I never got the point of watching a movie with someone if you’re both just totally silent and not interacting the whole time. Then at the end it’s like “what did you think of the movie” “it was ok” “yeah”
I guess that makes sense if you’re watching movies with people who have a lot of thoughts about movies, I’ve never watched a movie with someone who had more than ten second’s worth of things to say about it afterwards though.
Well in cinemas I’m obviously silent because there are strangers. I just like to talk when watching movies together privatly.
I think its really nice when the movie is a total brainfuck to make theorys with friends. If you just want to sit there in total silence even in private situations you could just watch the movie alone.
Nah, that’s ok. When you “watch a movie” at home with a group of people, you are not really watching a movie. It just serves as background noise and as an easy fallback for someone that doesn’t want to participate in the conversation.
I do this too, I’m thinking aloud. My girlfriend scolds me for “spoilers”, which is funny because I’m just guessing what is going to happen based on other stuff I’ve seen.
Not my fault writers are terribly unimaginative lol
My family does this. Even if I have watched it, if it’s a movie worth watching, it’s gonna answer all necessary questions. Just give it some damn time!
You’re interrupting the movie and making people miss out. If all agree ahead of time to do a MST3K kinda thing, sure. As a compromise: pause the movie first.
Makes for a bit of a boring hangout if you both just sit silently there through the movie. At that point might as well watch it separately and then get together to discuss it.
Cinema being different of course, you’re not supposed to talk there to begin with
Yeah everyone in this thread probably being too literal, myself included lol.
Like, I’m not gonna get mad if someone makes a quick comment or quip during a movie. I’m not asking people to sit there in silence with absolutely no interaction while the movie plays. I’m just asking people to not try and start and maintain a conversation while the movie is playing, which I think is reasonable.
Not to say it’s objectively wrong, but if it’s someone like me that you’re watching a movie with, I generally expect quiet. A comment here and there is probably fine in the right context, but constantly breaking into conversation mid-movie is a distraction I don’t really appreciate. Generally, I think it’s important to understand the expectations of everyone involved.
Because it’s insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical. You aren’t the only person in the world. We’re both watching the movie and we’re both equally as confused. When you ask those questions what you’re doing is interrupting the movie for someone else to demand an explanation for yourself. An explanation you will not get as, again, both of us are confused. Other people are watching the movie too. Interrupting it to try and get answers for yourself is some narcissistic behavior, especially when you’re in a movie theater with shitloads of other people around you.
Moreover, during the middle of the movie is not the place to have a discussion. People are trying to watch it and enjoy it, not listen to some breakdown about the events so far. If you want to have those discussions then keep it for after the movie when attention can be properly given to the discussion, not a half whispered response in a tone of “Dude, can you shut up?”
Because it’s insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical.
I can imagine coming over to a friend’s place or to a date and just sitting there in absolute silence watching a movie instead of you know, hanging out and talking stuff
Your friend is probably more interesting in hanging out with you than strictly watching a movie lol
An explanation you will not get as, again, both of us are confused.
Did you read my comment? I said I don’t expect you to know the answer, I just want to hear your thoughts. If you don’t want to talk during movies then watch them alone.
Because it’s insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical. You aren’t the only person in the world. We’re both watching the movie and we’re both equally as confused.
I don’t expect you to be less confused, I don’t expect you to know the answer
When you ask those questions what you’re doing is interrupting the movie for someone else to demand an explanation for yourself.
Of course I wouldn’t talk during a dialogue, only during non-dialogue scenes
An explanation you will not get as, again, both of us are confused.
Again, I don’t expect you to know the answer
Other people are watching the movie too. Interrupting it to try and get answers for yourself is some narcissistic behavior, especially when you’re in a movie theater with shitloads of other people around you.
Lmao do you think I would be screaming that question throughout the entire theatre?
If you want to have those discussions then keep it for after the movie
It’s not about a discussion it’s about speculation. There’s no point in speculation when the movie is over, all answers are given unless if there’s a second movie coming.
I don’t expect you to be less confused, I don’t expect you to know the answer
Then the discussion is not relevant in the moment and can be saved until after the movie when you are not actively disrupting the movie for other people.
Of course I wouldn’t talk during a dialogue, only during non-dialogue scenes
What you find personally enjoyable is not universal. While you may focus heavily on dialogue, other people do not. Moreover, things that are in non-dialogue scenes can be just as important, if not VITALLY important, to the movie as dialogue itself. By your logic, every other part of the movie that does not include dialogue is irrelevant to the movie and doesn’t require attention.
Again, I don’t expect you to know the answer
Then the discussion is not relevant in the moment and can be saved until after the movie when you are not actively disrupting the movie for other people.
Lmao do you think I would be screaming that question throughout the entire theatre?
