lemmyshitpost

This magazine is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted, in Friendly Reminder
@EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Look out, the Ents are on a rampage.

EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted, in Niko it's your cousin
@EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

This is fantastic & I love it, but having looked at this at work, I have say tag this as NSFW next time please. Lol.

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

You don’t bowl at work? I’m sorry.

tias,

If it’s not safe for work, then how can there be staff working at the bowling alley, hmm?

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Right?

EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted,
@EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I’m sorry too, friend.

6daemonbag, in Poseidon why

Imagine being the first one to use a fresh porta potty. No smell, other than that blue chemical water down at the bottom. It’s so damn clean.

“Great!” you exclaim with excitement. So you sit down on that smooth dry toilet seat and, relaxing, a tremendous donker just falls right out of you.

The mass is too great. The distance. The speed and acceleration. It isn’t even a second of time, but you know. You know.

GaTHUNK

A cold blue kiss races towards the moon. A moon so relaxed the single crater yawns beckoningly wide. The kiss forms into a dull spear, racing towards the darkened maw. It enters beyond the shadow. Fully into the heavenly body. Cold meets heat.

You yelp in shock. There is cold artificially blue water deep in your butthole. The sudden tension passes and as your muscles relax again, some of that cold drains back down to earth. A light shower.

You were looking forward to this festival all year and you spend the entire time distractedly thinking in shame about how something so fortuitous turned to disaster in moments. You didn’t bring a change of underwear. Why would you?

flambonkscious,

Thanks, that was a great read…

I sorta feel the need to scrape myself clean after, but it was worth it

6daemonbag,

This actually happened to me. I spent the whole day imagining how blue my ass was, too distracted to truly enjoy myself. Obviously I told everyone because I also thought it was funny but… UGH

imPastaSyndrome, in Niko it's your cousin

Is there a blue m&m eating yellows ass?

TimewornTraveler, (edited )

yea it’s got face

The_Eminent_Bon, in Edge....

So am I duckduckgoing while vivalding and lemming?

FilthyShrooms, in When she's crying over a guy
@FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world avatar

Why you crying over him, his name is literally Greg

obinice, in An elegant drill for all tasks
@obinice@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah I’ve got one of these, bloody handy things!

Pinklink, in Poseidon why

And it’s always non-consensual

RizzRustbolt, in A murder at the church

More likely rooks than crows.

LemmyKnowsBest, in An elegant drill for all tasks

mmmm tomato rice

but that machine looks more useful for plowing orifices than for opening a can of Campbells soup

gears, in A murder at the church

Everyone knows they’re eyes for the Dark One

LemmyKnowsBest, in What's up doc? That's a very oink carrot you got there, doc?

I’ll take edging please, but can we replace the R in that acronym with “Really attractive men?”

chaosppe, in Poseidon why
@chaosppe@lemmy.world avatar

Inside? Are you gaping? 😂

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

If the turd is big enough to cause the water to splash up your butt, it’s probably also big enough to leave you wide open.

Scubus,

Vulnerable yes, sphincterless no

umbrella,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

i mean he just took a shit

TSG_Asmodeus, in What's up doc? That's a very oink carrot you got there, doc?

I thought it was First Encounter Assault Recon.

zanyllama52,
@zanyllama52@infosec.pub avatar

I knew it wasn’t just me. I don’t typically go for horror themed games, but this series worked.

abbadon420, in Sorry guys

Pics or didn’t happen

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
  • localhost
  • All magazines
  • Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #