intensely_human

@intensely_human@lemm.ee

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intensely_human,

I’m 41 years old, and I can’t pay attention to video games for more than about half an hour.

Unless I’m smoking pot, in which case I can play video games all day.

intensely_human,

If I could just list out my misconceptions I’d be a god

intensely_human,

Also there’s a lot of political pressure disrupting farming too. Food could be a big problem this year.

intensely_human,

They do, so their soldiers get +2 protein per turn

intensely_human,

I’ve done this. It never crossed my mind other people didn’t. You have some butter nearby and you’re eating crackers? You put the butter on the crackers.

It’s like finding a thread where people are going “Try butting butter on the toast. I know it sounds weird [no?] but you gotta try it.” and others “Oh yeah my grandma used to do that”

intensely_human,

Well at least he’s not on fire

intensely_human,

Hi smile does reach his eyes. You can cover his lower face and still see that he’s smiling.

intensely_human,

Until now

intensely_human,

I play high intensity first person shooters, mostly Battlefield, to unwind.

The faster paced the better because it allows me to escape.

It used to be I’d get so worked up over competitive games. I had to be doing PvE to relax. Not so any more.

Weirdly, this happened after I had a completely horrible medical experience that left me with permanent (figurative) scars on my nervous system. Like, I still have stress problems four years after the event.

But at that moment, suddenly competitive games became refreshing to me.

intensely_human,

You should study cognitive surplus. What you’re dealing with is a daily workload that has more decisions in it than your brain can handle and still have energy left over.

intensely_human,

CBD is anti-inflammatory.

Sometimes anxiety is a result of inflammation. Sometimes it’s not.

intensely_human,

I know, right?

intensely_human,

Hamas was elected seventeen years ago.

intensely_human,

I try to think about my next work day before. I recently sat down and made a big nested bullet list of all the aspects of my job I need to master, and that helped.

I make sure to tell my clients that I’m not an expert at what I’m doing and that we need to move carefully. When I say thinks I’m not sure of, I let people know that it’s just speculation.

Mostly I just try to remember that I’m learning, that I’m capable of learning, and that as long as I continue to try, my competence will increase steadily.

Also, I make extensive use of other more experienced people who do my same job. I show them work I’ve done and ask for their criticism and advice.

I try to maintain respectful and friendly relationships with my collaborators, but this is very difficult as my mental health is poor. To the end of being my best self and not my shittiest self, I try to avoid inflammatory foods, keep my hydration going, and exercise.

Mostly my attitude responds to whether or not I’m doing my best. If I don’t do my best, and give everything I have, then my attitude goes downhill fast and I feel resentful, afraid, bitter, angry, and it shows up in my work.

intensely_human,

Only if the person being asked is compelled to answer.

intensely_human,

Especially with the bodies in the creek. Snowmelt would push them that direction.

intensely_human,

Yes I know I’m saying polite words in an extremely unpleasant tone. No, I can’t control it right now, or rather I’m controlling it as much as I can. Yes, I know you don’t believe me because it’s not that way for you. Yes this sucks.

intensely_human,

Who cares?

Definitions are useful, and their usefulness is in proportion to their stability over time.

intensely_human,

This. You have to be a fucking monster to think a missing person shouldn’t be found.

intensely_human,

I’ve found this about myself after extensive trial and even more extensive error:

  • My body seems to use up potassium fast when I’m stressed. No idea why. But taking potassium seems to help me recover when I’m feeling burnt out (I have an HPA axis problem so my stress response isn’t normal)
  • Low carb diet (under ~125 grams per day) makes me functional in a way antidepressants, adderall, modafinil, tony robbins, ayahuasca, zen training, therapy, etc never could. I’ve never done keto but low carb is incredible for me
  • I have no sense of thirst so keeping a nalgene bottle nearby helps me a lot (the 1-liter capacity is important for tracking my water intake, and this is why the new 828-ml standard for sports drinks pisses me off)
  • Wheat gives me systematic inflammation, resulting in miserable outlook on life for about three days. It’s dose-dependent. I can have a piece of toast and be fine but if I eat half a loaf of bread, then I hate everyone and everything the next couple days
intensely_human,

“Whew! At least that’s over!”

— Me literally every time I clock out

(hint: it’s not over)

intensely_human,

The first problematic thing it does is have the name Autism Speaks while not in any way providing a voice to autistic people.

Why are we as humans obsessed with mass-extinction of our species?

I was having a conversation with my friend about this. We were discussing AI and she believes AI will destroy all of humanity just like so many others. I personally don’t believe that. I’m aware of all the theories and the multitude of ways that it could happen and I understand that with AI, in theory we wouldn’t...

intensely_human,

What qualifies a physicist to discuss the immortality of a civilization?

intensely_human,

Playing a piano can do this because the velocity of each keypress is a big part of the expression, and it’s a scalar value meaning infinite degrees of possible variation.

intensely_human,

What can I do to make amends?

Be a good person, try to do the right thing, be a positive influence in the world

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