People are sitting around you on all sides. Unless there is no one near you, then you are going to disrupt the movie for them. There is a reason the trope exists of people saying “SHHH!” to other people talking quietly in movies. It’s because they have ears and can hear you.
It’s not about a discussion it’s about speculation. There’s no point in speculation when the movie is over, all answers are given unless if there’s a second movie coming.
Speculation requires you to talk to the other person and for them to talk back to you. You know. Like a discussion. If you’re not expecting a response at all then it just circles back to the point of egotistical and narcissistic by assuming that everyone around you thinks that your idle musings about a movie are more entertaining than the movie itself.
This entire conversation is pointless and I’m not continuing it any further. What you’re advocating for is some nastygirl behavior that is utterly inconsiderate of everyone else. Let me reflect that energy right back by no longer considering anything you say.
If you go to the theater to watch a movie then you need to sit down, shut up, and just enjoy the movie. Nobody needs to hear your thoughts in that exact moment. That includes yourself.
To share the emotional experiences, and then talk about the story afterwards.
Or you can talk during the film and have this conversation later:
“What was that dude so angry about?”
“I don’t know. We were talking about the previous scene during that scene.”
“That movie sucked. It was confusing and I just couldn’t get into it.”
So we can share quiet, non-intrustive reactions and absolutely gush about the movie at the end. The hangout doesn’t end just because the movie’s over. Do you try to talk to the person next to you about the rollercoaster you’re having fun on?
Because you’re not actually there for the movie but to spend time with the other person. Theaters are different but then again, there’s a reason it’s a shit way to hangout or go on a date
My sister is ADHD so she legit has real questions that I can totally help with despite having seen the same stuff so far. But of course she has no idea which stuff is intentionally vague and which stuff she hasn’t been able to connect that was intended to be solved so far. So if it’s an intentionally vague moment my answer is “we don’t know yet”.
I definitely get that it can be annoying if you have no idea why they are asking. But they wouldn’t have learned that behaviour if it didn’t occasionally matter. Since this behaviour is common, and ADHD is common, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s always the case. But it’s probably only some people with ADHD, depending on how theirs presented. And of course some people may have this trait of ADHD without enough of the rest of the traits to be able to get diagnosed.
But yeah, it’s one of the traits of ADHD that makes them feel like they must not be smart, despite any evidence to the contrary. Cuz they just don’t “get” what are obvious clues to other people. But it’s simple topic linking, basically their brains see everything in it’s own bubble, and they can be very good at figuring out everything in that one bubble, but if a puzzle in that bubble needs a part from a different bubble, that puzzle is never gonna be solved for them without outside help to find the bubble that has the needed part.
I don’t, as far as I know, have ADHD. I did not notice foreshadowing and such until I took an elective in college that broke all that stuff down for cinema.
Now that I know, I notice it. It’s like hearing the Wilheim scream. Once you know what it sounds like, you hear it pop up a lot. A Lot. I never noticed it at all before.
Same thing with Hero’s Journey in storytelling.
Once you learn to recognize these things, you can’t not notice them. Sometimes it ruins things a little, sometimes it makes them better.
If you want to know how to read the clues, watch some youtubes on how to spot everything. People love making videos about it.
Or, just continue to enjoy the ride, but stop asking for it to be explained. If you want the explanation either learn the clues or just read a spoiler summary beforehand. Don’t risk ruining it for someone, who overhears your conversation by accident, when they just wanted to enjoy seeing the story unfold moment by moment.
I’m sorry none of that has anything to do with ADHD. If anything ADHD is great for helping make connections from disparate sources as, for better or for worse, 15 things pass through your brain every second. And as someone with ADHD, trying to talk to me during a movie is incredibly annoying, because I’m either hyperfocused on the movie or working very hard to focus on it. If I’m not focused on it, I probably don’t care about it very much, so I’m not going to be asking questions to try to keep up.
All of this sounds like your sister has made “ask questions” part of her “try very hard to focus” routine but that is her quirk, not an ADHD trait. I can only imagine nobody has annoyed her in this way so hasn’t thought about it.
Oh, no. She is definitely great at making connections otherwise. It’s just one of her executive dysfunction symptoms. Like I said, not all people with ADHD get that one. She 100% hates having to ask questions and break immersion. But she also has a huge fear of being wrong, and it bothers her to a larger degree when she thinks she has missed how two things might be related.
She is almost 40 now, so she has had plenty time to at least get a decent sense of when a movie should be making more sense than it is. But there are still times where it is just as much as we are supposed to know by now.
My 8 year old does this. Most of the time it’s during movies I’ve already watched so I could answer her questions. But fuck man, just watch the movie and it will answer your questions. We spend more time talking about what’s happening than watching/listening 🤦
We usually do end up talking for most of the movie. I guess I kind of do like doing that with her. I absolutely love your comment. Thank you for changing my perspective.
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