memes

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FlyingSquid, in Could wake the fucking dead
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

That’s why I wait until breakfast.

troyunrau, in Watch out, he's a pro.
@troyunrau@lemmy.ca avatar

I’m pretty sure I saw this episode of Community…

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

Oh yeah, that was one of the best episodes.

Well, that and dozens of other best episodes. Community is great.

magnetosphere, (edited ) in Shut. The fuck. Up.
@magnetosphere@kbin.social avatar

I actually had to pause a movie once and re-explain that that I’d never seen it before, either.

edit: the amount of upvotes this comment has gotten both validates and saddens me

toynbee,

Only once?

magnetosphere,
@magnetosphere@kbin.social avatar

Surprisingly, yes

greenmarty, in Aaaaaand it's over

Once you survive couple of years in this world you find out this is just the beginning.

DNOS,

Yeah man I have seen stuff like flipping the phone upside down before putting it to the ear …

Smoogs,

2 yrs down the road “oh also I’m in QAnon”

Starkstruck, in Watch out, he's a pro.

How to win any debate, just yell “NUH UH!” to anything your opponent says.

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

Bonus for also plugging your ears and closing your eyes.

somePotato,

LALALALALALALALALALALAA I CAN’T HEAR YOU THEREFORE YOU CAN’T DISPROVE MY ARGUMENT LALALALALALAALALALALALA

Yearly1845, in This is for (almost) all of you

deleted_by_author

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  • EternalNicodemus,
    @EternalNicodemus@lemmy.world avatar

    Old but fresh~

    eezeebee, in Aaaaaand it's over
    @eezeebee@lemmy.ca avatar

    Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out they talk on the phone like this

    sbv,

    Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out they talk on the phone

    over_clox,

    Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out they’re a real living human being.

    kn33,

    Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out they talk on the phone

    OsrsNeedsF2P,

    Imagine meeting the love of your life

    Sabre363,

    Imagine love

    Stamets,
    @Stamets@lemmy.world avatar
    kibiz0r,

    Imagine there’s no rest of the sentence. Then who was phone???

    WhiskyTangoFoxtrot, (edited )

    Oh my god bear was phone! How can that be?

    Evil_Shrubbery,

    Whaaat is love??

    Palerider,
    @Palerider@feddit.uk avatar

    Baby don’t hurt me…

    Evil_Shrubbery,

    Don’t hurt me, no more

    Todesschnitzel,

    Imagine meeting the love of your life and then finding out she breathes.

    agent_flounder,
    @agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

    Red flag!!!

    Downcount,

    Imagine meeting the phone of your love and then finding out they talk on their live like this

    over_clox, (edited )

    Imagine meeting the phone of your dreams and caressing it lovingly and leaking bodily fluids…

    Evil_Shrubbery,

    That’s how you get a bloated battery STD …

    over_clox,

    Damn, that reminds me, I should replace my own battery soon. How do you replace human batteries though? 🤔

    Evil_Shrubbery,

    Idk, I’ve been running on emergency auxiliary power, even diverting power from life support, for years now. Lights are getting dimmer now.

    Obviously I lack a built-in charging capability, so taking the batteries out just means shutting down before replacing them with new ones.

    But others are suggesting cocaine. It supposedly boosts you lithium ions (I assume), and also postpones the memory effect of, em, li-ion batteries.

    over_clox, (edited )

    If you’re running on auxiliary power, you should eat the phone by now and conserve your calories. Make sure to boil your urine though. Stay safe, if you need assistance you can always call [redacted].

    /s

    eezeebee,
    @eezeebee@lemmy.ca avatar

    This voids the warranty, unfortunately

    dangblingus,

    God I wish. I hate having novel length text conversations. Texting for one off quick or cute sentences. Telephone for detailed conversation.

    helenslunch,
    @helenslunch@feddit.nl avatar

    Voice messages live somewhere in the middle there.

