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FALGSConaut, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@FALGSConaut@hexbear.net avatar

Their method actually does make sense, you just have to remember they aren’t cops to solve (boring) crimes like petty theft. Why get it done as efficiently as possible when you can milk it for hours of overtime? 12 hours of footage means 6+ hours of overtime even watching it at x2 speed, and it’s the kind of thing you can basically have going on in the background. Cops being willfully ignorant for their own benefit makes sense to me

mosiacmango, (edited )

You know what’s even better than milking it for 6hrs of OT? Saying its “to hard” to the victim, going home and then lying about doing 6hrs of OT and getting paid anyway.

Cops lie about OT systemically. Its absolutely rampant. The only consequence they ever get is either a few hrs suspension without pay or fired, and most states are happy to hire them next door immediately so they can do it again.

skyline, in Rust's static linter is called "Clippy" for a reason.
@skyline@programming.dev avatar

There is no way.

kubica, in 1 follower on GitHub = 1000 followers on other platforms 😅
@kubica@kbin.social avatar

I want to follow commits not tweets.

rustydrd, in Manager: This task only takes 30 minutes. Why did it take you the whole day?
@rustydrd@sh.itjust.works avatar

“blah”

lemming741, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

When troubleshooting physical systems, it’s called half-splitting

www.ecmweb.com/…/the-beauty-of-halfsplitting

Ilovethebomb,

This is fault finding 101 for fire alarm systems.

CarbonScored, in Manager: This task only takes 30 minutes. Why did it take you the whole day?
@CarbonScored@hexbear.net avatar

Forward three hours, me using thesaurus.com to try fit the whole gist of my change into the first line.

comrade_pibb, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@comrade_pibb@hexbear.net avatar

acab

kirby,

all cops aren’t binary-searching

dejected_warp_core, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

This didn’t go down well.

IT consulting pro-tip: Customers would rather pay for your time and expertise, than be made to feel stupid that they didn’t think of something so simple themselves.

xantoxis,

Eh, it’s less intuitive than you might think, as someone who already knows how to do it.

I once had to explain this process to a software engineer who was quite senior to me. The guy wasn’t any idiot, he was a pretty competent engineer, he just didn’t know this trick.

The cops might even already know how to do it, they just don’t want to, because they’re cops.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Just yesterday, I was helping this manager set up a new system of ticket line (the kind where you get a ticket number and wait for it to be called in a panel). He complained that they didn’t have a proper printer just for these tickets, so he made the tickets in excel and printed them. To the right of the number, someone would mark the service, from a list of 6.

“Why not use a single letter prefix and print different piles of passwords? (A01, A02, A03; B01, B02, etc)”

That’ll use too much paper. We’ll also need more tickets than before

“That will use less paper, you can print 2 tickets using the same space. Also, the amount of tickets always depends on the number of people that show up, but you’ll have a better idea of which service is being needed each day”

Mr manager didn’t like the idea and moved on to another problem.

mwknight,

After working in desktop support for a year after college, I realized that people just wanted their problem solved and to not feel frustrated. That realization made my job immensely easier because I pivoted from copying a file in 30 seconds and walking away to talking to them a little bit and letting them feel good after we were done. My ticket closing speed slowed down a little but people felt better and I consistently got positive feedback.

BakedGoods,

When I started in support 15 years ago my boss said: “First you solve the person, then you solve the problem”.

He was a good dude.

bleistift2,

What would you recommend for solving people? Does a household base like NaOH suffice?

moody,

Solving, not dissolving.

CompN12,

Customers typically stop complaining once in aqueous form.

moody,

What about in soap form?

bleistift2,
dejected_warp_core, (edited )

Same story here, actually. I cut my teeth on internet telephony (modems) support for an ISP. People would call up furious about not being able to connect. I learned that chatting people up during a long Windows reboot did a lot to humanize their struggle and get them to calm down and loosen up. First few times were organic, then I started looking for pretenses to do this, just to bring the temperature down for the rest of the call.

deweydecibel,

Call centers tell you to empathize but that’s not something you can teach. You can either do it or you can’t. So they give those terrible scripts, and then some of them require you to speak the scripted lines, even when you know all it does is piss the caller off.

