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Laticauda, in Firefox reader view 🔛🔝

Ublock is down there in the trenches battling face to face with the ads for our sake and you dare to insult them? Reader view would be disappointed in you.

FlyingSquid, in Everytime
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

My daughter was so bullied, we had to pull her out of public school and put her in online school. The school did virtually nothing about it no matter how much we pleaded with them. Even when a girl doxxed her and started prank calling her the school gave both her and my daughter a talking to as if it was my daughter’s fault and that was it.

radioactiveradio,

My bully flicked an ink refill at my face, went into my eyes, and right in front of the teacher. I punched him, was taken to the principal and he made me APOLOGISE TO THE BULLY, and shake hands with him. The whole education system is broken.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

She doesn’t even fight back. She doesn’t like to do that. I’ve tried to tell her to do it and she just doesn’t have the self-esteem. It’s been bullied out of her. I wish I had taken her out sooner. I feel pretty guilty about that. But I didn’t really accept that it was a situation that would not be resolved until Halloween, where she wore a really cool anime cat girl costume which looked exactly like a character she loves- I don’t remember the name- that my wife made for her. I’m not big on anime, but it was like high-end cosplay level when it came to a costume. My wife is really talented. She was so excited that she wouldn’t even take it off all day after my wife finished it. She wore it to school and basically the entire school told her she was a furry and her costume was terrible and made fun of her the entire day. She got up the next day and broke down and said she couldn’t go to school anymore and we realized that was something that is not fixable.

BleatingZombie,

This might be a long shot, but ask her if she’d be interested in learning martial arts. She doesn’t need to “learn how to fight” for it to give her more confidence. It worked for me

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve asked her before. It doesn’t interest her. She’s not an athletic kid. Also, there are other issues I can’t get into.

radioactiveradio,

While it’s generally good to avoid confrontations and walk away, it’s a good idea to know atleast basic self-defense. School was a terrible experience for me as people with low self-confidence tend to make easy targets for bullies. I hope your daughter gets through school without much trouble. Please do support her. Sometimes it’s not easy for kids to tell people cuz of ego or just the general distrust for adults. Also whoever thought putting a bunch of puberty riddled kids into one room was an idiot.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Middle school is the worst time in school. Kids are absolute monsters at that age.

uis,
@uis@lemmy.world avatar

Aligns with my experience

cristalcommons,

that’s horrible, pal, i’m so sorry :'( how is she doing now, if you want to share?

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

She’s still not great, but it’s only been a couple of weeks. She needs time to heal. She’s not going back to a public school until next year at the earliest, and not that school. Unfortunately, I had to quit my job to help her with her online classes, but we’ll manage.

uis,
@uis@lemmy.world avatar

I hope both of you are good. It is really sad to see something like this happen.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks. She’s not great yet, but she’ll get better. I have my own problems.

SuddenDownpour,

You’re a great parent. I wish you strength.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you.

FreshLight,

put her in online school

the school did virtually nothing

uis, (edited )
@uis@lemmy.world avatar

Another school, obviously

GreenMario, (edited )

Teachers play favorites and they always loved the psychopaths.

Wandering_Uncertainty,

You might have had bad teachers and bad admin, true - but more likely, the school can’t do anything.

I’m a teacher, and I cannot tell you how incredibly frustrated I am at how tied my hands are. The admin can’t do much, either.

My options: talk sternly to the student. Talk sternly to the parent/guardians. And
 that’s it.

Send them to the office? Sure. The principal also has those two options, for the most part. Suspending students is something we only do in very rare circumstances, but they really, really try to avoid it, because so often, kids are acting out because of stuff at home, so suspending them only makes the behaviour worse.

We can’t do detentions after school or on weekends - we can’t force parents to bring their kids in then. Lunch hour detentions, we can’t afford dedicated staff to run them, especially since we’d also need them to chase the students down, because it’s not like they’ll go just because they were told to. We can’t fail students any more.

Our district has also even gotten rid of prizes for achievements - no more honor roll, no awards, nothing. Apparently this makes the low performers feel bad, and we couldn’t have that.

And talking to the parents? Most parents are honestly great, but also, I never talk to them, because the kids with the great parents, I never need to call home. The asshole kids? Their parents are almost always a nightmare. And it’s a waste of time to talk to them.

One kid last year, went after another kid’s field trip paperwork with a pair of scissors. Ripped into her like no one’s business. Sent an email home describing the situation. I was pretty sure, based on her history, she wasn’t really going to destroy his stuff, she was trying to get a rise out of him, so I said something like, “while I believe she was only intending to annoy him, not actually destroy property, it is critical for her to understand that this is absolutely unacceptable behaviour” or something like that.

So rather than telling her kid off, mom goes to the principal to try to get me in trouble for calling her kid annoying.

In application? Doesn’t matter what the teachers or even admin want to do. The district, province/state, and country have taken away practically every carrot and stick, when it comes to students with extreme behavior.

It’s a huge mess.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I can understand all of that, but when one kid doxxes another and starts making prank calls, which we provided evidence of- we had logs and voicemails- and the administration admonishes both kids, that’s on them, not on anyone else. They didn’t have to lecture my daughter about bullying the other girl when she was the one being attacked.

