lemmyshitpost

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GombeenSysadmin, in Eww

I once thought I had snuck a small one out at the supermarket. I realised it was evil and slid away. A family came up the stairs from the car park right into it. Amid wailing and bashing of teeth from the teenagers, I heard the dad say, “that’s a stink bomb, you can tell by the smell.”

One of the proudest moments of my life.

itsAsin, in Italian province orders all dogs to be DNA tested in poo crackdown
@itsAsin@lemmy.world avatar

when i encounter a dog turd on the sidewalk, i usually imagine force-feeding it to the nasty owner who left it there. it makes me super angry.

OhFudgeBars,

For my part, I’m thinking of carrying a bag full of signs that say “Shame!” that I can put next to the offending excrement. Both to shame whoever’s responsible, but also everyone else can watch their step.

XEAL, (edited ) in Eww

You walked into your own fart, rookie mistake

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

No u

GBU_28,

Walks to desk, farts.

Sits down.

Wtf.

mavu, in Feel the bass

Ok, serious question: Would this not have been more funny wirh the text: “AirPods. Now with subwoofer.”

0x4E4F, (edited )
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Actually, the plug-in part makes it funnier… cuz it’s butt plug.

inclementimmigrant, in Feel the bass

I could see Apple getting Chess grandmaster Hans Niemann to promote this.

flatpandisk, (edited ) in Eww

Worse try a body odor cloud, not fun

Edit: fix my crappy spelling, make sure my odor is in order

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

I hope the body is in order

flatpandisk,

:) fixed

sxan, in Just Bill-t different
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

My head canon is that this was many people, over time, not one person.

tdawg, in life hacks

You missed the part where you zone out and replay arguments you had years ago. But this time you’re smarter and always win

Thermal_shocked,

I don’t always win, but I learn from the mistakes. Like watching football play footage lol

CaptainDongus, in Feel the bass

So, buttplug.io connected to a Bluetooth buttplug, using software that changes the strength output based on audio files.

You can do this right now. Become the future you want to see.

Imgonnatrythis, in Eww

They really should call a fart code in aisle 3 and have someone clean that up fast. As Long as that sucker lingers there no one is buying anything in that aisle.

zaphod, (edited ) in Me IRL
@zaphod@lemmy.ca avatar

Cuz I have restless leg syndrome and when it’s bad it won’t let me sleep otherwise (RLS is sometimes treated with a dopamine agonist).

THE_ANON, in well grounded

The guy who worked tirelessly to get promoted to that office .

NoSpiritAnimal, in Just Bill-t different
@NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world avatar

Accused/Convicted sex offender row on the bottom there

dudinax,

Bill Murray? Say it ain’t so.

Klear, (edited )

Bill Stickers is innocent!

NarrativeBear, in life hacks

Going through the car wash with the windows down is really the best way to hit these all at once.

Octopus1348,
@Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

You should also wash the laptop while checking emails (with Windows down)

NarrativeBear,

How else do you clean a laptop of its viruses?

Thermal_shocked,

Whiskey

yamanii, in Me IRL
@yamanii@lemmy.world avatar

Yes

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