I mean… that’s putting a lot of faith in the dishwasher to work properly every single time you do it. I don’t know if I’ve got enough trust in the 1995 beige “landlord special” under my counter right now.
oh my god, too real 😂 except I was there, my scar is more brutal and I’m all the more stupid for letting it happen. I’ll explain, and I’m going to do so in more detail than I ever have before.
I was living in China in 2017 and I got an infection on my guy. In hindsight because I had a new girlfriend, was having a lot of sex, and wasn’t cleaning very much. My girlfriend takes me to the local hospital in this “small town” (different meaning in China), and I sit down in front of this miserable looking bloke with a fat, fancy golden wristwatch who says: “你有两个选择 。。。either take this medication and the infection will probably return, or ‘peel skin’ and be free of it forever.”
I looked at my girlfriend with a grin and asked what she thought would be best. How bad could it be anyway if they do it to babies. Probably like getting your ears pierced.
She drags her thumb across her throat and screams “off with his head!” or more likely she calmly says “peel skin.” All I remember is that she said it without hesitation. The slimy looking doctor slithers upstairs to the operating room and I get on the table where there’s a large light above my head which, turned off, is acting as a mirror. I can see everything as his assistant passes him the syringe to knock out my guy and then the scalpel to begin the scalping. All I could see was a bloody mess when his phone rang in his pocket. I could smell the blood as his assistant removed the phone from his pocket and answered the call. “They want to speak to you” she said. So the doctor puts the phone between his ear and his shoulder and continues cutting and chatting away. “That’s my dick you prick!”
The next day my guy is bandaged from head to toe. I tell my girlfriend to stop visiting because every time I get an erection I drop to the floor in writhing pain. Limping along the pavement a group of 80-somethings breeze past me. The pedestrian light goes green and I barely make it to the island in the middle of the road before it goes red again. I lie awake every night, plagued by spontaneous erections and excruciating pain. As the wound healed a grotesque scar formed as a reminder that the body is sacred.
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