DarkenLM,

If your daughter was doxxed, can't you file a criminal complaint directly with the police? At least where I live, it would be grounds for a criminal investigation.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

People have tried many times and it never works. Not in the U.S.

See here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doxing#United_States

DarkenLM,

Damn, that's a shame. He in the EU, there's tons of laws that can be used on cases like that, and many times, they are and work.

Hope things get better for you in the future.

IHadTwoCows,

The EU is a civilized first world society, unlike the US

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks.

Wandering_Uncertainty,

In that case, yeah, you’ve got an admin problem. I’m sorry - that really sucks. The entire system desperately needs an overhaul. The education system in Canada is a dumpster fire, and the US is even worse. Dealing with behavioral issues is one of many major problems


FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks. At least we have a solution, even if that solution involves me quitting my job. She’s more important than my job anyway.

ArmokGoB,

Send them to the office? Sure. The principal also has those two options, for the most part. Suspending students is something we only do in very rare circumstances, but they really, really try to avoid it, because so often, kids are acting out because of stuff at home, so suspending them only makes the behaviour worse.

As someone who was bullied all the way until the start of high school, I would probably look the other way if my hypothetical children seriously hurt someone over repeated bullying. I think any alternative is better than that for everyone involved.

terminhell,

I had an unusual lesson from my parents regarding bullies. They told me, that if they found out that the I didn’t even try defending myself from bullies and found out, I’d still get whooped at home. It seems kinda cruel at surface level. But when the time ultimately came, dam straight I fought back tooth and nail. And no, they were not abusive in any way. Even reflecting back as an almost 40yr old adult. They were both prison guards/swat people. So they had a very different perspective of bullying I guess.

vanderbilt, in Google now
@vanderbilt@beehaw.org avatar

When people make a big stink about Apple not implementing RCS I always bring this up. RCS has an open core sure - but it’s lacking plenty of features that people refer to when talking about RCS. Furthermore, the gateways used for Google’s RCS implementation are made by a company Google acquired. Would we be happy with Apple charging cell providers money to install iMessage gateways at whatever cost they wanted, because they hold the patents? No, so why would we give Google a pass?

If we want to fix this issue, force Google to relinquish their control of RCS and open the standard unencumbered with patents. Require telecoms to implement the standard in full and without deviation or be fined. Give phone manufacturers a few more years to comply and then it’s done.

cyclohexane,

While true, apple remains the bigger hurdle here. They don’t seem even willing to cooperate.

F04118F,

Are you running for a seat in the European Parliament next year?

vanderbilt,
@vanderbilt@beehaw.org avatar

Unfortunately I’d be running from Italy and well, we are a bit boneheaded at the moment.

TJmCAwesome,

You ain’t kidding!

interolivary,
@interolivary@beehaw.org avatar

Ouch. My condolences.

But hey, it’s not just you though; here in Finland we’ve had eg. multiple literal neo-Nazis in the government – one had to quit because, you know, he is a neo-Nazi, but the extremist right wing party he’s from replaced him with a pedophile neo-Nazi – and our Speaker of the Parliament has publicly fantasized on his blog about murdering gay people. And that’s just the highlight reel, it gets so much worse.

Europe’s a bit fucked, honestly.

Mamertine, (edited ) in those ppl...

My search results keep wanting me to go to Reddit. I’m trying to avoid it, but it keeps calling.

I’m not scrolling there like I did before the “Spez killed the 3rd party app migration”. I miss the level of engagement and ease of finding communities. Lemmy is decent, but the post volume is lacking. If I scroll new now, and again 12 hours later, there’s not much new stuff before I see the stuff from last time.

Stumblinbear,
@Stumblinbear@pawb.social avatar

I remember when there was a huge amount of complaints when Reddit updated and the top posts started cycling multiple times per day (or per hour) instead of hanging around most of the day

gamermanh, (edited )
@gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I dunno, I browse every 2 or so hours at work at while yeah I’ll find some of the same stuff, the vast majority of my scrolling is new

variants,

Because everyone is only half in and going to Reddit still like crack addicts

sock,

bros talking like we’re fighting some kind of battle my man ur browsing short form content on the internet calm down

ur not better than anyone and nobody is better than you while yall be death scrolling this brain rot

variants,

I just want non monetized media to survive in the future. not everything has to be designed to be addictive and for profit so it’s just sad that people couldn’t hold out from reddit long enough to make a difference or just plain don’t care

sock,

you care because youre a reddit addict

shit i care because im a reddit addict from rif

a lot of folks just use the app for their content and its not really that deep, its an unnoticeable change if you werent using 3rd party stuff anyways

though im not sure why people still like the app, its attrocius but then again people liked apollo and apple products for some reason and them hoes ugly asf interfaces too

Wiithout sugar coating it, lemmy sucks (for viewing content like reddit. discussion is a bit better on lemmy kinda). theres no active niche communities and the only content is about israel and linux. the porn sucks too its just pictures so lemmy isnt a very attractive place for reddit people.

theangryseal,

Not everyone.

If sit down at my desk and use my pc I’ll click the old Reddit bookmark and go on for about 5 minutes. That has only happened about 3 times since Apollo shut down. I almost exclusively used my phone for Reddit before that. Now I bounce between Voyager and YouTube. YouTube for background noise while I’m working, Voyager when I’m idle.

