Not even mean, borderline conspiratorial in terms of fake stuff. I guess people have been “burned” a lot by fake stuff in the past, but even when something’s fake they bring out every pitchfork available. It’s like they don’t understand the concept of entertainment. Not everything has to be real to be entertaining.
I think I’ve seen more internet rioting over fake stuff than I have over genuinely bad things.
I just had someone here accuse me of being part of an astroturfing campaign because I disagreed with them about FOSS licensing. At that point I just stop responding because there’s no use having an argument about whether my entire comment history is just a facade to cover for my secretly paid-for opinions about FOSS.
I think that the “post-truth” world that is blossoming in Right-wing political circles, where incorrect facts are hand-waved away as “differences of opinion”, is causing people elsewhere to react defensively and be very guarded against any actual differences of opinion, and some are overreacting and treating any difference of opinion as immediately suspect or even malicious.
Lemmy has a specific tech slant problem where inevitably if you post anything which is even tangentially tech related (such as sharing a spreadsheet on google), you will inevitably get someone complaining or ranting about big tech, providing a FOSS alternative, and typically chastising you for not knowing/doing better. I would say a good third to half of all comments we remove for not being nice is something cussing out someone else over a tech disagreement, which is a pretty wild problem to have.
I’ve posted some mean answers in the past, so I may share some insights:
Someone had a bad day. Maybe a client berated them, maybe they had a falling out with a family member, maybe they stepped into a dog poop on a rainy day and their umbrella got blown out before a passerby burned their hand with a lit cigarette (too specific? yeah, well…)
Someone decided to self-medicate (booze and weed seem to be popular choices)
Someone forgot to take their meds (high blood pressure can do it, the flu will do it, insomnia or psych meds will do it more)
Someone got a series of the aforementioned.
Generally: people post mean answers when their sense of empathy is either inexistent, or beaten into oblivion.
Once there are enough people in a place, the chance of encountering at least one person in one of those situations, quickly grows to 100%. If the place doesn’t actively discourage that kind of behavior because “engagement”… then you get the likes of Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and similar.
Hey, thanks for your very reflective answer! That all seems somehow valid. Guess I am just a very harmony-seeking person. Can’t even choose the mean options in Video Games sooo…
He added a midquel, Port of Shadows, in 2018, and there are some really good shorts you can find in his Best of collections that are also recent. I’ve found a lot of folks who read them back when have missed these!
I feel like this is a great rec because The Witcher is pretty grimdark and Cook is a grimdark progenitor. Good pick!
I had a good Christmas. Actually got to have a Christmas with my family this year. Last year, I got caught up in that Southwest Airlines meltdown so I didn’t get to spend it with my family. I avoided that this year by flying Delta down to my folks (and SWA did have some issues in the run-up to Xmas again this year due to weather at Chicago-Midway causing some chaos across the SWA system). Still flew SWA home; in fact got home about 30min ago.
Debating whether to go see my friends later today. It’s a 5hr drive and basically today is the only day I can go, and then I have to be back by Friday night. It’s currently 3:30a here. So if I decide to do this, I’d have to leave by noon at the latest. So we’ll see how I feel in the morning.
Nothing big planned for NYE. Probably just get a bottle of champagne for myself and some Chinese takeout, as usual.
Hope everyone enjoyed the holidays, got some time off, and some time for R&R, too!
Not well. I guess I should be thrilled with having gotten the 75% discount at the local brewery today, but this first means I have to have purchased beer. This generally ends poorly. But I’m homeless and got a lot of job declinations last week, so I don’t really know how I’m going to survive past two more weeks, which adds to the stress and leaves me at the point that I’m going to the local brewery.
I have a very good idea of the options available for the indigent after my last job search, and they’re not good, to say nothing of my new fear of being away from my van for several days.
The past days have been a mixed bag. I’ve achieved dember’s objective to get everything at work and at home done before the holidays, but failed 2023’s objective to go on vacation at least once this year without getting sick within the first few days. I’m feeling better now but my voice is gone, so no video message or chat with my family or godchild. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with the latter this year and feel like I’ve sort of failed her. This winter and spring I need to think of some things to do together.
