People with healthy egos are able to register that someone does not want them as a romantic partner without having a crisis, yes.
I see I’ve upset some users today. This may seem like stating the obvious but clearly some people here need to hear it:
If you are emotionally devastated by rejection you likely do not have a healthy ego or self-image. This is the confidence part.
Assigning responsibility for fixing your self-image to a potential romantic partner is seeking external validation for an internal problem.
No amount of external validation will fix you. It will only feed the unhealthy expectations you’re already acting on.
Confidence is the external display of a healthy self-image (overconfidence is another example of external display of an unhealthy self-image).
Potential partners can sense your desperation for validation and it is not an attractive personality trait. It’s basically saying “I need you to do this emotional labor for me because I am not strong enough”.
Surely there exists a middle ground between being devastated by rejection and not registering continuous rejection as, perhaps, a sign that the rejectors have a point.
Emotional resilience is great, but if people keep giving you the same feedback maybe they have a point (and you should try changing, rather than brute forcing your way through social interactions, hoping to get lucky).
I’m not saying that you’re denying this, so I am jumping over some discussion, but tbf I think we’re both doing it.
Yeah, everyone here is like, “If you can’t handle rejection, then you’re WEAK and LACK CONFIDENCE! And you’re the ONLY ONE! Everyone else in the world is strong & emotionally bulletproof except for YOU!”
Why not assume they are having a bad day, they are just out of a previous relationship and they want a break, your just not their type (even if you had all the abs and a chiseled jaw and confidence they wouldn’t be interested), what if they aren’t into your gender, or what if they are in a committed relationship with their horse?
There are a lot of things that can cause it to be a no deal that are not your fault. If you feel like you did a good job asking, then it is probably one of the above.
And yet every other comment on this post is “just have confidence; change how you act and look and you’ll stop being rejected.”
It’s so silly to keep acting like attractiveness has zero to do with dating and likeability. Especially when there are permanent issues that are genetic or medical or whatever that go beyond “get a haircut and buy new clothes.” American society is super judgemental in general when it comes to appearance and aging (especially toward women), and identity. It gets much worse in the dating scene, especially now that it’s so frequently based on swiping left or right on a single photo and you’re competing with filters. Yes, there’s always the possibility of finding a group of people or a person that you fit in with, and you should always put work into finding that (if that’s something you want - not everyone wants to be paired off) but let’s stop throwing realism completely out the window ffs.
It could be, which is why my comment “friends, family, therapy” is useful, I think. If you’re noticing a pattern that’s upsetting you that you think could be an issue, talk with your friends, family, and a therapist about it. It can be difficult to identify issues we bring to relationships. It also might not be anything to do with you, though, so that’s where the support from others can prevent a bad pattern of beating ourselves up unnecessarily comes in.
Someone replied that therapy may be inaccessible, but now more than ever there are tons of sliding scale therapists, groups, etc that can meet in person or online, even for free. And honestly, I’m grappling with the issue myself that I need to prioritize my mental health and not let the monetary set back be an excuse. It’s an investment that will pay off
If romantic comedies have taught me anything, it’s to never take “no” for an answer, and it’s ok to stalk people because it will all just work out in the end when they realize what they’ve been missing this whole time.
This is unironically how my grandparents met, did help that my grandfather was rather intelligent and decently competent. Shame he was a dumbass and gave himself lung cancer, wear a mask when working with aerosols it may save your life.
she came from wealth, yes, but she is also incredibly smart. this person has made a lot of decisions their peers have absolutely failed on, including this kind of investment.
she comes from old money, and they must have taught her well. this is not a trust fund kiddie sittin on their laurels, this is a person who leveraged all the resources made available and worked hard to get what she wanted.
e: hate her music, just followed some transaction rabbit holes like the nft bullshit
Generational wealth = leverage and hard work. Got it 👍. Literally applies to every other rich person such as elon musk and his ideas of tesla and mars.
I agree that she is smart. Never said she wasn’t, some plenty other billionaires that aren’t corrupt also smart.
Dude fuck off. OP is regarded too but you’re just as bad if you don’t know that wealth creates wealth. It’s literally easier for someone born in Taylor Swift’s position to get richer than it would be for them to get poorer.
ha, ok buddy. calm down. it will be o.k. everything is not on fire.
plenty of very rich people have made very poor decisions and paid for it. plenty of rich people have gone through very good schooling and come out useless lumps of air-wasteing flesh.
dont get yourself all worked up because i pointed out one little rich girl didnt make bad decisions, mmmm'kay?
Your the same individual that shits on other rich people like musk, jeff.
Your talking about stupid rich kids who have no idea how money works and then become broke.
You see just like any other celeb, famous person, millionaire. They’re all the same. They work hard and smart. Thats it. The issue on this platform is the hypocrisy.
The fact that you think this shows how unconscious you are. The simple act of hoarding wealth, even passively (which doesn’t even apply to Landlord Swift), is in itself an act of violence. If you don’t agree with this then please go back to whatever popheads echochamber you hide in.
A person like Taylor Swift isn’t sitting down on Excel at the end of every month trying to put together a budget to make it through the next 4 weeks. It’s a completely automated process for her to amass more wealth, which, in a vacuum economy, means less for the 99% and more for her.
1/10th of her net worth is more money than a whole family could spend in a lifetime. Please stop defending her and her ilk or saying that any of her wealth came from education or smart investments.
ha, you werent wrong. i just pointed out she worked hard, and made some non-stupid financial decisions and its like a poked a bees nest of billionaire-hate (which i actuallly understand). but god fobid people have a conversation about a humans talent.
Idk, she goes against right wing and is appluaded on lemmy if you search her name here.
she’s financially smart. She’s got a nice, built diverse portfolio. I don’t understand as an individual, its smart to be rich in this capital society 🤷♂️
You think that, in this day and age, with her political leanings, with the amount that she shouts about them, the woman who wrote and published the song Rainbow Dress would be afraid of coming out as gay to the point of lying when pressed to admit it because she is afraid homophobes will stop listening to her music?
So you’re saying she’s afraid of losing her famously numerous male followers? Or that her female followers (many of whom think she’s gay regardless of what she says in interviews) will start coming on to her because they now think they have a chance?
Since it appears you missed my sarcasm, Taylor Swift has a statistically insignificant number of male followers, and the ones who would think they have a chance more than likely think she’s gay regardless.
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