@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

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Kolanaki,
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Mmmm… Baby back ribs. 🤤

Kolanaki,
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Now give me a thrusting animation so I can stand on boxes in front of NPCs and slap them with my floppy dongus.

What happened to the PC games (or what happened to consoles)?

I got out of video game piracy for a while, but I’m coming back. One thing I have been absolutely SHOCKED by is how finding PC game torrents is actually kind of difficult from my normal sources. Now it’d be one thing if I just wasn’t seeing games, but for some reason Playstation and Switch have far more uploaders and...

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I only have problems finding PC games that use Denovu that haven’t been cracked. For obvious reasons. Even finding super niche indie content is relatively easy on most big trackers.

Kolanaki,
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This. Right here. Chats, forums. “Social media.”

Hate being around people; somehow can’t get enough of talking with them. Via text, anyway.

Kolanaki,
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All of them? No.

My messaging apps get to notify me. Everything else gets to fuck off.

Kolanaki,
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Someone didn’t read the label that said to wash the ship in cold water only and shrank the fucker.

Kolanaki,
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Many places in the South. Swamps. Farmland. Etc.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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If you live somewhere that’s consistently 98-100% humidity: Air cooling is simultaneously liquid cooling.

Kolanaki,
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Why does this dude look like a real life Syndrome?

Kolanaki,
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I don’t say “when” until there is a mountain of cheese 2 feet high on my plate. And I sit there watching the plate in awkward silence the entire time.

Kolanaki,
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I remember being on a cub scout camping trip and while our group was on a hike, we passed a little creek and there was some kind of foam building up at a spot where the water narrowed and got agitated around and some kid just yells “ew is that deer cum?” A few of us (myself included) laughed and some of the other kids were like “what is cum?” Which just made us laugh even harder while the adults tried to just get everyone moving again.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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3 isn’t so bad when you compare it to everything after it. The way Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry met Lloyd is great when compared to Dumb and Dumber 2, but not with Dumb and Dumber.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Jay is more than likely a person, because I don’t think the kids are trying to bring back the old slang “jay” which was a somewhat derogatory term meaning “rube” given the context here.

Kolanaki,
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I feel like Jack Black from School of Rock. Except I can’t play guitar.

Kolanaki,
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Exactly. This isn’t anyone’s grampa.

It’s their great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grampa.

Kolanaki,
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I can’t remember if it was Voyager or DS9, but something I caught recently watching one of 'em was about a Vulcan night club having a Pon’farr night and I need to know what the fuck that’s all about.

Vulcan night club? That sounds like an oxymoron.

Pon’farr night? Is everyone horned up and just fucking on the dance floor?

Kolanaki,
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Disgustingly delicious

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Oh. My. God.

You’re a genius!

I’m sure you could make a corn dog analogue that’s close enough without cornmeal based batter. Heck, use breakfast sausage, dip in pancake batter, deep fry. Best pigs in a blanket ever. 🤤

Kolanaki,
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But I’m going to need a drink.

Wash those 7 corn dogs down with an entire 2-liter of Coca-Cola.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I grabbed a corn dog the other day from AM/PM and the cashier asked if I wanted mustard or ketchup and then when I said no thank you, gave me a look like I had grown a second head.

I like the corn dog. It’s not just a sauce conveyance vessel. And I only sometimes eat the stick too.

Kolanaki,
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You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom and I don’t care who knows it!

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Someone call I.T. in here.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Durass! Pull the lever!

Computer: A WARP CORE BREACH IS IMMINENT.

WRONG LEVER!

Kolanaki,
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I was in the top 0.5% of time listened; but I play a relaxing sounds playlist when I sleep so it feels like cheating.

Kolanaki,
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Whoa what? 🥺

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