telegra.ph

Imgonnatrythis, to memes in [Tutorial]How to impress her Dad

“No worries, I’m not trying to get her home. I really just have my sight set on a blow job at this point.”

Omgarm, to comicstrips in "Offensive Meme" by HalfThoughtComic

It’s good to know the devil keeps the hell criteria up to date with society.

bloubz, to memes in Wait... nevermid you're right.

3 years of a toxic relationship with my ex. I did something awful by reading her Messenger texts, could not say anything about the terrible things I saw

Valmond,

But now you can!

bloubz,

I did! They felt betrayed, as I had

radioactiveradio, to memes in Every Job person now

Do I even get paid for doing it? Also no.

Aux, to memes in Every Job person now

Just find a job which you love and which pays a lot, problem solved!

ondra5,

I can confirm that this works. It’s what I did and I’m a lot happier than when I worked a job with an average salary.

tdawg,

Unironcally. I think is what to do but backwards. You should try out the paths that lead toward the best paid jobs until you find the one you like the most. People get top caught up on finding their “dream job.” Your team, the company, and the culture will have a bigger impact on your mental health than the tasks anyway

linearchaos, to memes in I lose mine last month :(
@linearchaos@lemmy.world avatar

I mean, they fit on a keychain, which is fucking great; Sadly, they stab you through the pants pocket so they’re fucking rude.

Lifebandit666,

I just upgraded mine from an old Apple one to a newer Pixel one, which has a sturdier loop on it.

linearchaos,
@linearchaos@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t know what in the hell I did, I have one of the solid circular round ones with a small hole in the back for the keychain. It’s been on my keys for ages. One morning I went to put my seat belt on and got a sharp stab. I pulled my keys out and it was bent 90° and I just the tiniest little bit of blood on it.

mp3, to memes in I lose mine last month :(
@mp3@lemmy.ca avatar

I do tech support, I always have one on my keychain.

skqweezy,

Ngl that’s pretty smart to keep one on a keychain, better than keeping it in the original box

hdgdlfiuebdtus, (edited )

I’ll adapt the keychain thing

shiveyarbles,

I would manage to jab tf out of myself

frostycakes,
@frostycakes@lemmy.ml avatar

I used to keep one on my keys back when I worked at a carrier store selling phones. Made life so much easier then.

In fact, the actual inserted part broke off years ago (and I haven’t done phone sales in over a decade), but the main part of the body is actually still attached to my keyring. I haven’t even thought about that until this post, actually.

ChickenLadyLovesLife, (edited )

The dude who sold me my latest smartphone this year had one long fingernail. I kinda thought it was a coke nail until he applied my screen protector and used the nail to separate the plastic backing from it. Aha!

I studied classical guitar in high school and since I could never keep my real fingernails intact I always had three plastic nails going on my right hand. That was a tough one to explain to the local bullies.

heavy, to comicstrips in "Choices" by J.L. Westover

I don’t mean to pick on this comic, rather the culture in general, but this self deprecation, everything is shit trope is getting a little played out. There’s probably 50 variants of this joke on everyone’s feed and it’s kinda just a downer.

Holzkohlen, to memes in ...Then you select it, and the Captcha fails.

They must have increased the difficulty at one point cause I ain’t kidding, I cannot solve them anymore. I swear to god I donit correctly but it never works.

Brickhead92,

01001000 01101001 00100000 01100110 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100

EddoWagt,

Same, I had to login to steam by solving one of these and I just couldn’t… Not sure why it’s so difficult all of a sudden

Takios,

That could happen when the system has already flagged you as unwanted traffic. It just keeps giving you Captchas to solve until you eventually give up voluntarily.

Johanno, to comicstrips in "This Show" by Chris Hallbeck

Be me:

watch on demand

Skip boring parts.

If skipping leads to 20% remaining watch time, drop it.

Regret even starting it and then start another shitty series which you know won’t entertain you

Duamerthrax,

I’ve noticed that I’ll give a show part way into its second season before dropping it if it’s annoying me. Sometimes a show fixes itself once it finds what it wants to be. Other times, it doubles down on the stupid. The Flash, RWBY, and the BSG remake were this way for me.

Deceptichum,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Next level is watching YouTube summaries of shows and movies.

Viking_Hippie,

Next level after that is to forsake all joy and quality of life by skipping to the comments of the YouTube summaries without watching.

CaptnKarisma, to memes in Later me will manage

I too like to live dangerously.

Fiivemacs,

Took me a long time to change the batteries in the smoke detector. Only did it because it stopped beeping. I too like to live dangerously

BruceTwarzen,

My smoke detectors are still in the original packaging.

Smoogs, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

Seriously though I’m amazed at how many people don’t understand basic cooking and how easy and necessary it is to take interest in self health and basic nourishment. But then get shocked when their organs start to shut down before 50. Like “omg they are trying to kill us all with salt and sugar in fast food” shouldn’t be a shock anymore. It’s capitalism. That’s how it works. They don’t care about your body.

SpaceNoodle, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

Oh, god’s one of those assholes.

EvilEyedPanda, to memes in Can't outsmart your teacher

Genuinely why I miss my blackberry, I could type out a message while looking straight ahead

ultra,

You can still type while not looking on a smartphone.

ThatWeirdGuy1001,
@ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world avatar

Love how this is downvoted when I do this all the time

lugal,

People, including me, are just jealous.

I didn’t downvote but I’m jealous

bleistift2,

Wee call cnof the massegez thart a3e dent thif waz.

KairuByte,
@KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Swipe keyboards makes typing without looking trivial. It’s also not that hard to do regularly. Now, throw in some symbols and stuff and it’ll likely get harder. But touch typing on a modern smartphone isn’t hard at all. I typed this whole comment with out looking at the keyboard, and only needed to “edit” sections I changed my mind on.

ThatWeirdGuy1001,
@ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah just because you’re bad at it doesn’t mean everyone is

Typed without looking intensifies

EvilEyedPanda,

Don’t look at me when you type like that!

SCB,

As a former teacher, this is still extremely obvious.

mapiki,

I want to test this out. Let’s see how it goes. Today I went skiing and I have a pet rabbit.

Holy shit. I expected at least one typo

EddoWagt,

Autocorrection?

mapiki,

Maybe! I had my eyes closed so didn’t see what was happening until I opened them. I kind of want to experiment more.

jdf038,

Let’s see if that works with auticirrext and eating burgers.

Almost. Hilariously “autocorrect” didn’t auto correct. Hmm.

ColeSloth,

I had t9 on lock back in the day. Write and send a message without having to look at my phone at all. Sure, there was no internet on there, but that tiny Nokia would stay charged for like 5 days and survive a 20 foot drop on cement without a case.

Fun fact: they would NOT survive being dropped into a gallon of polyurethane floor finish :-(

charlybones, to memes in Relatable to everyone

As an adult I’ve often tried to be conscious of when different aches are not happening. Maybe it’s a sign of getting old.

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