It’s unfortunate that sometimes parents can’t be there for their little ones because of their own issues, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of compassion (be it as a child or adult). As a therapist, I hope your week goes well and remember today is a new day for something good to happen.
I don’t even text mine, don’t have that type of connection with her. I just pay obligatory visits every few months, and then we talk about the news and share nothing personal.
I’m really curious how the math works for where you think people can retire as soon as their kids start working. Retire at 50? Get kids at 40? Start working at 30?
For me it’s an overwhelming nostalgia bomb which definitely can feel melancholy, as I had a good childhood, and I guess am pining for those good times.
Some think it’s a song alluding to unrequited love. So that is maybe why we get to feel a little down when we hear it. We’re missing something. Maybe the person who sang it to us, the nostalgia for childhood, or maybe we just get the idea that the lyrics sound just as pleading as they are declarative.
Sorry to poo poo the wholesomeness, but you should not be selling your possessions to buy an engagement ring. You should be buying a ring that is within your income to afford. An engagement ring is definitely one of those “it’s the thought that counts” purchases. If it is not, that is a massive red flag.
I mean it can be both right? Maybe the ring he could afford isn’t the ring he wanted to give. And he regarded the ring higher than his own PS4. Could have been fully his own decision.
Now if she DEMANDED a ring of a certain value, of course… But I think we can look for the wholesome explanation here.
Fuck that. An engagement ring is something she’ll have for the rest of her life. You will never be able to give her an engagement ring for the first time again. Stretch a little. Show her how much she means to you. Yes, it’s materialistic, but it’s also important to most women.
We picked our own because we each have to wear it every day, might as well like it. Been together a decade, married for 6 years. Sometimes big sweping “romantic” gestures are for the movies.
Yeah my wife saw her ring before I paid for it. But I still spent a decent amount of money for it. I sold my paid off car and financed a used car to pay for her ring. I don’t regret it one bit. We’ve been married for a decade and a half and she still adores her ring. Different people are different though, and you should know what kind of person you’re proposing to, long before you propose. My wedding ring was $30 on Amazon. LOL. It’s just a titanium jobbie that works perfectly for me.
Yeah, I saw people shooting on the guy for selling his PS4, but I was thinking it’s not that huge of a deal. I’m a gamer, so I got it, but it’s just a PS console.
But God damn that dude went way to far for a fucking ring.
I wanted a new car anyways, and rates on car loans are way better than rates on credit cards or jewelry loans. How is using equity from paid-off assets being bad with money? She’s happy, I’m happy, and we’re doing well.
Thank you, and I agree. It’s interesting to me that the majority opinion on this site is that hoarding money is greedy and evil, yet those same people also refuse to spend it on any major life events. What good is our money to us if we can’t use it to make our loved ones feel appreciated, and our major life events special?
But they had a PS4, wanted an engagement ring instead and sold the PS4 for money they could use to buy the ring. Seems… fine to me? You don’t have to hold on to everything you own.
You don’t have to spend that much for a ring if just wanting a ring is your concern. You can get a ring for like 20$ on amazon if having one is all you care about. If he didn’t want the PS4 anymore why buy him another one?
A bias I’ve noticed on a lot of social media is that a lot of people tend to assume video games are either 0 importance or heavy importance in people’s lives. Like if he gave up his console, it must mean that he sacrificed his dearest hobby for her and that’s why it’s bad. In reality it’s just as likely it was something he used a couple times a month and gave up for something more important.
Hell…skip the whole weird church and contract junk and just don’t get married. Save the money completely. Have a BBQ with friends. Marriage does nothing but waste money
I agree on the whole, but marriage was something from life I wanted to experience. Treating my friends and family to a great party was worth it. Although, mine was probably ten times cheaper than most.
i mean you can have parties for basically free, the point is that the standard wedding is made to milk people for money.
if you want a wedding just hit up a catering company and head to some park or something, and get a second hand wedding dress or just a reasonable normal dress.
I mean you shouldn’t sell your car, but selling what amounts to a toy, in order to buy a bit nicer ring than you can afford, is a good way to get some extra cash AND show that you’re in it to win it.
This is an item that might be used every day for the rest of your life (even beyond your life). You wouldn’t spring for a slightly better one? Moissanite exists, as do lab diamonds if you want to go cheaper and look the same.
Definitely pay more than $500 for something that may outlast you. If you or your spouse doesn’t like the ring because it’s cheap, that’s a worse deal that spending thousands on something that you actually use.
Imagine a ring that costs $10K that is worn every day for 10 years. It looks amazing. $2.74 per time worn. Now imagine a ring that costs $500 that’s only worn once a month for sentimental value. Over 10 years that’s $4.17 per time worn. It’s more expensive because you don’t like wearing it.
No, I wouldn’t buy a ring at all, since rings are a cashgrab.
I can also imagine the 10k invested into something actually useful instead of a futile gesture. Imagine being pragmatic and not buying a trinket by selling your other belongings.
All luxury items are a “cashgrab”. You don’t have to buy any of them. If you wouldn’t buy one at all, why are you commenting? I don’t wear a watch, but I also don’t go on threads about watches and say “I wouldn’t buy a watch at all”.
Forget about money, I think you need to invest your time better.
I’m commenting because I can, and you can’t make me not comment. I can voice my opinion, you can do with it what you will, other than prevent me from saying stuff
is it wholesome to make unwise financial decisions to conform to arbitrary social standards? feels more wholesome to enjoy playing together on the playstation instead, you can get really pretty oxidized titanium rings for basically nothing.
lemmybewholesome
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