Zozano, (edited )

Step 1: drink water

Step 2: piss

Step 3: put seat down

Step 4: repeat 5 more times

Step 5: wait till I’m nagged

Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat

Step 7: continue ignoring child’s needs

Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is

TimewornTraveler,

Holy fucking shit his face…

This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.

LemmyKnowsBest,

He looks like a man who forgot that divorce is an option.

lightnsfw,

How many stickers do I get for painting the ceiling?

mhague,

Back in my day we assumed everything on the internet was false, and we liked it.

FeelzGoodMan420,

One thing I have noticed is that most people assume that these obviously fake posts are real. I personally just assume everything is complete bullshit until proven otherwise. I guess I’m in the minority.

MaoZedongers,

I assume it’s fake, but there’s not much to talk about in that case, so I look for the people who think it’s real and then engage with them since their opinions are based how they feel about this very fucked up situation if it were real.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

And then we watched Dana Carvey do an old man on SNL and whine and complain the whole time, “wah, wah, wah. I’m an old man. Laugh at me.”

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/463ebb48-d8ed-4c74-93c0-e32c02257d8e.png

And we liked it.

vsis,
@vsis@feddit.cl avatar

“Don’t believe everything you see on internet.” Albert Einstein.

Tja, (edited )

Do you feel smart just because you are quoting Einstein?

  • Abraham Lincoln
prime_number_314159,

Yes, actually.

-Archimedes (translated)

NigelFrobisher,

Wait, his kids made this?

doggle,

Presumably his wife made it. Hopefully as a joke.

JasonDJ,

My kids would absolutely put “BJs” as a reward in my sticker chart.

But to them, BJs is the store I buy paper goods, frozen foods, and non-perishables at. I love that place.

MagnyusG,

naked hula dance by yours truly

I fukn hope not

harry_balzac,

Sorry dude but you are most definitely not Kenough.

Mango,

Transactional.

Keeping score isn’t love.

bruhduh,
@bruhduh@lemmy.world avatar

His face tells it

platypus_plumba, (edited )

I’d totally get her to suck my dick 10 times per day and never nag again. This seems like a good deal.

I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

“Honey, the kids are taking 5 lunches to school today, I’m adding the stickers myself, thanks”.

aesthelete,

I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

Am I the only one alarmed that he’s cleaning up so much vomit? I mean I get that he wants the BJs, but is he feeding the kids syrup of ipecac sandwiches?

doggle,

Very young kids puke sometimes. It happens. We also don’t know how long it took him to get all those stickers. Could’ve been over the course of a few months or longer.

aesthelete, (edited )

It’s 3x as often as he does the dishes at any rate; he must not be a big drinker.

EDIT: It’s 2x as often as he puts the toilet seat down as well…must not have to go pee pee very often.

EDIT2: For people with the “toilet seat down” problem, just get a toilet seat that slow closes on its own…they’re like 20 bucks and then you can just tap the top of the top part of the seat and it does the rest of the work.

dream_weasel,

Plot twist: daddy is bulemic.

platypus_plumba,

I would.

FatTony,
@FatTony@lemmy.world avatar

Wouldn’t it be more useful if he first threw up and then cleaned up?

RealFknNito,
@RealFknNito@lemmy.world avatar

If my girl whips out a chart like this, I don’t care if we’re 20 years together and married, your boy is gonna go get milk.

GBU_28, (edited )

-ed

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Bolemia for BJs.

BeefPiano,

“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.

Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!

Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I guess I’m just kinky, because the idea of chores for sex sounds pretty awesome to me.

0x4E4F, (edited )
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

Look, I’m a male and I completely get the “I’m horny all the time” aspect of males, but… if she did this, that’s a complete downer for me. Mind you, I love sex, I would have it a few times a day if I could.

Rolando,

I think that the key is to have a “safe word”.

Buddahriffic,

Does she want sex or does she want chores done? Because if it’s just the latter, then I wouldn’t really want sex either.

