Agent641

@Agent641@lemmy.world

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Agent641,

Im a ryobi slut too, mainly for the price, except for a few old Metabo grinders which are built like brick shithouses and will probably outlive me.

Agent641,

The oil is now outside of the environment

Agent641,

Slam your fist on the counter and shout " I’m fatter, dammit!"

Agent641,

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Agent641,

This kills the man

Agent641,

This is quite gendered and stereotypical.

But hell yeah.

Agent641,

Last christmas I was gifted a 5k piece pizzle of Joan of ark leading a charge of soldiers with her boobs out. Its still in the box, for now

Agent641,

OBEY

Agent641,

I need to use this form of communication in my work emails (didnt even read the chain)

Agent641,

Its not gay if you do it sarcastically

Agent641,

Black fax - such an effective remote physical attack that fax companies had to actually hard-code a defence against it, to not print pages where there would be enough ink or toner dispensed that it could damage the machine or be a fire hazard

Agent641,

I forgot the torque wrench, just fucking full send it.

Agent641, (edited )

And they feed on microplastics and ionizing radiation.

Agent641,

Dibs feet

Agent641, (edited )

Then we drink their poison on purpose, as if in mockery

Agent641, (edited )

When something bad happens to me, something that might make me angry or irritated, I say out loud or to myself in faux anger “This is the worst thing thats ever happened to anybody!”

Helps me to put in perspective the trivialities on my own misfortune, to laugh, and to move on, rather than brooding.

When Im having an acute bad time, mentally, normally due to nebulous worries about things or panic-thinking trapped without action or decision, the grounding exercise helps me. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.

Writing in a diary has helped me immensely. People been telling me all my life to do it, but I always found it hard, until I found a tiny pocet book and .05mm pigment pen that I could write really small with. Small writing is my own encryption against other people seen what I wrote, its damn near impossible for me to read it back without a magnifying glass, and the small pocketbook can be carried around anywhere.

Agent641,

We need an app to help us identify hotdogs from non-hotdogs

Agent641,

Any soup and any bread - both homemade. I cant stomach canned soup, but I make my own, prodigiously, and freeze it.

My favorite is broccoli cheddar soup, followed by a spicy tomato bisque which somehow seems it gets spicier the longer it stays in the fridge, then ham bone soup, then caldo verde portugese soup, then potato leek, and my most recent one was a red cabbage bisque which I have mixed feelings about, but I love to see the horror on my colleagues faces as I tuck into a weird, dark purple goopy monster blood lunch.

I like to make a skillet flatbread, the same kind i make when im camping. Water, flour, yeast, salt, olive oil, half a day of hanging out in my backpack while im hiking, punched down and pasted to the inside of a frying pan, smothered in dried herbs or maybe crushed pepitas, whatevers handy, covered in foil and baked on a campfire. It never comes out the same way twice. Sometimes the crust is burned, but flatbread is really forgiving, just scrape off the burned bits and theres good bread underneath.

How to pull rocks out of pipe in the ground?

My mom has a hole in the ground that she puts her clothes drying hanger in. Like this. The hole in the ground is a 2" or so pipe, set in concrete. The pipe has filled with gravel. Anyone have a tip on getting the rocks out? I can only get so many out using my fingers and then trying to use a set of chopsticks.

Agent641,

Presidents arent just for christmas, they are a huge commitment. Every year after the holidays, animal shelters fill up with unwanted presidents, and those that cannot be re-homed are euthanised.

Agent641,

Ah, its time for the nightly “State of the Porch” presidential address

Agent641,

My father died from working the salami mines. He got the pink lung.

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