Klystron,

Don’t speak for me boyo, I’m 110 days clean

Imgonnatrythis,

Try Kagi. I’m totally hooked. It’s a refreshing search experience and you can rank reddit as a lower level site so it can still come up, but less likely to be at the top of your search list all the time.

sleeperdouge,

I have a similar experience, only visiting reddit for stuff like tech problems and very niche communities. I had never willingly visited the reddit homepage since.

There are a lot of posts now on lemmy compared to before the reddit fiasco but is not like the activity on reddit. The good thing though is that it made me stop my habit of mindlessly scrolling through endless content.

meekah,
@meekah@lemmy.world avatar

yeah having switched to linux recently it’s pretty much impossible to go without reddit. sure, superuser and generally linux forums do have a bunch of answers, but a lot are on reddit as well.

sol87,

Too many top linux answers are gone now and i dont really find reddit very usefull for finding answers to linux problems anymore unless its a brand new problem with alot of people suddenly posting about it.

meekah,
@meekah@lemmy.world avatar

IDK, I just know I had to visit reddit quite a few times when googling linux stuff. maybe it’s because I’m still new and looking for relatively basic stuff

InputZero,

Naw fam, I’ve been using Linux for years and I still goto Reddit threads for problem solving. I’m not like a guru or anything but I’m not new. I’ll try other sources first but I have no problem going to Reddit second.

jaybone,

I still find most Linux answers on SO.

It’s pretty rare that a search leads me to Reddit, though it does happen on rare occasion.

What distro(s) are you searching for that lead you to Reddit?

WYLD_STALLYNS,
@WYLD_STALLYNS@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Curious what distro’s myself. Though makes me think that there should be a distro suggestion for new Linux here.

mriormro, in Stereotypes are wrong and bad
@mriormro@lemmy.world avatar

Speaking as a straight cis male who’s on the verge of asexuality, it’s been incredibly difficult and oftentimes alienating having discussions of sexuality and sexual insecurities with my other cis male friends because a lot of the discussion tends to veer into vulgarity or jesting. Then there’s the conversations you have with your partners and sometimes some of those partners implying that you’re not ‘man enough’, etc.

I understand that a lot of this is due to toxic masculinity but I’ve gotta say, it’s been pretty tough.

Knusper,

Yeah, I hate how girls will be disgusted when it’s somehow suggested you’d want to have sex with them, while at the same time, I don’t feel like I’m even supposed to have an opinion.

It’s like, I’m a man, not in a relationship, not gay and not good at pretending I’ve never heard of sexuality, so if I don’t want to have sex with a girl, that must mean I find her extremely ugly.

Theharpyeagle,

I mean, it may depend on the context, but I think it’s pretty reasonable to feel uncomfortable if it’s apparent that someone is thinking about having sex with you while you’re just trying to have a conversation.

Knusper,

I’m not at all trying to say that I don’t think that’s reasonable. I’m complaining that I don’t feel like I have an influence on the matter.

Sometimes, you accidentally say something with a double meaning that can be interpreted sexually and it’s the girl who points that out and then assumes you’re thinking perverted things, because she’s been told anyone with a penis does that all the time.

I am annoyed by that, because I’m a big fan of girls and don’t want to convey that they’re just meat to entertain my sexuality. If you’re reading me as a tone-deaf pervert, that will not make sense.

Theharpyeagle,

From the other side, for a lot of women don’t just hear that people do that (though there are many firsthand accounts), they experience it. Even if you don’t mean anything by it, they’ve likely been the victim of enough purposefully suggestive comments that they’re sensitive to it. It’s not really your fault, but it’s not theirs, either.

Out of curiosity, do you have some examples of misconstrued phrases?

Knusper,

Oh yeah, for sure. I hate all the slimy idiots that can’t speak with a woman without perverted comments and everyone who defends them.

I did have a specific example in mind when I wrote the above, but it happened in German, so the double meaning won’t make quite as much sense:
I was working with a lady colleague on wrapping articles and whenever we had completed one, we placed it into a larger carton for shipping. Each of us had our own larger carton that we filled.

Well, and one time, I went to put my article away, but got shortly confused and then exclaimed “Oh, now I just wanted to shove it into yours.”.

And then, yeah, she asked, if I’m aware what I just said, and I replied that I am, but I only noticed after I had said it. Enqueue awkward silence.

So, there was no actual problem. She was no fan of me having said that, but she understood that this happens and knew me already well enough that I was honest about it.

I just thought about it afterwards and realized that I didn’t even actually desire traditional, penetrative sex with her.

I do think sexuality in general is cool, as in two consenting adults making each other feel good. And she is gorgeous. She often talked about how she visited the gym and worked on her body and one time admitted that she felt self-conscious about it.
So, there was a certain curiosity what her body looks like and I would have loved to tell her that she’s a fucking dumbass for being self-conscious about it. And yeah, sure, some amount of instinctive sexual desire will be involved. I can’t shut that part of my brain off completely.

