memes

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ElBarto, in Oof
@ElBarto@sh.itjust.works avatar

My watch gave up on me and would patronize me when I walked to the fridge by saying “Congratulations” for just walking down the hall.

appel,

I think I had that one as well. With the fireworks and everything? Yikes dawg…

ElBarto,
@ElBarto@sh.itjust.works avatar

Yeah, it puts on a big show about it, I thought it was funny the first few times, but it became an asshole about it, standing up triggered it once.

lseif, in No context

can bidet fanatics just leave people alone? im sure they are better, not everyone has the money or time to install one. also, i have a feeling they just dont know how to wipe properly.

MostlyGibberish,

I mean, that goes both ways. As an American, and especially as a guy, I often get sideways looks when I mention I have a bidet. If you can’t or won’t try it out, fine, but people are really acting like it’s strange to clean yourself off using water.

ExLisper,

Move to Spain. Every apartment has a bidet here. It’s as normalized as a jam stand in your kitchen.

Donebrach,
@Donebrach@lemmy.world avatar

You live in a sad, small-minded reality, friend. Enjoy your needlessly poopy butt-hole.

cosmicrookie,
@cosmicrookie@lemmy.world avatar

They don’t have to be actual installations. You can mount one on to you toilet for less than $30 although I’d suggest spending a bit more

lseif, in Were back baby!

when lemmy goes down, you use an alt on a different instance.

when r*ddit goes down, you go outside.

VikingHippie, in Oof

Me when I pet a dog and my watch thinks I’m going for a run 😄

Vitaly, in Why is the Cat Screaming?
@Vitaly@feddit.uk avatar

It’s a rat!

ReakDuck,

No its a dog!

Axiochus, in Good one Nana.

I don’t get it. 🤔

M1st3rM,

Yeah she just honestly answered the question. I don’t get it either

SpaceNoodle,

You smush bug with shoe

It’s not a joke

Cysioland,
@Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml avatar

She uses a shoe to kill the pests, so it’s her method of pest control

Bitlummo, in Which pill do you choose?

Easy blue pill. If I had to redo my teenage years I would have told my ex-wife to fuck off before giving her a chance. Then I wouldn’t have my son and he is literally everything to me. Definitely couldn’t watch my son see his mom leave him again.

KeenFlame, in Radically different

Who did you imagine is the same at home and in public?

Beetschnapps, in We need to stop attempts to normalize grind/hustle lifestyle

🎵“Thank you for being a friend…” 🎶

Nurse_Robot, in Just a little tired

🥲

spaphy, in No context

I don’t think I’m going to smell anyone’s asshole in a nearby future and I pray you don’t either, friend.

Wipe until clean, spray your anus with water, just get the job done and shower often.

UnfortunateShort,

If only most wet wipes weren’t non-flushable (even if they say they are, many are in fact not) and terrible for the environment. Still have to find a good brand.

spaphy, in Water, water, everywhere...

Dude wipes coming in clutch. Watch me clean my asshole all day long friends.

moistclump, in Good one Nana.

I bet it wasn’t even a joke. Just an honest answer to the question. Which makes it even funnier.

AVincentInSpace, in No context

Hello fellow Jerboa user!

Open source Lemmy clients ftw!

velox_vulnus,

OP is the dev for both Jerboa and Lemmy, btw.

AVincentInSpace,

oh wow did not know that!

ExLisper,

You commenting here proves you’re not using Jerboa. Or was the keyboard bug finally fixed?

AVincentInSpace,

Considering I have no idea what you’re talking about I’ll say it was.

There is a bug with the GrapheneOS keyboard being strangely buggy when backspacing (it gets confused about where the word starts so if you delete the last letter of a word it will instead delete the space just before the word which is annoying as hell) however that bug is definitely not exclusive to Jerboa and only happens with that keyboard so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

ExLisper,

Yep, that’s the bug I’m talking about. I had it and I’m not using GrapheneOS so for me the app was ‘read only’ and I stopped using it. And it was exclusive to Jerboa for me, all the other apps work fine.

withnail, in Good one Nana.

One time a phone demon called my mom and tried to convince her that her grandson was in jail and she needed to send the police dozens of phone cards right away or he was in big trouble. And that’s not even the worst one. I wish she just got calls trying to get her to buy bug spray.

BonesOfTheMoon,

My aunt got one of those calls too asking for bail money, and so did her cousin who almost fell for it.

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