lemmyshitpost

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JustMy2c, in Always slackin cause I'd rather be quackin

I do not agree with your sentiment, but I will fight to defend your right to jump in the creek and eat duck weed all day.

SnokenKeekaGuard,
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Will you fight me for bread?

Isakk86,

Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that they could not do that, like there was some speical rule at Subway that two pieces of bread weren’t allowed to touch. So the woman asked me what I wanted on the sandwich and I said I do not care, it is for a duck, and she was like oh then it’s free. I was not aware that ducks eat for free at Subway. It’s like give me a chicken fajita sub, but don’t worry about ringing it up, it is for a duck!

-Mitch Hedburg

SnokenKeekaGuard,
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

They’re terrible for us, don’t give us bread.

RGB3x3,

Can ducks eat burritos? It would be a shame if they can’t eat burritos.

JustMy2c,

Anything is better as the disgusting excuse for bread that subway serves.

THAT IS NOT BREAD. should be illegal in Europe…

Kefass, in Georgia

Pluto is a planet

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

But why not :(

Agility0971, in Better stock up on this before SHTF
@Agility0971@lemmy.world avatar

*stirr untill fully evaporated

don, in Nature is so bitchin'!

It seems those born in the US are immune.

AdamBomb, in Teenage boys everywhere are lining up to see this movie...

Don’t put your dick in that

sag,

No!! Why you warn me :(

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Or maybe do put your dick in that.

LemmyKnowsBest,

let’s get real though, what is the male anatomical girth diameter required in order to get any pleasure out of that sand bucket hole.

Not gonna happen

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Not with that attitude.

baggins, in Clone this woman, ASAP!!!

That still doesn’t mean she’ll go into a relationship with you OP.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

But there is a chance… hope dies last.

unreachable, in Better stock up on this before SHTF
@unreachable@lemmy.world avatar
samus12345,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar
don, in Better stock up on this before SHTF

It’s a novelty item, it’s available on amazon.

WarmSoda,

Is Bernard Food Industries a gag item company, or is using them part of the joke?
If you call the 1800 number on the can its actually thier number.

kautau,

It appears to be an elaborate prank company, as they have a big website detailing many offerings, but some of them are like bad photoshops and the like

bernardfoods.com/…/fruitflavoredbeveragemix5x5sug…

Worx, in Always slackin cause I'd rather be quackin

This is why I unironically support free and easy access to assisted suicide for everyone. There would need to be a months-long vetting procedure with professionals, but part of freedom is being able to opt out

andxz,

You get to be a duck if you commit suicide?

Worx,

As my mum always said, you don’t know if you don’t try it

reverendsteveii, in Always slackin cause I'd rather be quackin

when one feels like a duck, one is happy…

SnokenKeekaGuard,
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

And when two feel like ducks, two are happy together ❤️

RGB3x3,

QUACK QUACK!

ieightpi, (edited ) in Better stock up on this before SHTF

I love the old timey weathered look is a nice touch

FlihpFlorp, in Maybe not the best valentine sentiment?

Minus the heart crusher (teeny tiny design flaw just a little one) part my GF would absolutely love a trex for valentines day

Tetsuo, in Better stock up on this before SHTF

Wouldn’t that be a can with a minuscule amount of minerals in it ?

MacNCheezus,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar

Depends on whether it’s spring water or distilled.

synae,
@synae@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

Spring water… Now I’m imagining the old peanut brittle/spring snakes gag when opening the can.

MacNCheezus,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar

ha, gottem

can,

Huh, now that you mention it I’m sure that exists.

Serinus, in Always slackin cause I'd rather be quackin

I too want to be a drunk. I think it’s something I can accomplish.

SnokenKeekaGuard,
@SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Duck sir I said duck

Serinus,

Oh. Right. Well that’s more difficult. Maybe I’ll stay with drunk.

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

If you get drunk enough, you might think you’re a duck.

Ziglin, in This is too relatable

Ah yes parents teaching their kids to drive at 16 and scary traffic, this can only be the US…

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