No hears that scripted pablum at the start of call and thinks it’s genuine. No one. “I’m sorry to hear your having issues sir, but I’ll be happy to assist you.” genuinely comes off condescending at this point. They know you know it’s scripted, they know you know the representative has to say it, but they make them do it anyway.

Here’s what I found doing ISP call center work, and it worked virtually every single time: imply through tone and pointed comments you’re as frustrated as the called with how shitty the service and the hardware is. They’re never prepared for it, it always catches their anger off guard.

Don’t outright say “Yeah, Cox is absolute dog shit, and that POS gateway we make you pay for isn’t worth the cost of the the technician we’re sending out to ‘fix’ it.” You’ll get in trouble for that.

But if you’re careful and creative, you can make them appreciate you think that

Riven,
@Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Dude same here. I usually say stuff along the lines of ‘yea it took me forever the first time to figure it out’ or ‘it’s a common issue that a lot of people have, I’ll get it sorted in a sec for you no problem’. Make it seem like they’re not stupid, regardless of the truth and then fix it, keeps em happy and more willing to cooperate with you as well.

I also talk through what I’m doing and if they show interest I’ll teach them so they can fix it in the future, ‘ah I’ve seen this before, took me like a hour to figure it out on my computer, for me it was a chrome update that broke how downloaded files open. Here let me right click the file, and go to open with, we hit Adobe pdf and check the always open with this program button, that should do it let’s test it out. OK seems like its good to go. Let me know if you have any more issues’. If they don’t show interest then it’s no problem.

Taleya,

My go to is usually ‘everything is easy if you know how to do it’

meathorse,

Are you my kindred spirit!? :P Thats almost exactly what I do too!

My favourite is when someone apologies for not knowing something or having dumb questions. Apart from “there is never a dumb question” because there usually isn’t, I typically respond with “if everyone already knew how to do everything, I’d be out of a job” which always seems to go down well.

deweydecibel,

Some of my favorite help desk moments are those times you get to a be teacher for someone that’s genuinely listening and happy to learn.

crackajack, in Manager: This task only takes 30 minutes. Why did it take you the whole day?

That’s in any bloody workplace! Especially if there is o synergy between different teams.

Ddhuud, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

They’re paid by the hour.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

“Yes, chief, I’ll need 72h to manually review all 72h of footage and cannot do any other activities in the meantime.”

nullPointer, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

just tell them there is a black man at the moment of theft, they will get on it lickety split!

Cannacheques,

Sad meme very relevant

Grimble,
  • Binary search: O(log(n))
  • Sequential search: O(n)
  • Linear search: O(n)
  • Police ethnicity database search: O(0)
ScrewdriverFactoryFactoryProvider,
@ScrewdriverFactoryFactoryProvider@hexbear.net avatar

No need to search when you already have someone you wanna pin it on.

wit, in Bill is a pro grammer

Code should be self documenting.

Sylvartas,

But then you write code in the real world and find out that you have to write some ass backwards code every other day because of deadlines, backwards compatibility or whatever, and suddenly you realize that despite your best efforts, code cannot always be self documenting.

Source: me.

executivechimp,
@executivechimp@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

should

Sylvartas, (edited )

In a vacuum, sure. On a real project of substantial size with more than one programmer, I’m afraid it quickly becomes a “cannot”

JohnDClay,

But you should also comment it, things obvious to you aren’t obvious to even future you.

gornius,

General rule of thumb: Comments say why is it here, not what it does. Code itself should describe what it does.

Zehzin, (edited ) in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police
@Zehzin@lemmy.world avatar

This method will take forever to find the exact moment, said Officer Zeno.

SamirCasino,

I love you for that joke.

schmidtster, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

I get the sentiment, but you want them to waste public resources doing it on all these different clunky uis and software? Sometimes these take minutes to load new information to parse.

