@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

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Kolanaki, (edited )
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If you had magic powers, would you let a bunch of dumbshit muggles who believe in witches drown you?

Kolanaki, (edited )
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And those with motivation and willpower do it the old fashioned way. Plenty of people would jump at the chance to take a shortcut like downloading the knowledge into their brain, only to realize knowledge alone doesn’t make one a kung fu master.

Kolanaki,
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Ironically, the matrix is also the one place where you can negate the need for kung fu because you can just alter reality with your thoughts by simply believing hard enough.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Mash, Blue’s Clues and MatPat.

For GenX: Mr. Rogers, maybe? Or, I dunno… Max Headroom? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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One I have doubts anyone else might mention is Lupin the Third.

Kolanaki,
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Birthdays don’t exist. That’s a myth made up by Big Cake to get people to buy more cake.

Kolanaki,
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I’d tell you, but you couldn’t read this anyway.

Kolanaki,
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After me.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Now whether we’re talking aliens, extra dimensional beings or non-human intelligence is anyone’s guess but something is coming down the pipeline.

With how, just… Uncool everything turns out once it’s scientifically explained, that thing is probably nothing more than sasquatch. Instead of something that would change our very perceptions of reality, we just get a new species of primate that has somehow eluded capture for a long time.

Kolanaki,
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“Actually it was the dolphins. You guys don’t even wanna know what they say about humans.”

Kolanaki,
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Bad, naughty, awful Zoot!

Kolanaki,
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O’Brien’s been about half a meter shorter ever since.

Kolanaki,
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Penis steps in front of brain: I have a suggestion

Kolanaki,
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What the fuck was in those Skittles?

Kolanaki,
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My favorite R2D2 line is before they meet Obi Wan in New Hope and he’s all like “ooooooo OOOOOO” in a frightened tone.

Kolanaki,
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Smoke indica instead of sativa before bedtime.

Kolanaki,
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Me looking in the fridge again, 2 minutes after looking in the fridge.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Toad in the hole.

Or avocado toast if there’s avocado spread on it too.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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On God. Fr fr, no cap on the rizz with a lizz until I jizz. Yeet!

Kolanaki,
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YouTube is a weird one, personally. Why shouldn’t it have a subscription based service like any other streaming network? Because the content is not created by, funded by, or even necessarily supported by YouTube.

It would make more sense for the subscription to be put upon uploaders to host the content, since their business is hosting the files, not really the content itself.

Now, if they had a better or at least more transparent way of giving the creators a truly fair cut of the monetary gains earned through their videos I would have nothing against YouTube Premium aside from hating that a completely free service has to move to a paid service.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Yeah, uh… I can’t read the “say my name” part without hearing Gilbert Goddfried’s voice in my head. Is that normal?

Kolanaki,
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“Nice Gordon Freeman costume.”

Kolanaki, (edited )
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I never liked the dude on Voyager. Not Tuvok, but the other Vulcan… I can’t remember his name. But he was way more open about being a dick with a superiority complex than any other Vulcan I can think of, including Solok.

Kolanaki,
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Spock on a cock on The Rock.

Kolanaki,
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Life is hard.

And so am I.

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