But all of that is ignoring that I’m a fucking dumbass, too. I’m also self-conscious about my body. And I don’t train, I actually have a reason to be self-conscious. As incumbent of the male gender role, I’m not supposed to, but that doesn’t sit well with me.
I would need a lot of trust to believe that a girl actually wants to have sex with me, both because I don’t find my body desirable and because I care about consent beyond yes or no. A girl enduring sex with me, just because she likes me in other ways, that sounds like the worst kind of hell for me.

But yeah, none of that mattered in that situation.

Zamotic,

“Whatever
 stop talking to me. You clearly just want to get into my pants. What?!? You DON’T want to sleep with me? Why the eff not?! Am I not good enough for you? Not pretty enough?!”

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

AngryCommieKender,

Not if you are old enough. The only nice part about being in my early 40s is that when I tell someone that, “yes, I’m that picky/shallow,” they seem to just accept it and move on. I’m old enough that when I tell someone “this is the bare minimum that I expect,” they accept that and move on.

The only strange part for me at this point is that the bare minimum I expect is that you a) are able to take care of your own needs, just as I do, b) are keeping up with your exercise routine, and will be willing to help both of us in pushing each other to better heights, and c) you aren’t vapid, and can actually hold a conversation. I’m not interested in being your professor/father/educator exclusively. I want to challenge you, just as much as you challenge me.

Literally every potential partner I have met cannot fulfill these, IMHO, pretty basic requirements. The only real benefit of being this shallow/picky is that now people finally respect my choices.

aksdb,

a sounds reasonable. But b and c sound like big expectations where I would doubt that I could fulfill them all the time and then I would disappoint. So these two points sound to me like a lot of pressure.

AngryCommieKender,

They are a lot of pressure. They are the same pressure I put on myself, so yeah. Not many people push themselves the way I do, so not many people would even want to live my lifestyle. Especially as it isn’t very rewarding in a material sense.

aksdb,

Ah then it is fine. No judgement. I just wanted to make sure you don’t underestimate their implications and your wording sounded a bit like you consider them the normal baseline.

barsoap,

If you want to challenge them then how are b) and c) prerequisites? Where’s the challenge when it’s already there? If you want to be challenged then are you ready to be challenged in areas other than that? What if someone wants you to challenge to b) eat healthy home-made food every day and c) develop the grace and skill to tame a social situation with smalltalk, instead of insisting that every verbal utterance be a philosophical dissertation?

AngryCommieKender,

Neither of your “challenges” are such. I already do both things by myself. I want to improve myself, not just maintain.

barsoap,

What happens when you two disagree on what would actually be an improvement?

AngryCommieKender,

A discussion, I would imagine. That’s how I deal with disagreements between myself and others .

barsoap,

What if you judge it as vapid because it doesn’t align with what you consider valuable improvement? What if it’s nigh impossible to express verbally?


all I’m saying, basically, is that there’s unknown unknowns. Too much goal focus ensures that they’ll always stay that way.

AngryCommieKender,

I was specifically thinking of a woman who recently asked me why I wear black all the time, and when I replied “Ask Johnny Cash,” she got visibly confused and said, “Oh.” I’d have told her to either read the lyrics or listen to Man in Black, if she’d asked. I don’t know what to do with confused disengagement.

barsoap,

she got visibly confused and said, “Oh.”

Now I can’t read body language through text but maybe she had an assumption, that got destroyed, therefore she looked confused? It doesn’t mean that she didn’t know the lyrics or the man. Also do you enjoy being needlessly cryptic.

I don’t know what to do with confused disengagement.

Engage by reassuring, or changing the topic? Cracking a joke? (“Also, I’m way too lazy to colour-match”). Whatever.

NightAuthor,

I married my highschool girlfriend, so I’m definitely not in the know about the dating scene
 but this sounds very incel-y to me.

If you’re objectively getting this kind of response, it may be that you’re pursuing the wrong type of person, or you should work on your approach. Every person is an individual, you gotta treat each person as an individual.

michaelrose,

I don’t think the person was saying they would really say that they are saying that they are pointlessly calling out the elephant in the room. As a teenage girl if you aren’t a gargoyle literally every teenage boy is thinking about you sexually because that is the level of hormonal reality. It’s like saying stop talking to me you just have 2 eyes and 2 arms.

Knusper,

I’m pretty sure, that was a hyperbole, not an actual, verbatim response. Most girls won’t actually say these things, because that would say a lot more (that they’re conceited). But you can often tell that they’re overthinking it from their reaction, which is of course difficult to portray with words.

But yeah, it should be clarified that girls are not to blame for this. Society as a whole, both men and women, are involved in passing this non-sense continually onwards.

chakan2,
@chakan2@lemmy.world avatar

Meh
embrace the toxicity and get off the internet. Be a gentleman and don’t worry about it.

sanguine_artichoke,
@sanguine_artichoke@midwest.social avatar

Talking about serious emotional issues or relationship problems with other men is pretty much uniformly crap. Most men are conditioned to not open up, or prefer immature viewpoints about all of that - or are just immature and crude and actually think various stupid and abusive things about women. Unfortunately some women actually prefer that.

ParsnipWitch,

How is it relevant if some women supposedly prefer that?

Honytawk,

To show the problem isn’t all one-sided

ParsnipWitch,

I don’t understand how this makes the problem less one-sided.

