Does the word “nagging” really suggest she’s bad when there’s needs to be a transactional economy where he only contributes to the care of his child after trading in his good boy points for a tendies a blowjob?
I hope some of the folks in this thread get the partner they deserve.
Relationships are a two way street, and dynamics like this are pretty common. It’s sometimes called over/under functioning or codependency in substance abuse. It could be the over functioner just tore the other person down, or the under functioner was susceptible already or drew it out of the over functioner. I agree it’s really difficult to know based on limited data, and all we can say is this is strange and comes across as infantilizing but if it works for them then whatever tbh. Not my relationship to care about
Alright, I’m sure the big boy that needs a sticker chart for washing the dishes and taking care of his children is the mature one in the relationship, you right, she’s probably in the wrong here.
You assume he “needs” a sticker chart when just as easily the wife could be trying to get him to do all of it instead of his share. That’s your bias showing.
Plus this inhumane and soul destroying regardless.
Who the fuck makes a sticker chart with BJs and naked hula dances?
Based on the evidence I’ve seen, women do tend to bear more of the cognitive load of running a household in our society. Can you share any evidence that says otherwise? I’d love to learn.
I haven’t done that much research, but a quick Google scholar search suggests that it’s a pretty gendered issue.
We’ve established that the task of maintaining on a household typically falls on women in our society.
We have an example here of a sticker chart being used to encourage a man to take care of his child.
You’re saying I’m biased for thinking that the man needs this chart.
Nah, bruh, I’m just looking at the data and drawing conclusions.
Sure, there are exceptions, but when we lack any other indicators of exceptions, it’s safe to assume societal roles carry over. Making any other assumption is ironically letting YOUR personal biases show.
If I tell you 7/10 balls in a box are red, 3/10 are blue, and ask you to guess the color of a ball I’m grabbing from the box, what’re you going to guess? Red.
I’m pretty sure this sticker chart is fake anyways, but it’s the reaction of folks to this that’s surprising.
We have 3 indoor/outdoor cats because we’ve just always had indoor/outdoor cats and I never really thought about it.
Being on more cat-related Reddit and Lemmy communities, I’ve seen more and more of the arguments for keeping cats as indoor-only, and it’s been making me think more about how to care for cats we adopt.
From what I’ve seen of the discussions, a lot of them seem to center around urban areas and towns, where there’s a high population density. Some arguments also seem to be based off the assumption that the pets aren’t spayed or neutered.
We live in the middle of nowhere and all our cats are fixed as soon as possible (we’ve had kittens sometimes and they stay inside until then).
Is there different logic for this situation, or is it the same advice to always keep them indoors?
I think we have coyotes around, but I can only remember 1 or 2 cats disappearing, and I assumed it was because they were old and didn’t want to die inside.
The “catio” idea people have been bringing up seems like it’s worth a try, but we need to get our deck repaired for that I think.
If you have a big enough space and want to make a sun room for human use, Ive seen lots of sun room modifications that make little side slots for cat lounging and climbing.
And feeders for local wildlife nearby give them free reality tv
Afaik, the best is to give them enough space but it should be enclosed. They pose a threat to wildlife to some extent, and some of the wildlife can harm them, besides an obvious possibility of being traumatised or lost.
Not all cats are killing machines but with 3, chances are at least one of them is. On the other hand, an outdoor life is probably much more fulfilling for a cat.
At a minimum, make sure they have bells around their collar so it warns the local wildlife.
You know, I actually thought about trying to make a product that would have a camera on the cats head and beep aggressively the moment it would detect a bird.
There’s one theory that outdoor cats could be what allows the avian flu to become transmissible to humans which would cause a worldwide pandemic comparable to the black plague in terms of death toll. So there’s that.
Obviously there’s the safety aspect of keeping them indoors, they usually live longer. Aside from that, they’re also extremely efficient killing machines. The damage outside cats do to native animal populations is huge.
Outdoor cats are the number one killer of native species. They have contributed to the extinction of numerous species. Not to mention there are coyotes, cougars, bears, and hawks that can harm or even kill your cat. Outdoor cats also are a vector for diseases and parasites that can seriously harm them, or humans.
Pets should be kept indoors, for their safety, for the safety of the environment, and for your safety.
Are these cats native (or naturalised) to your local ecosystem? If wherever you live has had cats for a hundred years or so, the local wildlife would have adapted to them. Otherwise, cats can damage the local ecosystem.
Do you rely on the cats to suppress vermin (rats, squirrels, small birds, etc.)? Even if your cats aren’t actively killing them, their mere ‘patrolling’ can drive these pests away. But if you keep them indoors, you lose this protection.
Are there any local predators that are particularly good at catching cats?
If your answers are yes, yes and no, then let your cats out. If they are no, no and yes, keep them in as far as possible.
I’m not really sure how long housecats have been around in this area. I think historically there were a lot of farms here (in the 1800s) so they may have had cats, but I don’t have historical data.
We didn’t get cats to hunt down mice, but it’s pretty rare that we see them, and it’s an old farmhouse, so maybe we’re relying on their hunting implicitly? I’ve occasionally seen them catch and eat mice around the yard, and sometimes they bring one to the door to show off.
There are supposedly coyotes around, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one here, and we’ve only ever had cats just disappear a couple times, and they were already 17-19. The bigger danger seems to be other outdoor cats (not sure if they’re feral or not) that one of ours occasionally fights with, but the vet knows they go outdoors, and they’re up-to-date on all their shots.
but it’s pretty rare that we see them, and it’s an old farmhouse, so maybe we’re relying on their hunting implicitly?
The presence of your cats is probably keeping the mice away.