Maybe waste your time pinpointing it instead of expecting public resources to do what you could do for them?

new_guy,

I mean… their job supposedly is to protect and serve the citiens so yeah… I’d expect them to use their tools to do their job.

schmidtster, (edited )

It’s your software/hardware and you know how to operate it. Would take you a fraction of the time as well.

Maybe public cameras sure, but private that’s not their tool by any stretch of the imagination.

And most public cameras don’t record for privacy reasons.

GBU_28,

What? It was a campus security camera, not their hardware

bleistift2,

It’s your software/hardware

Where do you read that in the original post?

OmenAtom,

In what world do random citizens own and operate the security cameras of, well, anything? As opposed to the people that work there, or I dont know the police? Whose job is allegedly to solve crimes?

BombOmOm,
@BombOmOm@lemmy.world avatar

on all these different clunky uis and software

As someone who has used security cam software before. I swear they are designed to be as unhelpful, slow, and convoluted as possible.

NoIWontPickaName,

So I should do their job for them?

Why the fuck are we paying them then?

Deceptichum,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Oh shit, a few minutes to do their job. The fucking horror, wouldn’t want to cut into their being an utter fucking bastard time, where they’re probably harassing a minority or beating their wife.

schmidtster,

It’s public money, why waste it when you could provide it for them.

But argue fallacious points.

slurpeesoforion,

Chain of custody

NoIWontPickaName,

Because it is their job to do it.

frezik,

Who is “you” in this sentence? I mean, I could probably write security camera software, but I don’t, and have no plans to. I imagine most of the people here are the same.

Crackhappy,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

So when there is a pothole in front of your driveway, you’re going out and filling it in yourself, right? Because why waste the city’s valuable time when you could do it yourself?

schmidtster,

If it’s in your driveway it’s your problem, yes.

Aatube, (edited )
@Aatube@kbin.social avatar

They said in front. So right after you go out

Even if it was in your driveway, unless you’re a cement construction worker you’d probably have no way to fix it and contact somebody

SpaceNoodle,

Oh, so your excuse is that you’re illiterate?

Deceptichum, (edited )
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Okay so genius, are the cops going to provide the footage for the person to watch themselves to narrow down the time?

How the fuck do you expect this person to work it out if the ones with access to the evidence to do so refuse to do so?

And further fucking more, how is doing their job, wasting public money? There’s a lot of money wasted on police, investigating a robbery for a real person is not one of them.

gregorum,

That’s an interesting way to say that they shouldn’t get paid if they’re not doing their jobs. 

kryptonianCodeMonkey, (edited )

Yeah, every time I have ever had to hand over footage to the police for thefts at our family store, I clip and organizr that shit. I also include a paper identifying each file, the timestamps and what happened during them, any details I identified that they can corroborate (physical description, identifiable clothing/tattoos, make and model of vehicle, license plate number, etc.). I often end up putting in 1-2 hours of work on it watching, editing and transferring footage.

If you want traction and results from the police, you need to make it as easy as possible for them by doing the heavy lifting yourself. The cynical view is that thats because they just don’t care, but also, in fairness, your case is one of dozens of cases on their desk and the cases never stop coming. This is your priority, so put in the effort instead of expecting others do so. That being said, that is much easier when you have direct access to the cctv footage. I’m guessing this student didnt.

Dukeofdummies, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

I mean, in the era of VHS this won't work because ultimately you're fast forwarding and rewinding. So you're gonna watch it anyway. but in the digital era I thought this would be what any Police officer did?

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

funkless_eck,

my guy half of them don’t spend 10 minutes on a murder. There’s a reason it’s called detective fiction

Dukeofdummies,

I know but if they were smart they'd say they're gonna take an hour to do it, find the footage in 10 minutes and goof off another 50.

Pull a Scotty, then you're productive and lazy. It's just disappointing they can't even procrastinate properly. I feel bad.

SpaceNoodle,

if they were smart

I gotta stop you right there

Deceptichum,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

What and be responsible for paperwork?

Cops are the biggest bludges you’ll ever meet.

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