lemmyshitpost

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Siegfried, in I don't know how to title this

“Could this human clean the litter box more often?”

Pulptastic, in Hey, the A.I said it not me.

Average touched up photos of white people. Why does she have spaghetti O’s stain around her mouth?

Rejacked,

Because the average of totally spaghetti-o stained and not at all spaghetti-o stained is light spaghetti-o stained mouth corners

swiftcasty, in No nut November is finally over but...

Would you rather have your toilet crave your excrement, or despise you for it?

gibmiser,

Crave it, but in a friendly crackhead sort of way.

Orbituary,
@Orbituary@lemmy.world avatar

I’ll buy you a hamburger if you let me eat your shit.

CaptainEffort,

Definitely crave it. The idea of my toilet begging me not to every time I have to take a dump… or worse yet, quietly crying throughout the process… I’d just rather not tbh

Sway_Chameleon,
@Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world avatar
eager_eagle,
@eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

I want to hug that toilet, and I’m not even drunk

Sway_Chameleon,
@Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world avatar

That toilet is gonna snap one day, get tired of all the shit, and lay porcelain hands on the user.

SocialMediaRefugee,

Feed me!

registrert,
@registrert@lemmy.sambands.net avatar

You’d end up shitting your pants, and then you’d have to deal with your clothes complaining about the smell all day.

KingJalopy,
@KingJalopy@lemm.ee avatar

God damn it I’m going to bed

SocialMediaRefugee,

Or if you have gut rot it just goes “Ohhh…gaaaah! Noooo!!!”

Da_Boom,
@Da_Boom@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

Yeah it’s pleased or horrified depending on the quality of your shit “you really need more fiber man, that consistency is terrible, gross”

“Damn now that’s a pristine shit, delicous, keep looking after yourself”

“Urgh, why do I taste blood in your stool, go see a doctor ASAP”

RubberElectrons, in No nut November is finally over but...
@RubberElectrons@lemmy.world avatar

I will gladly lose this battle.

m0darn, (edited ) in I don't know how to title this

Am I too dense to recognize that everyone is intentionally not saying:

Massive squirt from sloppy pussy (furry)

great_site_not,

Most people are trying to intentionally not remember you said it

Zellith, (edited ) in No nut November is finally over but...

He wants our doo doo and our pee pee!

KingJalopy,
@KingJalopy@lemm.ee avatar

All he’s getting is my knuckle babies

samus12345, in What a steal
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar
LillyPip, in What a steal

The fuck do you think ‘whimsical’ means??

[from Harrison, OH]

Oh I see. Carry on.

brlemworld, in I don't know how to title this

Weeeeeeeeeee!

GreenPlasticSushiGrass, in Also, it's over 2 1/2 hours long.
@GreenPlasticSushiGrass@kbin.social avatar

Why do all movies have to be 2+ hours these days?

Dozzi92,
@Dozzi92@lemmy.world avatar

More ad breaks for eventual streaming service distribution. Two hours? Only 4-5 ad breaks. An additional 20 minutes? Boom, let’s sell more prescription drugs, or candy, or whatever.

jaidyn999, (edited )

Its because of the way they are funded.

Films are funded through venture capital, and investors are looking for the biggest profit. So modest films struggle to get funding, because investors believe size=quality.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Right? And it’s worse than that. I was going to finally sit down and watch the Across the Spider-Verse movie now that it’s on Netflix because it’s almost 2 hours and 20 minutes long and if I couldn’t take sitting there, I could at least take a break. But then someone who saw it told me it isn’t even the whole story and you have to wait for a sequel coming out who knows when which will also probably be that long. I can’t take it. At least give movies an intermission like they used to.

austinfloyd,

Without any spoilers, I felt that the spider-verse movie was enjoyable on it’s own. Where the plot ended was, at least to me, in a good enough spot where I was both extremely satisfied with the movie I just watched and excited for the next film.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’ll bear that in mind if I do decide to sit down and watch it. I was going to do it with my daughter, but she has ADHD and both can’t handle a film that long and also has an annoying habit of saying she wants to watch the rest later and never agrees to watch it when I suggest it later multiple times. I may have to watch it secretly without her.

tomi000, in No nut November is finally over but...

