ULS,

Benjamin shouldn’t have been so weak and naive. A pawn to the game.

Slovene,

Oh, I thought it was gonna be a period joke.

Landsharkgun,

W I T N E S S M E

Smokeydope,
@Smokeydope@lemmy.world avatar

The older I get, the more I believe that life is really about enjoyment, not longevity. We are here to have fun and burn brightly, not live to be 120 years old and hate 50 years of it. Whats the point of busting loads against the wall for decades and doing nothing but surviving?

ULS, (edited )

Societies marketing of long life is creepy AF. I’m in my 30s and all I can see is the negative of how the world works. To entertainment myself and ignore the harshness of reality just makes me want to leave sooner. It feels so cowardly to have to live so helplessly in a world you know is wrong.

ArmoredThirteen,

I’m going to die tragically young at 137, too soon, but it’ll be super bright and fun

MeatPilot,
@MeatPilot@lemmy.world avatar
pinkdrunkenelephants,

No one camps anymore? 🤔

Lemjukes,

Jesus fuck that was upsetting

EtherWhack,
@EtherWhack@lemmy.world avatar

;_;7

billwashere,

Well fuck… now I’m gonna be sad every time I light my charcoal grill…

TheFriar,

Really? I thought it was touching.

Slovene,

No, that’s catholic school.

ULS,

Catholic school is very hands-on.

ULS, (edited )

Yeah, okay Friar Tuck.

billwashere,

It was. But I have several boys off in college that I rarely hear from… just hits a little hard.

MrBusiness,

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

TheFriar,

Ah. Understandable. My girl is sitting on my leg right now.

And she’s a cat.

But I get it.

fleabomber,
@fleabomber@lemmy.world avatar

I bet there’d be different dialogue if the matches could feel pain.

TheHowTM,
@TheHowTM@lemmings.world avatar
ech,

Humans feel pain, but we don’t feel the oxidation happening in us constantly. I’d say it’s more about what you’re built for rather than strictly a concept of pain.

schism, (edited )

A lot more wholesome than I expected

samus12345, (edited )
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Hans Christian Andersen wouldn’t have ended it there.

platypus_plumba, (edited )

— Benjamin, grab your brothers, don’t let them take you!

— Ahhh!! Brothers hold me, hooold meee!

— Benjamin nooo!

— Forgive me son, they are about to…

— What are they doing? ×chhsk× AHHHHHHHHH!!!

— BENJAMINNN!!!

— AAAHHHHHHHhhhhhh…

Is that what you wanted?

skippedtoc,

Yup, much better than original.

ULS,

Fuck that Disney shit.

Kolanaki, (edited )
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

“What is my purpose?”

“You help people get cancer by lighting their cigarettes, cigars, and pipes and occasionally arsonists burning down orphanages.”

“Oh my God.”

MrJameGumb,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

Do people still light their cigarettes with matches though? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen anyone even own matches outside of a survival kit lol

Xanthrax,
@Xanthrax@lemmy.world avatar

Some liquor stores will give you matches if you ask, for free. It’s not terribly common, but it’s helpful if you’re a smoker and your lighter runs out.

yuriy,

I used to use em for a bong because it seemed real cool at the time.

NaibofTabr,
odium,

I use them for lighting up lamps

JusticeForPorygon, (edited )
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

My grandpa used to keep cheap disposable matchbooks with him to light his pipe, the matches inside were basically paper, and I could never figure out how he lit them because every time I tried they would break or bend.

ysjet, (edited )

You hold the match with your index and middle finger, pinch the matchhead between your thumb and the striker, pull, and then just pull your thumb back before it actually gets hot.

Leaves you in a perfect position to block and wind with your palm/thumb. Just gotta be quick or you get burnt- or just have tough hands.

Then you just pinch the matchhead with your thumb/ring finger to put it out.

rockSlayer,

My trick is to fold the flap over top the match and lightly squeeze.

MrJameGumb,
@MrJameGumb@lemmy.world avatar

It took me a lot of practice back when I used to use them lol a lot of the time I would fold over the back of the matchbook and strike the match between the sides of the cover

klemptor,

Yup this is how I do it too

RedAggroBest,

Pretty sure this is the intended way too

GoosLife,

I know a lot of people who use them to light their fireplaces, since you just kinda prop it in there and leave it, which is unwise to do with a lighter.

grue,

Barbeque pitmasters in shambles

Diprount_Tomato, (edited )
@Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

People who light up candles: 😟

oce,
@oce@jlai.lu avatar

Candles are actually bad for your home air and so are open wood fires, despite their romantic image. theguardian.com/…/too-many-smelly-candles-heres-h…

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Birthdays don’t exist. That’s a myth made up by Big Cake to get people to buy more cake.

lugal,

Big if true

OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe,

…you guys don’t use long stick lighters to light birthday candles, so as to not burn yourself when lighting 30 of those sumbitches?

Diprount_Tomato,
@Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

No. 🗿

MrBusiness, (edited )

Rechargeable electric lighter, baybee!

Edit: Also 2 pack of 0-9 reusable cake toppers

helpImTrappedOnline,

Nah, I just use my Spaceballs The Flame Thrower, the kids love that one.

killeronthecorner,
@killeronthecorner@lemmy.world avatar

Really want a big cake now

SuckMyWang, (edited )

I’m sorry but you’ve been fooled. It’s not big cake, it’s actually big candle. Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy while they destroyed peoples lives from the shadows. Tell everyone.

I didn’t kill myself.

DragonTypeWyvern,

Of course you didn’t!

Falling out of the window was an accident.

VikingHippie,

Big cake was just a decoy for big candle so people would focus their attention on an invisible enemy

…where are you getting invisible cakes? 🤔

can,

On the bright side he can get some relief in knowing he’s taking them down with him.

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