lemmyshitpost

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toomanypancakes, in No excuses
@toomanypancakes@lemmy.world avatar

Okay fine, geez. Everybody trying to get me working out.

There.

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

And cut down on the pancakes

Shiggles,

Or don’t and just do

~100 calories for a medium pancake

~0.36 calories per pushup(all of this is googled and blindly trusted)

=277 pushups per pancake.

Totally worth it!

sartalon, in I don't know how to title this

NSFW?

Octopus1348,
@Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of people calling the police together because of this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

Annoyed_Crabby, in No excuses

I’m lazy. Should be a good excuse.

toomanypancakes, in Hey, the A.I said it not me.
@toomanypancakes@lemmy.world avatar

If only I looked average

iAvicenna, (edited )
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

I too, am surprised, how much below I am of the average teen vampire fantasy

pleb_maximus, in Why

My homies selfies aren’t tasty feet pics of attractive women. Sorry, not sorry.

toomanypancakes,
@toomanypancakes@lemmy.world avatar

Why aren’t your homies taking better selfies?

pleb_maximus,

My homies aren’t women.
Also I don’t have facebook or instagram, so I don’t actually know any selfies of homies in the first place.

Entropy, in No excuses

I’m in a filthy gas station bathroom stall right now. I feel like that’s a pretty good excuse.

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

Ok, there is ONE excuse.

Entropy,

🤣

LemmyKnowsBest,

You’re in a filthy gas station bathroom, relaxed and comfortable enough to be browsing memes on your phone

Entropy,

Doesn’t mean I wanna put my hands on the ground lol.

aeronmelon, in Hey, the A.I said it not me.

So, young Bjork and old Daniel Radcliffe.

Hupf, in Onions are a violation of the terms of service.

Those onion cutting ninjas at it again with their vendetta

brognak, in nuclear chicken

That shade of red looks weirdly like the Photoshop element selector overlay thing

pimento64,

So does the fact that it doesn’t line up with the chicken

Hupf, (edited ) in I don't know how to title this

Is your opossum ok?

Also, this would belong to !pissposting

redballooon, in What's wrong with 'eggs'?

Doesn’t sound appetizing enough.

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Scrambled butt nuggets?

redballooon,

That’s the spirit.

thorbot, (edited ) in Bad day

I’ll be downvoted to oblivion but this post is fucked up. Body shaming is fucking despicable. Your downvotes prove me right that this place is just a toxic cesspit

ObviouslyNotBanana, (edited )
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

No shame from me. All bodies are fucking funny, my friend. We’re hairless apes who wear fabrics and live in boxes. We’re some odd motherfuckers.

DrFuggles,

I mean yeah, but it’s mainly funny because I had absolutely no idea what I was looking at. The color, pattern and lighting meant I really absolutely had no idea what I was looking at. A back? A sweater? A cat? A crotch? A knee? An ass? Something else?

So yeah.

TrickDacy, in What's wrong with 'eggs'?
@TrickDacy@lemmy.world avatar

They’re actually chicken periods.

AnIntenseMoist,

I prefer chicken abortions.

poppy,

Abortion implies fertilization. Your typical carton of eggs comes from chickens that have not been near a rooster and therefore won’t have been fertilized. They’re just completed menstruation.

Oderus, in It's not door number 2?

Reminds me of a joke.

What did one gay sperm say to the other?

I can’t see shit in here.

originalucifer, (edited ) in What's wrong with 'eggs'?
@originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com avatar

do not underestimate comedic value. its what gets unattractive people laid, and would absolutely cause me to purchase butt nuggets from one farm skipping the eggs from the previous farm.

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