Wanting to spread the holiday cheer (as an unbeliever, Christmas more or less means a break to enjoy time with yourself and your beloved ones), but lack of time and energy means I’ve done the bare minimum this year. Oh well, it’s just one year.
Still, we’re in a very nice and warm place with family, and as Don Hector Salamanca has accurately stated on behalf of apparently pretty much the entire country we’re currently visiting, la familia es todo. And it’s good to see my younger stepdaughter so happy and carefree for a change - she’s had a stressful year, too.
Tomorrow her friend (our fourth, inofficially adopted child) arrives, and in three days we’re on our way to Playa del Carmen where we can introduce the young 'uns to the nice crew at Señor Frog’s and then disappear before embarrassing them any further for being the uncool old farts in the place.
Other than that I expect to spend (and enjoy!) a few weeks without a lot of plans or appointments for a change. Let’s see how that goes.
most people are not capitalists and hold no capital now.
it sounds like you just want to ban big business. i like the idea of removing limited/collective liability. ceos/executives/boards need to risk more jail time for those big salaries and the terrible decisions they make. but also, you could tax the big guys into the ground and provide a ton of social services.
A very wise person once said “the only way to win is to deny the battle”. This advice is working well for me this week. The guy at university that I have developed a strong aversion to keeps trying to talk to me, and I have been ignoring him. If you’re reading this and feeling inclined to call this mean, this situation has arisen because he repeatedly refused to respect my boundaries (and I genuinely cannot express them more explicitly than the literal words “do not touch my laptop”), repeatedly started arguments because he can’t accept his opinions are not facts, and repeatedly obstructed our group project to the point that I ended up doing every single task that was assigned to him, because he either didn’t do it, only did half of it, or did it so badly that it was unusable by the rest of the team. He is quite capable of talking non-stop for 8 hours without even pausing for breath, including talking through lectures, talking over other people, and talking while others are trying to concentrate on their work. He does not think the word “no” should ever apply to him. He has broken my belongings, lied about it, and when confronted about it, neither apologised nor offered to pay for them.
I’ve been getting some pushback on my decision to start pretending he does not exist, because he’s neurodiverse (autism+ADHD+oppositional defiance disorder) and we have to “be kind to him”. I’ve really struggled with this, because I normally have no difficulty getting on with neurodiverse people and I have genuinely tried my best to be understanding with this guy. My default approach to interactions with anyone is to be(e) nice. But that has to be a two-way street. Having had my very reasonable boundaries trampled over multiple times, with all the evidence being that he misses the unspoken social cues, isn’t listening when asked politely, and argues about why “no” should mean “yes” when asked grumpily, my conclusion is that my own self-preservation has to take priority now.
By refusing to engage with him, he has no opportunities to ignore my boundaries (except for his continued attempts to keep talking to me) and he has no opportunities to start arguments. He can’t do any of his usual shit if I completely blank him when he speaks. This is the most control I’ve had over my interactions with him in four months, and it’s the least stressed and suicidal I’ve felt in two months. I would also, perhaps, argue that this is the best way I can “be kind to him”, because the one thing that will consistently make me lose my temper is when someone keeps pushing me even after I’ve told them “no”. Refusing to give him the opportunity to keep pushing me is a kindness to both of us.
Yeah, it’s been an ongoing saga. I’ve tried going to the teachers, but their hands are tied because of his neurodiversity - this is where the “be kind to him” instruction came from last week. And it’s like, I did that for months and all I have to show for it is exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. So, nope. Not doing that. He can just stay away from me.
Pretty good, got a date on Saturday with this super cute girl that has similar interests with me and has autism (like 1/2 my friends have either ADHD/Autism and that seems to magnetize people with either together in a weird way, so that looks like it might work out well), then I have another date not currently on the books but theoretically planned with the girl that I mentioned who was asexual on the Sunday, but not 100% if that’s actually a thing yet.
EDIT: And I have a third date officially in the books with a third girl for a weekday either this week or next.