The bigger danger seems to be other outdoor cats
Cats have their territories and defend them aggressively. Make sure your cats are spayed, but from what I’ve seen even this doesn’t reduce aggression in females.
I suspect the middle of nowhere might be worse given that the wilife there might not see a lot of cats normally and could have more vulnerable populations. Probably depends where you live, but if it has rare wildlife you don’t see much elsewhere your kitty is possibly bad news for them. Also depending on where you live the wildlife can be dangerous for tje cat too. Eagles and snakes are a worry.
Unless you live in the native original range for cats, and your local region has zero automobiles, and you have no issue paying vet bills for random illness or parasite infections, then sure. Its probably not that big a risk to let your cat out unsupervised.
Brits are very arrogantly incorrect about their cat care. They are driving local wildcats extinct, and feeding their pets to local foxes, badgers, and car wheels.
You can still supplement outdoor time for your cat tho. Harness/leash training isnt too difficult, just go in areas you dont expect dog walkers. And you can also build catios, outdoor spaces that are fenced in.
Imagine a world where everyone goes to sleep as soon as they are done with work, and saves their groggy end-of-day hours for work. Unfortunately, society has chosen the opposite.
There was a BBC documentary a few years ago where they gave GPS tracking collars to a bunch of cats in a neighbourhood and tracked where they went. Each of the cats had their own territory and favourite locations.
I loved that doc! It was fascinating seeing the vast differences in territory. I remember one cat who travelled something like a mile back and forth every day on a really narrow area. There was also a pair of cats that had worked out a little territory share amongst themselves, patrolling the same area but always 12 hours apart from each other.
Murder local wildlife, cause property damage to neighbors, kill neighbors pets, spread disease. Roaming cats suck, and so do their entitled owners who think that everyone’s property belongs to their pet
While we’re at it, let’s get rid of birds that shit on everything, deer that eat our gardens, raccoons that get in our trash, skunks that dig up our grass …
They brought up how cats disturb the ecosystem and spread disease. You brought up how other animals can disturb people’s capital. These two are not equivalent.
It’s entitled of YOU too think that the land, plants, wildlife, and ecology these creatures have lived off of for millennia belong to you. We all share a planet, it’s not up to humans to be the arbiters of who can have what and how much and at what time etc etc .
Cats may not be sapient animals, but they are sentient.
No, sorry. We’ve unintentionally thrown so much of the world off balance by importing creatures that were never in certain places, that we must bear responsibility to bring things back to the balance they were at before we got there, particularly now that we know better.
If that’s not possible, we’ll do our best to get there. Where are the dodos, buddy? Keep your stupid cats indoors, and stop bothering the local ecosystem more than we already have.
we must bear responsibility to bring things back to the balance they were at before we got there
The idea that nature was in some sort of balance before humans came along is a common misconception. Most ecosystems are dynamic, and change over time. What we are doing is accelerating that change to a dangerous level.
This might seem like an academic distinction, but many conservationists have caused more harm than good by trying to ‘freeze’ ecosystems at a state that existed at some fixed point in the past. I believe it was George Monbiot who pointed out that the margins of many British roads had higher plant and insect diversity than many ‘protected’ areas.
Or, see the wildfires in North America, caused largely by prevention of natural wildfires, resulting in a century of surplus of dead organic matter and primed with climate change-induced drought.
Friend, cool it with the pedagogy. If one understands the idea of ecosystems at multiple scales, it follows implicitly that one understands the systems are inherently dynamic.
The point still stands: we’ve got to understand the environs we’ve rapidly destabilized and do something to limit our negative influence. Ergo: keeping stupid cats indoors helps the stressed systems by reducing the load caused by a bored apex predator.
Oops I forgot my point in saying all that, which was that if cats have become naturalised to your local ecosystem, then removing them could make things worse. (And by the way, cats are not apex predators.)
By the way, actually, an apex is also known as the summit or peak of a curve, which domestic cats can generally be considered as they are rarely (though not never) predated upon. Wasn’t clear that you understood that, but now you do!
Cats are not apex predators. They have predators in both their natural range and some of their introduced ranges. Cats bury their poop (probably) so they don’t broadcast their presence to any nearby predators.
Blah blah blah, legally your cat is your PROPERTY. And if your pet becomes my pest on MY property, it will be dealt with as such. I don’t live in the wild, I live in my home on my property, keep your shit bag cat off of mine.
I guess some cats love to piss on doors but I don’t think much if any property damage is being done by pet cats. I don’t think I have ever heard of a cat kiling a pet either.
Cats should be indoor only because they are murder hobos when it comes to wild birds and small animals.
Spreading diesease I can’t comment on. What diesease do cats kept as pets spread?
Roaming pet cats scratch screen doors, destroy door mats, piss on doors, shit in gardens, kill wildlife for sport, fight other cats, catch diseases from other cats (pet and feral), get pregnant, get hit by cars, get mauled by dogs. All of these things happen even in countries where cats are “native”.
Find/replace cat/human. You are a clown to even deign to compare the negative environmental impact of a fucking cat to what we have done to everything we touch as a species
My neighbors cats used to wreck my herb garden and such. One of them once tried to rip through my window screen to get inside my house and get my pet parrot. I would have made that cat disappear if he had gotten in, and his owner would have never known what happened, and that would be their own fault
Can you imagine if dog owners just opened the door at night, and let their dogs fuck off to do whatever? They’d rightly be charged and have their pets taken away
A few times after sleeping well, I can actually wake up in the morning and get significant things done involving an outing for breakfast, and feel like I’m midway through my day at a time I’d usually be waking up. It’s hard to build up to that point though.
lemm.ee
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