memes

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Reverendender, in The sword in the dome

“Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses! Not some farcical aquatic ceremony!”

hydrashok,

Look, if I proclaimed myself emperor, just because some moistened croc threw a sword at me, they’d put me away!

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Florida Republicans who have all the power: Help! I’m being repressed!

name_NULL111653,

Come see the injustice inherent in the system!

hydrashok,

Bloody peasant!

malagauche, in Sleep tight

No shit, that’s why you should sleep at night.

Sakychu, in The sword in the dome

Strange Alligators laying in ponds distributing knifes is no basis for a kingdom

jaybone,

Strange Alligator should be a Sade song.

Cascio,

Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!

cyborganism, in "That's a problem for future me!"

I always clean everything a couple days before leaving, so when I get back home, I come back to a clean home with nothing to do.

OpenStars, in "That's a problem for future me!"
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

“You guys are taking vacations?” meme

Son_of_dad,

This past year is the first time I’ve had a job that gives me vacation days. My vacation consisted of my couch and my PlayStation. That’s really all I could afford.

This year the wife and I are going to Niagara falls (2 hours from us) for the weekend, so that’s kind of a vacation. But that’s the most I’ve been able to afford in the last 10 years.

OpenStars,
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

Feel free to do you, it sounds like you deserve it:-).

Subverb, in The sword in the dome

Screw pulling it out. I want to know how it got there.

Jerb322,
@Jerb322@lemmy.world avatar

From the last person it ate…

possiblylinux127,

Do you though?

VikingHippie,

Florida Man.

Son_of_dad, (edited ) in "That's a problem for future me!"

I’m a condominium superintendent, I once had to go into all the units for smoke detector replacements. I get to one apartment and it stinks. There are dishes on the table with half eaten/rotted food. Pots on the stove that are the same. All the food in the fridge is molding, and the apartment is in general disarray.

I had to call my boss, who in turned tried to get a hold of the owners with no success. We had to end up calling the cops, who first sent a patrol, then later a detective to get a missing persons case going. A month later, the cops contact us to inform us that the owners went on a six month trip to China and didn’t think to tell anyone. They came back a few weeks later and acted like nothing happened. Turns out they were just filthy people, not dead.

SpaceNoodle, in "That's a problem for future me!"

*vaccination

psy32nd, in The sword in the dome

Call me whatever, I am feeling sad for him tbh :(

RememberTheApollo_,

Tried to think of something witty, but this just sucks.

Techmaster,

Call me whatever

But I’m calling the alligator Knifey.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I can’t handle this.

Techmaster,

“Who’s throwing handles!?”

pewgar_seemsimandroid,

it’s just an average tuesday for him

Transporter_Room_3,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Hi, Whatever, I’m dad.

There was a duck at a local park that got shot by a “toy” crossbow and was walking around for a day or two slowly bleeding before someone took it to the local wildlife rescue.

I don’t understand why some people just feel the need to do things like this.

Unless the gator popped up and surprised someone having a picnic, then I understand the stab, but I still feel bad it’s just going around as a knife-based unicorn.

ChickenLadyLovesLife,

I saw a duck at a park once with an arrow (like, a hunting arrow rather than a toy) stuck in it. I tried to catch it to see if I could remove it; probably best that I couldn’t since those barbed arrows do more damage coming out than going in. The duck really didn’t seem bothered by it, but it was probably just trying to put on a good face.

jaybone,

Duck face.

Transporter_Room_3,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

It’s never a good idea to pull out a stabbing object, for the reason you mentioned, and the parts inside might be stemming blood flow. Even if you cut the arrow to pull it through neatly it wouldn’t make a difference unless you were at a vet clinic that specializes in birds.

soloner, in Sleep tight

SIGN ME UP

DerisionConsulting, in The sword in the dome

a lemmy post of a reddit post of a screengrab of a tweet.

BigDiction,

A big repost sandwich to start the year!

possiblylinux127,

Amamamamam…

blanketswithsmallpox, (edited )

Link aggregating site users perpetually surprised by aggregated links while feeling superior.

More news at 11.

GrammatonCleric, in "That's a problem for future me!"
@GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world avatar

Vaccination vacation?

joyjoy, in Elderly Politicians

And we keep electing them.

babyfarmer, in "That's a problem for future me!"

You’ve got to be a real lazy piece of shit to not do the dishes before you leave for a vacation.

paddirn, in I'll go for a morning run too.

That’ll be the night you can’t fall sleep til 4am, alarm clock doesn’t go off, and traffic is fucked everywhere along your commute. Just do your future self a solid and get it done the night before. Future You will thank Past You.

MNByChoice,

Treating Future Me the way Present Me wishes Past Me would have treated Present Me, has really helped Present Me be kinder to others.

HerbalGamer,
@HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works avatar

Future me should’ve prepared better.

CertifiedBlackGuy,

Fuck future me.

I heard him talking shit about present me

TIMMAY,

Future me is the sworn blood enemy of past me so any thank you’s sent between them are likely to be laced with arsenic or something

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