Unfortunately I’m considering to put an end to a new friendship. It’s like every time I’m around her I trigger her and it becomes a drama. I’ve already tried to adjust again and again but I have to face that I’m just a hedgehog to her and we’re not compatible.
The thing is I love using sarcasm and making slight jabs at people, it’s like second nature to me. Honestly it’s really not that extreme and I’ve asked all my friends and they say they enioy it. But to her these are real personal attacks and enough cause to ruin our time together.
It sucks cuz we had some really good laughs together. But also I’m done with stepping on mines, even when I am careful.
busy, busy weekend. took coco (foster dog) to the community garden volunteer day on saturday morning. my partner had his birthday bash at a local music venue where his band and his friends’ bands played. came back to our house for a garage after party. drove to the adjacent city to hang with folks sunday morning, then came home and watched the extended edition of the lord of the rings: the two towers. i fell asleep during the last hour or so, but i just watched it last weekend, so i’m okay with that. (my partner missed watching it, which is why i rewatched.)
going alcohol-free until valentine’s day, which should be a good little reset.
Its tricky, because how much do I really know about people’s views who I’ve never met? Especially more famous people who might just be crafting a public image. They might be hiding aspects of thier views that are bad publicity, or just being controversial to drum up attention.
First off, the kagi news is a bummer. I’ve really liked it and picked up a subscription mostly because of some buzz I saw around here, but seeing this news is a shame and setting up some red flags in my mind.
But to answer your question, I think I personally have a couple ways I approach this…
If the evidence someone is transphobic, racist, etc…is from a long time ago (eg someone is digging up ancient tweets to prove someone is some sort of “-ist” today), I tend to give them more grace because people should be allowed to change. I know I didn’t have great views on some of this stuff when I was younger and it’s easy to forget these celebrities/people in power are fallible human beings. I’ll take their response to unearthing these views as a sign of whether or not they’re worth supporting going forward. If they’re regretful and seem like they’re trying to do better, I’m good. The kagi creator seems to not pass this standard for me.
If it’s something I want to use/consume and it could impact more than just the individual. JK Rowling is a good example of this. I’d struggle to want to buy any of her books again because I see a clearer line of sight from my purchase to her pocket. But something like Hogwarts Legacy, which I knew I would enjoy and my wife would love, and is made by many people with a passion for her world, I’m OK with it. The line to Rowling is a lot blurrier and impacts people who don’t have a say in what project(s) they work on.
It’s also easier to ignore or skip smaller scale things like an indie game from a deplorable developer vs. the next Marvel/HP/insert your beloved franchise game from someone equally deplorable. None of this is ever perfect and time and attention are finite resources for all of us. If Harry Potter is how you need to unwind because it’s your favorite thing, more power to you. It’s not my job nor anyone else’s to police the things you like or make you feel bad for liking them.
We should all do our best to try and support good people in a system that incentivizes bad people and give ourselves some grace when we (seemingly inevitably these days) find out those people were actually scum.
I think there’s something to be said about timeframe even for individuals who held deplorable views. Purchasing art from a dead artist doesn’t go to supporting their life or spreading their shitty viewpoint - instead it will go to a company which holds the rights or an estate which benefits the family. Unless we happen to know the company/estate is deplorable in some way or another, we shouldn’t judge them based on the connection with the original artist - after all we don’t get to choose our parents and may not hold the same views they do.
100%. And going down that path you can start to enter into the whole “OK, so all companies are bad or do bad things, but I also need to be a functioning member of society.”
I can hate what Shell/Marathon/BP are doing to the environment but I also need to make sure my car gets me to work. Google or Apple can enact terrible policies I disagree with but generally speaking I have to deal with them to have a cell phone. Easier when we’re discussing a piece of artwork (not a core need in life) but it’s where my comment about a system that incentivizes “bad people” really came from.
So I think my moral philosophy is actually closest to show The Good Place now that I see it written out!
I’m on book 1 so far but it’s already quite an accomplishment for me to be reading again. I used to read on my 1h train commute but since I got a new job and the train is only 20 mins anymore I pretty much stopped reading altogether. I’ve decided to get back into it anyway even though it’s only small boats at a time, and I’m really happy to be back :)
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