Agent641

@Agent641@lemmy.world

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Agent641, (edited )

I never learned to roll back my foreskin when I was a wee lad and so once when I was 8 it got infected and I had to apply ointment to it and keep gradually peeling it back from its swollen and cemented position like trying to squeeze a tennis ball out of a tight gym sock. it hurt to pee for a week. Still, Im glad to have my foreskin.

Agent641,

I do all my own electrical work in the shower.

Agent641,

Just today I stole some cuttings from a random houses grape vine. Im pirating their garden.

Agent641,

Women: Men only think with their penises!

Me: Frankly, I find the idea of a penis that THINKS, offensive!

Agent641,

Im a ryobi slut too, mainly for the price, except for a few old Metabo grinders which are built like brick shithouses and will probably outlive me.

How to pull rocks out of pipe in the ground?

My mom has a hole in the ground that she puts her clothes drying hanger in. Like this. The hole in the ground is a 2" or so pipe, set in concrete. The pipe has filled with gravel. Anyone have a tip on getting the rocks out? I can only get so many out using my fingers and then trying to use a set of chopsticks.

Agent641,

Last christmas I was gifted a 5k piece pizzle of Joan of ark leading a charge of soldiers with her boobs out. Its still in the box, for now

Agent641,

Wait they took that away? I have an S9 and I rely on this to know whos messaging me. Blue is textra, purple is whatsapp, white is insta, green is signal.

Agent641, (edited )

Baking soda can’t melt steel memes

Agent641,

You can’t spell ‘yours’ without ‘ours’, comrade.

Agent641,

Libs would have you believe that America isn’t a monarchy.

Agent641,

Ramsay Bolton did a lot of skinning. So much skinning.

Agent641, (edited )

Its the law. Visitors to the Netherlands are required to demonstrate contempt of everyone not currently in the Netherlands.

Agent641,

The civilians of both countries should be currently Gadaffi’ing their own respective top government officials

Agent641,

Its from a Japanese gameshow where you poop competitively. Sometimes they have celebrities charity episode.

Agent641, (edited )

I’ve actually come up with a way to have a complex and unique password for each service which is also resilient againt forced password changes, doenst require a password manager, and if Im being tortured I still wont be able to tell them what it is because I dont know it unless Im at the login screen. If the service changes the layout of their login screen though, Im fucked.

Agent641,

Please do not engage in intercorse with the plastic explosive.

Agent641,

Even though it looks terrifying, I can assure you that it also feels terrifying.

Agent641,

Its OK I had some vegemite smeared behind the ears to ward them off.

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