starman2112,
@starman2112@sh.itjust.works avatar

Highlight of my life was shortly after I broke my arm, someone saw me struggling with one of these one-handed and opened it for me like the damn lockpicking lawyer. I’ve considered taking my sling with me shopping ever since, in case I need another good Samaritan to open one of these godforsaken bags again

NaoPb,

I had filled one bag. Then tried to fill the othet with air to open it up, when the filled one broke and everything went out the bottom.

ElBarto,
@ElBarto@sh.itjust.works avatar

All you do is put the top between the palms of your hands and rub them together like you’ve just come up with an evil plan and they pop open.

LemmyKnowsBest,

bonus points if you actually come up with an evil plan while you’re doing it

Desistance,

This was me today. I just wanted some apples dammit.

lseif,

after working at a supermarket you can open one in like 1s 🙏 skill issue

NBJack,

Breath on your fingers like you’re trying to fog up glass. Immediately open by running your fingers in opposite directions along the edge, using the additional friction you created.

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

Instructions unclear, bag is stuck in my glasses

Daxtron2,

Please don’t breathe your germs onto my vegetables

snausagesinablanket,
@snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world avatar

Keep my vegetables out your fucking mouth.

Ookami38,

Well I hope you’re going to wash them anyway. There’s already a bunch more worse shit than a bit of breath condensation from a guy standing a few feet away breathing onto his hands.

Daxtron2,

No need to add to it, you have to pick them up and I’d rather not have more germs on them from some troglodyte putting their saliva on them

smolyeet,

🤓 just wash your vegetables. Seems easier than relying on hundreds of people

Daxtron2,

🤓 no shit wash your vegetables, you still don’t need to put your fucking saliva on them

Ookami38,

If you’re that concerned about every “troglodyte” out there doing anything that may remotely spread a couple of germs, I advise you wear a hazmat suit when you go out. And when you’re inside. Just, always. Life’s filthy, take precautions before you put something in your body (wash it, cook it, etc) but past that, man… good luck.

Daxtron2,

Asking for a modicum of sanitary practices isn’t an absurd request.

Ookami38,

A “modicum” of sanitary practices doesn’t include something as innocuous as using some breath condensation to open a bag lol. Say that to the parents not watching as their kid snots all over the place. If you wanna call someone a troglodyte, maybe reserve it for the guy who sneezes without covering. The level of harm someone does by selecting their produce, tearing off a bag, and God forbid breathing on their hands is actually nil.

Daxtron2,

You can call it “innocuous” all you want, it’s still an unnecessarily unsanitary thing to do. Just because there’s worse examples of gross people doesn’t mean getting your saliva on produce in the store isn’t also gross.

TechLauren,

One of the best life tips I’ve ever gotten was from some random stranger as I desperately struggled with one of these things: Most times if you slide one edge up and one edge down it pops right open even with super dry skin. Not sure why this works when sliding the halves sideways does not but it dies!

Perhapsjustsniffit,

You can do this between your fingers as well. Just use a motion like you are snapping your fingers just more gentle.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
@Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca avatar

Produce Manager here. Place the end that opens directly between your two palms, and rub your palms together vigorously. The bag will stick to one palm or both, opening every time. Please stop licking your fingers to open these bags and then picking through our vegetables. You’re gross.

Sharpiemarker,

A breath of hot air also makes the bag stick to your hands and easy to separate. Like you’re trying to fog a window.

Octopus1348,
@Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

I knew there will be a comment like this.

Perhapsjustsniffit,

Vegetable Farmer here. That shit is already gross. Wash your veggies.

Stalinwolf,
@Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca avatar

Produce Manager here. Thanks for all of the gross vegetables!

gsb,

Consumer of vegetables here. Where can I find the yams?

Stalinwolf,
@Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca avatar

Yam section. Can’t miss it.

veganpizza69,
@veganpizza69@lemmy.world avatar

it’s called grocery bag fission

Lucidlethargy,

That’s nothing, go buy a roll of dog poop bags…

MintyAnt,

Just lick your fingers. Before you touch the poop of course

ApeCavalryArt,
@ApeCavalryArt@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve honestly started to open the first poop bag before going out

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

How have I become a dad? I don’t even have a girlfriend.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

At least the bags say “OPEN HERE”. We’d be fucked if they said “OPEN IN ZIMBABWE” or something like that.

Death_Equity,

Not sure, I might have just figured out Steven Wright’s Lemmy account.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

Excuse me? That was a George Carlin joke I stole.

DytallixB,

Moses parted the sea faster than I separate the bag at the store

AgentGrimstone,

I go to the broccolis and touch the usually wet crate first.

the_artic_one,

All grocery stores actually sell a product that can help you with this, it’s called “hand lotion”.

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

How is using hand lotion on the bag gonna make it open?

Witchfire, (edited )
@Witchfire@lemmy.world avatar

You gently rub it around the lip in slow, circular motions while telling it it’s pretty

Lemminary,

For the boy bags, you gotta shake 'em

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