When an individual thinks abusive and stupid things about a group of people, it’s that’s individuals responsibility and issue.

That doesn’t change just because you can maybe find a person who prefers you thinking stupid and abusive shit.

Honytawk,

A single example is enough to prove something exists.

sanguine_artichoke,
@sanguine_artichoke@midwest.social avatar

Decent question really. I guess I was saying that while it’s been disappointing for me, it’s considered desirable and a good attitude by some people.

ParsnipWitch,

Perhaps you think too low of yourself? There will always be people who will prefer you to think this or that. Your parents, some dickhead politicians, your peers, 
 You don’t need everybody to like what you think.

sanguine_artichoke,
@sanguine_artichoke@midwest.social avatar

I didn’t say it affected my sense of self worth.

ilex,
@ilex@lemmy.world avatar

Maybe you have unrealistic expectations. Have you tried thinking even lower of yourself?

sanguine_artichoke,
@sanguine_artichoke@midwest.social avatar

I’ve considered it, even tried that, but it didn’t really seem to be of benefit to anyone.

HikingVet,

As an asexual male, I totally understand where you are coming from.

I generally don’t talk about anything like that with other men of any stripe. I have a few very understanding female friends who don’t judge and even then when I talk about it, it feels like I’m handing them a burden.

NightAuthor,

It’s cool my man, just find a partner with a similar sex drive or be open to atypical relationships. My wife has a fairly low sex drive, and mine’s not crazy but the disparity can be rough.

There’s almost certainly groups of people who feel like you do online, so if you want to, I’m sure you can find a place that feels super accepting.

But yeah, toxic masculinity/patriarchy is a bitch.

baseless_discourse, (edited ) in Score

On the other hand if most of your school’s money is in some investment firm, instead of invested in the wellbeing and learning of your employees and students. And you have a investor as the person with the highest salary.

Then your “school” is more of a financial institution than a school. And probably should be taxed as such.

Looking at you, Harvard: reuters.com/
/harvard-posts-investment-gain-fisca


mindbleach,

Exceptions will be made if having a behind-the-scenes money fountain means tuition is basically free.

Still looking at you, Harvard.

Alexstarfire,

I guess we’ll just ignore the tuitions and such they pay for.

Transporter_Room_3, (edited ) in Iron shooting
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Then they tell you the previous person was incompetent or something to try and make it seem like they were a bad employee, not that it’s a bad work environment.

“Oh? And who was in charge of their interview?” because unless they have a large hr department to handle hiring interviews, it was probably the person who hired you.

This is when you take notes in your notebook you should have brought with you.

I’ve noticed interviewers get visibly uncomfortable when I write in my notebook. It’s like they’re either trying to figure out if they just lied about something I will be able to reference later, or they just get that natural “someone is writing about me and I can’t read what it is” feeling, I assume the former.

Simon Pegg wasn’t lying in Hot Fuzz. The notebook is a powerful weapon if used right.

Vilian, (edited )

but the notebook strat gonna helpnme get the job in the end of the day?

Bonehead,

Do you really want the job if the interviewer can't handle being interviewed by you?

OneWomanCreamTeam,

Yes, because I like eating and having a roof over my head.

Bonehead, (edited )

I thought that once too and ignored my gut feeling. It was the most toxic work environment that I've ever experienced, and it essentially killed my software development career. I was eventually laid off and never recovered. I'm now a mail carrier.

the_post_of_tom_joad,

How’s the usps looking these days? You still got that asshole tearing the sorting machines down?

Bonehead,

I actually work for Canada Post. We've heard rumblings of the pre-sequenced mail coming our way, and some people have lost large chunks of money from it. Contract negotiations are coming up though, so we'll see how things go. Though it is nice having a union that is willing to fight the company for the workers...I've never had that before this job.

the_post_of_tom_joad,

Ah i did the thing, oops. Good luck on your negotiations :D

Nommer,

Had a similar experience. Toxic company that was awarded a contract hired in a bunch of people, gave us starting dates then a week before we were supposed to start they delayed our start data by 4 months. It only got worse and worse from there. I eventually quit when I was doing 4 other jobs, like with different pay scales and supervisors and everything, by myself. Killed any chances I had with IT since every other company around here doesn’t want to risk yet another burnout from that place. I had the same place interview me twice 6 months apart and both times as soon as they saw that company on my resume they frowned and kind of cut it short.

Transporter_Room_3,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Actually, I’ve had more than one interviewer comment on it saying it “shows (I’m) prepared” since many people don’t bring anything to write on and sometimes have to ask for a paper.

As for whether that could be a bonus in getting hired? Meh. 110% depends on the field.

If the question is “will asking unnecessary questions and writing down answers help get this job” then I’d ask if the interviewer isn’t prepared for a couple innocuous questions, then it shows a severe lack of preparedness on their part and I’d question whether I want to work for a place where someone gets shook by their underlings daring to question them.

I fully admit I am already biased against nearly any company that I would be interviewing at, so I’m already more willing to get confrontational in interviews if I feel I am not getting the respect I deserve (you know, the basic human decency of treating every random person you meet as an equal until they prove otherwise worthy), and drop them to keep looking than the average person. I’ll eat ramen and peanut butter sandwiches for a few more weeks if I need to. I’ve walked out of interviews before.