Its 0:50 here and Im literally sitting on the toilet…

lolola,
@lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

better get up off dat

Stanwich, in What's wrong with 'eggs'?

Geez. I can’t compete with those prices.

ummthatguy, in No nut November is finally over but...
@ummthatguy@lemmy.world avatar

I’d nearly forgotten about this scene from Look Who’s Talking Now. Thanks

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-04/enhanced/webdr07/18/18/anigif_enhanced-32510-1397860760-1.gif

gibmiser,

I loved and hated it since the first time I saw it

xusontha,

excuse me?

dingus,

What the fresh hell is this

BossDj, (edited )

Look who’s talking tells some bad romance story, but with a twist that it’s through the eyes of a baby with an adult inner monologue played by Bruce Willis. He mostly tries to figure out the stupid behaviors of adults.

This demon is from the sequel and how the now-toddlee views the toilet. Potty training is a sub plot of the movie.

UnrepententProcrastinator,

You went above in beyond in answering that question! Kudos!

AceFuzzLord, (edited ) in THE DAY HATH COME

I couldn’t remember the clowns name, but a quick search found one John Wayne Gacey.

In a messed up way, it’s kinda fun to see how many people in the image you know the names of.

Son_of_dad, in THE DAY HATH COME

Tbf according to Christians, Dhamer is in heaven. Cause you can just say “sorry Jesus!” And all your murder and cannibalism is forgiven.

Also according to Christians, Dhamer is in heaven and his victims are in hell for being gay, ain’t that some shit?

Outtatime,
@Outtatime@sh.itjust.works avatar

Huh??

jubilationtcornpone,

There is way more nuance to and lack of agreement on these topics than is presented here. Do I think God could forgive Jeffrey Dhamer? Absolutely. Do people go to “hell” for being gay? Absolutely not. First, because hell (as in the place of eternal torment) doesn’t exist. Second, being gay isnt a sin.

And yes, I know there’s an army of other Christians out there who are are foaming at the mouth in disagreement.

Source: am Christian.

SuckMyWang,

You’re not a real Christian /s

GlitchyDigiBun,
@GlitchyDigiBun@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I’ve had the notion of producing some SDXL images of jesus doing hateful things that Christians do, like holding up a “god hates f*gs” sign or roaring and frothing at a trump rally. Make them see what “Christ through them” looks like. Put it on billboards and shit.

SuckMyWang, (edited )

Good idea. It is odd how the old and New Testament seem to be at odds with each other in so many ways yet “Christians” who supposedly follow Christ seem to think “god” or the Old Testament biblical version of him, outweighs christs teachings of god, whenever they feel like being justified in their hatred. They’re closer to Muslim than Christian in their closeness of actions to teachings.

jubilationtcornpone,

To a sizeable number of “Christians”, Jesus is more of an abstract concept than an actual being. Believing he existed is more important than listening to or living out what he had to say. I mean, I’ve actually quoted passages from the bible to people when they try to rug sweep Trumps many moral bankruptcies or start shitting all over poor people or immigrants. And what do they do? They look down at their feet for a few seconds with a sort of guilty expression on their face. Then, they just kind of shake it off and launch right back into whatever bullshit they were spouting before.

If any of those people ever bothered to crack a bible, they would find a fair chunk of it is spent vehemently railing against the things they are pushing for.

GlitchyDigiBun,
@GlitchyDigiBun@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

It’s ome thing to abstract it and another entirely to be staring at a billboard where your god is shown to be as vile and hate-fuelled as you are. Make them get angry about it, and point out at every enfuriated comment that they’re only proving the point.

Son_of_dad,

I mean it’s all made up, we may as well be arguing about valhalla

DJDarren,

Gays are welcome in Valhalla, just so long as they fought valiantly to the death like their hetero brethren.

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