    MIDItheKID,

    My voice mailbox is full and a refuse to empty it. If you want to leave me a message, send me a text.

    helenslunch,
    @helenslunch@feddit.nl avatar

    Voice message, not voicemail. It’s like a text message but with your voice.

    MIDItheKID,

    Ahhh those. Yeah I’m fine with those. Text me the voicemail lol

    Kusimulkku,

    I’m not sure why but I dislike voice messages. Either text or just call

    helenslunch,
    @helenslunch@feddit.nl avatar

    Yeah I’m not typing out a long ass text message.

    Kusimulkku,

    Then you should call because I’m not listening to your voice message

    helenslunch,
    @helenslunch@feddit.nl avatar

    No you should listen to my voice message because I’m not calling 😀

    Kusimulkku,

    I’m sorry but not happening, hope it wasn’t important

    Evil_Shrubbery,

    Meet the love of your life and then imagine taking

    byroon, in If you didnt know, this is what caused daylight savings last weekend.

    I know it’s just a joke but in the UK clocks actually went back two weekends ago, not last weekend

    TeaHands,
    @TeaHands@lemmy.world avatar

    I was going to make this comment last night but decided not to be That Guy. Thank you for taking the bullet 🫡

    The_Picard_Maneuver,
    @The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website avatar

    You mean to say we all don’t even do daylight savings at the same time?

    This is madness.

    Gradually_Adjusting, in Watch out, he's a pro.
    @Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

    Hitchen’s razor + put a shirt on

    nxdefiant, (edited )

    Also that guy should drink some water, he’s definitely dehydrated. Maybe he didn’t elaborate because he passed out.

    FlyingSquid, in Hot wife actually
    @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

    My wife has almost no body hair. She barely has any eyebrows. Unless you look closely, it looks like she doesn’t have any. She tells me no one ever notices. It’s true, it took me a long time to notice when we first got together.

    Littleborat, in Aaaaaand it's over

    That’s not the normal way to talk when you are alone in the room?

    Guess no one will find out because I am alone.

    lorez,

    Oh, but now we KNOW!

    loo, in This is for (almost) all of you
    @loo@lemmy.world avatar

    Okay, okay. I’ll get one.

    EternalNicodemus,
    @EternalNicodemus@lemmy.world avatar

    Chad

    Nikki, in This is for (almost) all of you
    @Nikki@lemmy.world avatar

    :3

    EternalNicodemus,
    @EternalNicodemus@lemmy.world avatar

    Found the cute one

    lemann, in This is for (almost) all of you

    No, Fight meeee 🤪

    EternalNicodemus,
    @EternalNicodemus@lemmy.world avatar

    308 Negra Arroyo Lane Albuquerque New Mexico 87104 😎😎😎

    ErKaf, (edited ) in Shut. The fuck. Up.

    Its called rhetorical question. Mate is just thinking loud.

    I’m that friend and I’m really sorry. I cant control it. :(

    Karyoplasma,

    I have a friend like this too. I just stopped going to the movies with him because I want to stay friends.

    ErKaf,

    Well in cinemas I’m obviously silent because there are strangers. I just like to talk when watching movies together privatly.

    I think its really nice when the movie is a total brainfuck to make theorys with friends. If you just want to sit there in total silence even in private situations you could just watch the movie alone.

    Soggy,

    So you can control it. And yes I usually just watch the movie alone.

    ErKaf, (edited )

    So you can control it.

    Yea its called I-dont-want-a-fist-in-my-face-Syndrom. So it works in public.

    Karyoplasma, (edited )

    Nah, that’s ok. When you “watch a movie” at home with a group of people, you are not really watching a movie. It just serves as background noise and as an easy fallback for someone that doesn’t want to participate in the conversation.

    Kusimulkku,

    I do this too, I’m thinking aloud. My girlfriend scolds me for “spoilers”, which is funny because I’m just guessing what is going to happen based on other stuff I’ve seen.

    Not my fault writers are terribly unimaginative lol

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