I’ve walked out after the opening “greeting”. “alright let’s make this quick, I’ve got a dozen other interviews today” okay well if that’s how you treat someone here for a simple interview I can’t imagine how you treat your employees on a bad day, get fucked. I literally said “excuse me? You don’t talk that way in a professional setting.” and left.

bane_killgrind,

When I go to client sites I carry around a pad, and I tell people that ask it’s just a prop to make it seem like I’m being thorough.

Really I have extremely good spatial recall and estimating retrofit jobs is a piece of cake in that respect.

The_Mike_Drop, (edited )

This is absolutely true. My former employer (a big box retail company) reduced my pay while I was on holiday. I had been there for years and accrued a bunch of pay rises - but the company got bought out and the new owners thought they could strip me of these because they felt they were temporary and non-contractual.

I got some legal advice that basically said they can’t do that sort of thing and had a meeting scheduled with HR. I went in with my notepad, I stayed calm - pleasent even - no angry shouting or slamming tables with fists, I just politely asked them questions and wrote down everything they said, then read their answers back to them to confirm thats what they said. I had about 6 questions prepared and by the 4th they were visibly uncomfortable, it was an amazing feeling making them squirm like that. After I got done asking my questions, I dropped the legal advice I had been given on them and it was obvious the answers they gave supported my case very heavily. They panicked and reversed all there decesion plus I got back-pay.

But if the first thing I had done is charge in making accusations and quoting the law I know nothing constructive would have happened.

See the goal is to bury them in their own words.

Edit: predictably the company went bust the next year. So long Office Outlet!

Transporter_Room_3,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Always get them to bury themselves before dropping your intentions.

My wife is currently dealing with her employer and their complete lack of handicap spots, despite over 200 regular car spaces scattered all around a warehouse lot. She doesn’t quite get how to “play the game” like this but she’s learning.

One party recording state so I’d like her to go in to talk about it while recording, but her anxiety is completely stonewalling her from bringing it up.

Hit record on the phone, slip it in a pocket that has good clearance for the whole conversation, and get them to say the things they’ve said when they think nobody else can hear them.

Apparently the front office woman screamed at her to move her car (she parked there because the offices are isolated from traffic and have access to her work area)and “it’s not our goddamn problem we don’t have handicap spots, it’s yours so deal with it”

I’m about to just skip around waiting for her to do things and file a complaint with the EEOC or at least the ADA government site complaint form. I’m sure that would take months, if not years before anything ever happened, but I can’t hold her hand and be there when she confronts the owners about their 6-8 missing handicap spots.

flicker, in Happy Holidays

I'm white. I have blue eyes. And when I was young, my hair was red. I was working retail, and this old lady said "Merry Christmas."

Me: "Happy Holidays!"

Her: "It's Merry Christmas. I know your boss doesn't like it, but you should say it to me. So Merry Christmas."

Me: "Are you Christian?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Well, I'm not. So Happy Holidays."

She got so stunned, like I'd slapped her. I was quite ready to get called in for being some kind of way with a customer but I guess she was too afraid of dealing with a heathen. Still, if you've ever worked retail, you'd know why this felt like a victory.

Mr_Blott,

Still, if you’ve ever worked retail, you’d know why this felt like a victory.

No idea mate, worked in retail for decades and no idea what you’re on about. But then I never lived in a country full of mentally ill people 😂

ChewTiger,

Yeah, I don’t think “mentally ill people” only exist in specific places or that specific areas are “full” of them. I mean, I know for sure at least one deranged person lives in your area.

Also I highly doubt you truly worked in retail if you never experienced a customer like this. If you did, you must have been lucky and in an extremely high end store.

People are the same everywhere in the world, no better or worse than anywhere else. Which is kinda great IMO.

EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted,
@EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I currently work in retail and OH MY GODS I FELT THE

T R I U M P H

THROUGH MY PHONE.

sirico,
@sirico@feddit.uk avatar

Hopefully you’re young enough that you didn’t have to deal with the christmas cd on repeat

Kecessa,

Young enough? You realise that’s still what they play in stores where people work retail?

Rodeo, (edited )

Well they don’t have CDs anymore, so how would they repeat the music?

Good grief, did this really need a /s?

Honytawk,

The radio does the exact same thing.

Kecessa,

Playlists?

pantherfarber,

There’s like 10 Christmas songs. All of them have hundreds of different versions. Doesn’t matter if your not hearing the exact same song. Your hearing the same songs on repeat. My last retail job the muzak box was accessible to everyone in the office so as soon as I would get there I would change the channel.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I worked in a video arcade in the 90s and we had a 1-hour VHS tape on repeat showing on TVs all over the arcade featuring recent music videos, cartoons, etc. That Christmas, ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ came out and it was on that tape. I heard that song every day of December, 8 times a day, 40 times a week, 160 times that month in total.

I hate that song so much more than everyone else does.

famousringo,

Wish them a joyous Yuletide. A cheerful solstice. A felicitous December.

