@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki,
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I wanna know what kind of zombies I’ll be dealing with. Slow shamblers? Fast runners? Intelligent undead?

Yes, Scratch, Good Dog

Scratch is the bestest of the best boys. I think he got even better with the new patch. Maybe too good. I threw the vial of smokepowder to blast through a wall. And the good boy thinks I want to play fetch. So while everyone runs away from the wall and I’m getting ready to IGNIS the good boy fetches the smokepowder and brings...

Kolanaki,
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Wait what?! I thought that ball was just a random item he brings you that you can throw so he’d fetch it. It summons him?!

Kolanaki,
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Now I get this meme video I saw the other day of a scientist drinking from a mug, gagging, spitting it back into the cup and saying “Ugh yep. That was the moldy one.”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Right before it goes into the pan/pot. You want to at least use salt at this point to keep moisture in the meat while cooking and allowing it to brown better before you start tossing in everything else.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I was once the highest ranked player of Shootmania in California.

Nevermind that I was also the only player in California at the time.

Kolanaki,
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I spent slightly more than I usually do for some copper threaded compression socks.

I don’t give a damn about the pseudoscience bull about copper relieving pain; but I figured it’s stronger than cotton and it hasn’t let me down in the wear and tear department.

Kolanaki,
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What brand of stupid reality bullshit you think will eventually take over the weather channel? 🤔

Kolanaki,
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“If I wanted to see Facebook or TikTok content, Id be on Facebook and TikTok.”

Goes on to scroll Reddit or Lemmy and upvote all the screenshots from Facebook and videos taken from TikTok

Kolanaki,
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Lemme know when you deploy them so I can claim one of my kids is stuck on it.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Alas, poor Vorik… I didn’t know him very well.

Kolanaki,
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I would have thought redneck automatically implied alcohol.

Kolanaki,
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It certainly made me say “hell yeah.”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Free- ballin’ Dilithium Crystalin’

Kolanaki,
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How to microwave ramen

“The package says not to put the cup in the microwave and to boil the water separately then pour it into the cup, but what does the Internet have to say?”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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You may have to do it manually by appending @“user’s instance” to their username in the “to” field if the app/site you’re using doesn’t do it automatically (or the user who made the auto message fucked up the URL).

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Shoestring, julienne, matchstick, haystack

There seems to be some contention on this.

I’ll just chalk that up to regional differences in naming. Like Soda vs Pop. I’ve never seen this in California. Where might I actually order “matchstick fries” or a “haystack?” :3

Kolanaki,
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I didn’t know gummy bears had flavors.

You just shove 'em in your mouth handfuls at a time?

Kolanaki,
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“Moe” just means “cute” in Japanese, AFAIK.

Kolanaki,
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Are they trained to ask this when everyone at the table literally has their mouth full?

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Maddox really only wanted to be able to replicate Data so he could have his very own harem of android sex machines.

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