memes

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0x4E4F, in I know I'll become one with it.

i told it not to return anything!

programming humor 😂

jubilationtcornpone,

“She expected nothing, but instead she received a promise…”

It’s either a Hallmark movie tagline or JavaScript.

Track_Shovel, in That is fun!
@Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net avatar

I used to do shift work, with a non-standardized amount days off between.

This is the only thing you end up getting done on days off.

sagrotan, in Choose your vehicle
@sagrotan@lemmy.world avatar

The answer is “yes”. To both questions.

bdazman, (edited )

Ah yes, Big Bicycle.

A very real thing that has lobbiests and a department you have to go to. You know, the DPV, the department of pedalled vehicles, its where you are forced to do basically everything from register to vote to get a death certificate. It’s CRAZY how much influence Big Bicycle has over our society.

I mean did you know that ~40,000 americans per year are killed by traffic violence every year. I bet 99% of those are from extremely fat men riding osmium bicycles at 50 mph, running people over!

And did you know that bicycles use alchemy to create almost all of the pollution that coats our cities, adversely affecting the health of everybody who doesn’t bike?

I mean hell, can you imagine bulldozing empoverished minority neighborhoods in every city in the US for 50 years to build these federally funded 12 land elevated bike lanes that totally exist? The nerve of those cyclists advocacy groups!

Damn bicycles, who the heck do they think they are?!

Edit 01: typo

RIP_Cheems, in Choose your vehicle
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

I wonder which one they’re referring to?

UnverifiedAPK,

/c/ThatsTheJoke

ShitOnABrick,
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

Both

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

I keep finding you.

ShitOnABrick,
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/5101aff0-9dc6-41a7-9d1e-de7bd5eb0fe3.jpeg

mYHAHHAHQHQHQHQGQ IM WVERTWHERE YOU CANT GET AWAY FROM ME IMA MAKE YOU CRAZY BRO YHEB YOULL BE PUT IN A RUBBER ROOM A RUBBER ROOM WITH RATS THEN THE RATSBWILL MAKE YOU CRzy BRO

RIP_Cheems,
@RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world avatar

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/6fe67904-e7a6-40fc-b7b2-f72c64191556.jpeg Бездната ги повика душите на грешните и душите на невините. твојата дрскост ќе биде казнета со вечни маки, чии слични само богови ги доживеале.

ShitOnABrick,
@ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world avatar

Tranalated this means The Abyss called forth the souls of the sinful and the souls of the innocent. your insolence will be punished with eternal torments, the likes of which only the gods have experienced.

In response to this

I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just - I just couldn’t prove it. He - he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He’s done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn’t have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He’ll never change. He’ll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn’t keep his hands out of the cash drawer! But not our Jimmy! Couldn’t be precious Jimmy! Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer? What a sick joke! I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance! And you - you have to stop him!

American_Communist22,
@American_Communist22@lemmygrad.ml avatar

this is the most deranged fucking thread ever

what the fuck

Vector, in history ppl
  • WarCraft 3 DotA Map has entered the chat *
coco,

Damn right inolayed that similar shit then dota swoop that custom mini map

Fades,

DotA Allstars has left the chat, sad that it has been forgotten after pendragon locked it down and stole everything to start riot

SwedishFool, (edited ) in Choose your vehicle

Well I’m 30 and I have 3, I’m really happy for everyone that doesn’t need and therefore just dont own cars, must be enormous savings per month on top of the lesser impact on the climate.

Edit: Aaaand there comes the car hate- ya’ll are talking about not imposing shit upon others, yet here you are judging me and my wife for not making it by without cars because of specific circumstances 🤷‍♂️ aight hypocrites.

nodsocket,

I also have 3, three lifted Dodge Rams.

SwedishFool,

And the point of this comment was what specifically?

bdazman,

As long as you dont drive a deathmachine through a populated city, nonconsentually transfering risk from yourself onto others, nobody ought care my friend. We all need farmers and miners and whatnot. Y’all could drive a turbo boosted afterburning steamroller with JATO assist as an emergency break for all we care, as long as its not harming others.

Most of the buddies I have who are both bike commuters and motorheads have their fun at the track or on the mountain roads. I’d take a 3000$ beat up Miata over these land yachts any day. I don’t understand the kind of people who roll coal to the whole foods parking lot in their spotless F690-compensator-edition. It seems as antisocial as it is unfun.

But thats my personal frustration you see. I can’t drive fun cars like that anymore because selfish pricks have made the roads less safe for everyone other than themselves.

Catoblepas, in dOwNlOaD oUr aPp pLz uWu

My doctor’s office has done this to me when I’ve called in to get help with a prescription issue I was having. Literally just gave me instructions for how to message my doctor through the app. 🫠 Mfer I’m calling because I don’t want to use it! It sucks ass too because it always takes like a week to get a one sentence reply that only addresses half of what I asked.

AeroLemming,

I tried to contact my doctor through the online portal and it wasn’t working because those systems have zero quality control. I called them and had to listen to a long-ass pre-recorded message urging me to use the portal that WASN’T FUCKING WORKING before I could go on hold to eventually talk to a person. It’s infuriating.

IDontHavePantsOn, in Before its too late

October would be what I would consider too late, but for a dog in a suit, well, I think we could all make an exception.

bobs_monkey,

In California had an extension to Oct 15 (not sure if state-wide or not, we were in one of the Snowmageddon areas), which then I guess got extended to Nov 15. Not sure what’s going on, I paid my taxes back in June.

tdawg, in That is fun!

Book? Check. Comfiest blanket in the house? Check. Coffee? Check

It’s a good day

Batmancer, in That is fun!

I slept for 12 hours today. 1am to 1pm. Asleep for most of that time but rolled over and peaked at the clock 2 or 3 times. It was glorious.

coco, in Thank God

Worse !when i wake up 15 mknute before the clock 😤

prole,

Every day. I just get up at this point.

simulacra_simulacrum, in NICE FUCKING TEAPOT MATE

Spiciest meme I’ve seen all day mate. I’d say it’s worth $10,000 in this condition

nutbiggums,

Fucking A man, fucking A

JizzmasterD, in Before its too late

I’ve seen how this pooch balls, I wouldn’t fuck with their tax assessment. Fuckin’ D-men

HooPhuckenKarez, in the right reacting to a leftist meme

Something something identify as a attack helicopter. Hur dur der.

ghen,

There’s a new batch out. They actually have two jokes now. Just say something racist and replace the problem words with “woke”.

BananaPeal, in It's Soupy Season!
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

Soup season! That explains the dreams where I keep trying to put a chicken into a hot tub.

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