Zehzin, in Seriously spends $80 to drive 20km..
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

You may not like it, but this is what peak freight vehicle looks like

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/6eb5e42d-1d02-413d-8b9a-6f06fb0199ad.jpeg

Nitor,

I dont like it, I love it

Vespair,

Fr though kei trucks are sexy as fuck

Rodeo,

I would get one if they weren’t all right hand drive :(

Manifish_Destiny,

I’d get one if they were freeway legal everywhere

Stuka,

Freight? No.

You’d use a sprinter van for that.

Gork, in Calculus? Nah, bro, that's easy stuff

This is why we need an ISO Toilet Paper Standard.

velox_vulnus, (edited )

Or just buy a bidet spray. Simple to install, no waste of paper and you can control the angle without having to touch the crevices.

eletes,
@eletes@sh.itjust.works avatar

Are you walking away with wet butt? I have to dry with at least 2 squares post bidet

velox_vulnus, (edited )

Bidet towel? Just clean the bottom real good and all you have to do is just pat-dry it. Am I going to meet more people who aren’t aware of this?

tryptaminev,

Many more people yes. Bidets and their concepts are not well known in most of western countries.

Death_Equity,

You have a towel covered in poop just chilling in your bathroom and call it normal.

velox_vulnus, (edited )
  • The jet spray from a bidet removes shit thoroughly from the ass cracks. Since bidets are effective at cleaning, it should not leave any poop stains.
  • You don’t use them while sitting. After you’re done with ass-washing, you get up from the toilet seat and dry your butt.
  • You’re not supposed to rub it, unless you want a bloodied, dangling rectum. It is used to absorb water, because the debris has already been dealt with by the bidet.
  • People shit only once or twice per day. The towel is replaced after 12 hours, or sometime even after every use, so what’s exactly wrong with it?
  • It isn’t supposed to be shared. I mean, you wouldn’t share a hanky or a body towel with someone else, would you?
  • Most people from around the world, especially in Europe and Asia, do this, so it is normal?
  • Eco-friendly? No paper is being wasted. Also no jammed toilets.
joenforcer, (edited )

Sorry you have to hear it this way, but a butt towel requiring a wash in detergent and even more water than you just flushed is less eco-friendly than two squares of toilet paper.

velox_vulnus, (edited )

I think you should give this a read. This should convince you to switch to a bidet towel. What I’m surprised about, is that you fail to see how regenerating forests is more difficult than regenerating water. It is very hard to repair the uprooted ecosystem. And no, new trees can not solve climate crisis. You can substitute an eco-friendly detergent. You can clean multiple bidet towels together. Forests, however, takes years to grow, changes in the eco-system can lead to ecological disturbances, and it has to be monitored carefully. This is not the case with water being contaminated with detergent - excess phosphates can cause eutrophication of algae.

SeducingCamel,

Hey man I know it’s generally accepted that bidets are cool and amazing, but actually I just feel like you’re wrong

Karyoplasma,

I would share a body towel, there is just no necessity to do so.

Death_Equity,

I challenge you to get poop on your finger, wash it off under the shower head, and then rub your eyeball directly with that finger. Your towel has poop residue on it.

variants,

I use a bidet daily and sometimes theres still some poopy left after a few long sprays, I use toilet paper to dry off and do a check and then if its clean Im good to go, otherwise I hit it with some more sprays and check again. a few sheets of toilet paper is a lot better than no bidet but Im still not convinced a bidet by itself is good enough. at least here in the states bidets are simple bolt on squirters not a separate thing that might do a better job

Kusimulkku,

You’re supposed to clean your ass first, my friend

variants,

im not going to risk a towel in case I need a couple more sprays haha

Kusimulkku,

You could put the towel in the wash if you’re initially doing poor job of cleaning.

Simbomba,

Many people ain’t aware oft bidets and most of those who do know them assume they only exist in Japan or in Japanese toilets

Potatos_are_not_friends,

My fancy bidet air dries.

I mean, I still wipe but I just wanted to flex over my bidet that blasts warm air all over my booty hole.

whereisk,

Sounds like fecal particulate matter everywhere
 if flushing spreads it, can’t imagine what an air blower does.

Eufalconimorph,

You use the cleaning function first, then the dry function. Don’t just dry the shit on there (well, maybe you would, but everyone else washes first, that’s the point of a bidet).

whereisk, (edited )

Woosh


The point is that since flushing alone creates aerosolised particles.

Spray wash, then blow dry, would probably multiply that.

I mean we know that hand dryers are terrible.

QueriesQueried,

Yes I’m sure the multiple countries that use them don’t have a fixation on being clean or anything at all, and are very pleased with blasting shit particles around. ^^/s

whereisk, (edited )

Lol.

“I’m sure all these people sacrificing goats to the gods haven’t seen their prayers answered all the time and are wrong - can’t you see how successful the Greeks and the Romans are, you idiot? /s” << you are this kind of person.

“Multiple countries” that “have a fixation” - therefore it can’t be - hahahaha!

Are you against scientific evidence?

I gave multiple sources, you gave arguments from incredulity, popularity, and your personal perception of reputation of whole countries - collectively.

QueriesQueried,

Did you by chance edit those in? I had only seen the one link about hand dryers, so either my app bugged or you edited đŸ€·â€â™‚ïž

poppy,

I like my bidet, but I have no interest in letting my labia drip-dry so I will continue to buy toilet paper thank you.