If you’re ever handed a chore chart and it’s not part of a kink, then assume your relationship is in serious trouble.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

I was thinking more in terms of the latter. If it’s part of a kink, sure.

Kusimulkku,

It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

Some are into that

Signtist,

It depends on how seriously it’s followed. My wife will often say something along the lines of “if you make dinner I’ll let you feel me up,” but it’s with the mutual understanding that she knows I’d make her dinner because she asked regardless of the reward, and I know she wouldn’t offer it if she wasn’t happy to give it - she just wants to make sure we have dinner first.

This chart’s a bit too far, though, since it’s a more long-term commitment that doesn’t factor in everyone’s feelings at the time that the rewards come due, but I could see that being circumvented in the event that a “rain check” could be called if someone’s not feeling it at that moment.

ch00f,
dditty,

I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can’t remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀

GrayBackgroundMusic,

true mvp

funkless_eck,

🎵 the lap dance is better when the stripper has stiiickers 🎵

figjam,

I mean, yeah. I love stickers!

Geobloke,

Said her name was Bambi

Buddahriffic,

Had about as much teeth as a jack-o’-lantern.

Classy,

I was gonna say, the way I care for our kid, if we had done this chart I wouldn’t have had time to do anything but get continuous blow jobs and lap dances!

SpaceNoodle,

Don’t slander cheese like that.

jopepa,

Imagine the French and Italian retaliation if they had said wheel of cheese.

Kecessa,

I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that they call it “being in the dog house”… Is it a common expression in English?

papalonian,

Someone else answered but yes it’s a boomer expression. Basically to mean you’re in trouble with your spouse. (They aren’t letting you in their bed so you go to sleep with your dog in the dog house.)

WhiteOakBayou,

Yes, I’ve never heard a real person use it but I’ve heard it on TV enough to know what it means. I think it’s a boomer expression.

JackbyDev,

Trading sex for chores is gross.

Don’t kink shame.

chetradley,

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.

This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I’m saving up for a toothy blowjob.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

I do all that, and yet, it’s still not enough… always expected to do more and nagged about not doing enough.

chetradley,

Sounds like you need to put the toilet seat down more lol

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

It’s always down.

EnderMB,

I’d love to see him retaliate with a chart for her

[x] Stop being a cunt -> Stay Married

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Mhm, that would be my ace of spades.

Katrisia,

Sure, the spouse that has to create a reward system so that the other person does their chores is the one in the wrong, not the spouse that apparently needs parenting. Also, marriage is a favor to the former, not something both want and benefit from (/sarcasm).

woobie,

You say she “has to create” this and that he “apparently needs parenting”. Did you have some additional context that informs that opinion?

Couldn’t there be other reasons, such as she just doesn’t like doing those particular chores?

MaoZedongers,

Motherfucker got caught with their bias hanging out

pH3ra,
@pH3ra@lemmy.ml avatar

He’s gonna give her the blow job

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Come here you big hunk and suck on this juicy clit!!!

Yep, that’ll get me in the mood in no time.

Thteven,
@Thteven@lemmy.world avatar

That man’s soul is screaming for help behind those eyes.

xor,

notice how his eyebrows have fallen out…

superduperenigma,

Sure, she may have infantalized him to an embarrassing degree, but at least she posted it online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage is and how transactional their sex live is.

0x4E4F,
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Excuse me, but, she made it transactional.

TseseJuer,

no shit, are you illiterate?

0x4E4F, (edited )
@0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works avatar

Look at the chart, she made it… I don’t understand where the confusion is…

TseseJuer,

this has already been proven to be a joke post

can,

online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage

Not to mention their fucking child. Hopefully “daddy” is just a nickname.

StarPupil,

Unless the throw up he’s cleaning and blown out diaper he’s changing are hers, probably not. Also “rugrats” he bathed.

can,

Well damn

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