my nose. While not technically nose drugs, I took one of my wife’s Adderall and like magic I’m breathing through my nose again. Still feel terrible and can’t sleep now but I’m no longer a mouth breather. I couldn’t sleep last night because my mouth would dry out every 5 minutes so bad I’d have to take a drink of water every few minutes then pee.

KingJalopy,
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Not if you wrap it before you tap it

PC died. Trying the legal options.

And fuck. I really miss plex. I’ve had Netflix and Hulu forever as family won’t let me cancel. Decided to sign up to Paramount + for some Trek. Twice in lower decks it didn’t save my watched episodes. Doesn’t mark episode as watched if you exit during the credits. And multiple playback issues....

KingJalopy,
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What is so difficult about just providing a decent service for a fair price?

Nothing. It’s just not profitable.

KingJalopy, (edited )
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Just pick 7-10 daily meals you intend to make on your own and buy only what it takes to make those things. I never throw food out, but only because I only buy what I know my family will eat. Then every 1-1 5 weeks I buy that again.

KingJalopy,
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If done successfully she’ll never know

KingJalopy,
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But for a potential loss of $0.25 they can suddenly self govern.

KingJalopy,
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We usually just say school appropriate or not

KingJalopy,
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Got “mugged” in Amsterdam.

It was our last day in the city and had our backpacks on walking around like tourists in the wrong part of town. A crackhead saw us walking towards him and he stood up, pulled something out of his pocket and then walked directly into me. 100% on purpose.

He then very dramatically threw what I now knew was a crack pipe against the alley wall and yelled at me, “You stupid fucking American. You broke my crack pipe. You owe me crack! There was $15 worth of crack in that pipe!” I wasn’t having any of that, this was obviously a setup. I was about to kick his scrawny crackhead ass when he pulled out a tiny, I mean tiny little pocket knife at which point my buddy started laughing his ass off. Right before I was about to knock the hell out of this guy, one of the locals came up pulled on my collar whispered in my ear, “Just throw some change on the ground. You’re a foreigner. You will be the one to go to jail.”

I thought that was reasonable so I pulled about 75 cents worth of euros out of my pocket and threw it on the ground. At that point the alleged mugger got into a huge fist fight with about five other crackheads while they fought over the change I threw on the ground. They completely forgot about me and my friend so we just walked away. What was really funny was later that day we were in a different part of the town near the train station waiting for our train to the airport. That same motherfucker walks by looking for a target and I had to think real long and hard about what I was going to do. In the end I said fuck it and just left it alone.

On that same trip we went through Luxembourg. We were looking at the sites and there’s this big valley in the middle of the city with a park at the bottom and we were standing on this bridge filming and this guy just jumps off and falls at least 100 maybe 200 ft to his death. Me and my friend are freaking out and cannot believe we just saw somebody kill themselves. We are yelling for help and some guy who obviously lived there casually walks up and tells us, “First time here? This happens all the time. Luxembourg is a very fucking depressing place to live.” Then he just casually walked on. We couldn’t believe that shit. It was so run of the mill everyday business, nothing for these people. Just another guy had thrown himself off the suicide bridge. No biggie.

KingJalopy,
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They started MDMA at the age of 15

KingJalopy,
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I’m 41. I’ve been active on the Internet since 1994, and will continue to be until I’m dead or the Internet dies. Roll of the dice as to which will happen first I guess.

What is your unpopular flim opinion

I’ll go first. Mine is that I can’t stand the Deadpool movies. They are self aware and self referential to an obnoxious degree. It’s like being continually reminded that I am in a movie. I swear the success of that movie has directly lead to every blockbuster having to have a joke every 30 seconds

KingJalopy,
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Hot take right here

KingJalopy,
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I imagined the fuck out of 3 perfect onions, but then I imagined 3 perfect tomatoes. Please don’t tell onions.

KingJalopy,
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That’s fine. Your memes also sit on my conscience lol.

KingJalopy,
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Fuck yeah!

KingJalopy,
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Will be before too long if it doesn’t go on a diet

KingJalopy,
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Sounds like they had plenty of money to reinvest into the business. Good food is good food just goes to show you people don’t really care as long as they get what they want.

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