Droechai,

You don’t have a hair dryer in your bathroom? /S

OneWomanCreamTeam,

Bidet has reduced my toilet paper usage, but it’s absolutely not a replacement.

Senseless,

There are several:

  • DIN EN ISO 12 625-4: 2005 (Dry tear resistance and perforation resistance)
  • DIN EN ISO 12 625-5:2005 (wet tear resistance)
  • DIN EN ISO 12 625 -9:2005 (Puncture resistance)
  • DIN EN ISO 12 625-3:2005 (Paper thickness in use)
  • EN ISO 12 625-8:2004 (Water retention capacity)

Yet there seems to be no standard for the size or number of sheets in a roll.

Potatos_are_not_friends,
thedirtyknapkin,

hmm, this is more like realizing your preferred language doesn’t have a word for a thing and deciding you want one.

asbestos,
@asbestos@lemmy.world avatar

Nah, ISO fucks and I fuck with ISO

papalonian, in New price hike HuDis

Yo, title game on point OP đŸ‘ŒđŸœ

CluelessDude,

Thank you!

Jezebelley, in I won’t download your stupid app

deleted_by_author

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    deleted_by_author

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  • Littleborat,

    Their app is such a pain though. Nofap challenge imposed by reddit. I am on day 30 already.

    jetsetdorito,

    I relapsed when I found out you can patch in your own key to still use third party apps 😬

    Littleborat,

    How do I patch my key into RiF?

    MaoWasRight,

    Can I use RIF?

    frostyfrog,

    You’ve got my attention. Lack of third party apps is what keeps me away


    registrert,
    @registrert@lemmy.sambands.net avatar

    deleted_by_author

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  • orsetto,

    maybe the fediverse is a nice place, while the mainstream platforms are just for dopamine

    psmgx,

    dopamine

    This is a classy way of saying porn

    RVGamer06,

    Sure, but not only.

    RVGamer06,

    Exactly.

    JohnEdwa,

    I went from 100+ subs down to just 9, but some communities simply don’t exist in lemmy.

    Vespair,

    If you moderated a sub before the API ban and used the Boost app, then Boost still works for you. Thank god for my tiny sub.

    c0mbatbag3l,
    @c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world avatar

    Most of the niche subs don’t have equivalents here.

    Sir_Fridge,

    Look if reddit has the most useful information on a google search then reddit it is. Doesn’t mean I’m actively browsing it.

    Dicska,

    I still start my search with site:reddit.com when looking for an answer. I just prefer opening the cached hits so that traffic doesn’t go to reddit but Google instead. Not like there weren’t problems with Google, but this is the closest I can get to “punishing” Reddit but also getting an answer to my question.

    jigsaw250,

    Yep, right now, using a search engine with Reddit in the query is still the best option to find an answer to something. Maybe Lemmy fits that in time, but until then, Reddit it is.

    Hello_there, in Look, a keystone species

    So, it's more interesting than this. The trees are playing the squirrels. There's a normal amount of acorns that can support a normal amount of squirrels. But once every few years, the trees make a bunch more acorns. More than the normal amount of squirrels can eat. But not frequent enough that the number of squirrels increase. So the squirrels go crazy and hide em everywhere that year, but there's no way they can eat them all, so there are a bunch of acorns planted.
    Tldr: trees manipulate # of acorns to get squirrels to plant more.

    Frozengyro,

    It’s amazing nature found this blindly and it was the most efficient way to propagate as a species.

    stockRot,

    It was a good enough* way to propagate as a species

    Pelicanen,

    Local minimum, not a global minimum. Evolution is one long autoregressive process.

    SkinnyTimmy,

    I just learned two new words

    WaterSword, in expandn’t the list
    @WaterSword@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    Thanks for the red circle, I wouldn’t have known what to read otherwise

    kpw,

    It's missing a emoji so I know how to react tho

    Poggervania,
    @Poggervania@kbin.social avatar

    And where’s the arrows and impact text so I know exactly what to read??

    helpImTrappedOnline,
    HiddenLayer5,
    @HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml avatar

    0/10 not enough minions.

    Poggervania,
    @Poggervania@kbin.social avatar

    you a boss frfr ong đŸ«Ą

    TimeSquirrel,
    @TimeSquirrel@kbin.social avatar

    Beautiful. Now put that annoying-ass AI voice over it and post it on TikTok.

    Infernal_pizza,
    @Infernal_pizza@lemmy.world avatar

    With the oh no song playing in the background

    Moxvallix,
    @Moxvallix@sopuli.xyz avatar

    This! Post! Wants people! Not to commit murder!

    i hate that voice

    Octopus1348, (edited )
    @Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

    ▶ 0:00 🔘────── 0:11

    alienzx,

    TIHI

    hakunawazo,

    Good job. Now it looks like a youtube preview image. Just the silly head in one of the top corners for real reaction emotions is missing.

    Dave,
    @Dave@lemmy.nz avatar

    😉?

    idunnololz,
    @idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

    ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

    ummthatguy, in choose...
    @ummthatguy@lemmy.world avatar
    7of9,
    @7of9@startrek.website avatar

    This is the logical answer.

    altima_neo,
    @altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

    Risa gang, rise up

    ummthatguy,
    @ummthatguy@lemmy.world avatar
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