Poe’e law states that there’s no such thing as satire, and that every post that could be considered a joke is actually a display of incredible stupidity
If you’re a professional ecologist, then you should know full well that even if a cat is perfectly sedentary and kills nothing, and is neutered, they can still get and spread diseases, they can still get run over, and they can still be attacked and killed by other outdoor animals
Of course, I’m not dating anyone outside my acceptable range, which is about 20 years wide. Assuming an even distribution of people across all ages 1 to 100, this narrows it to 20%, or 100,000 people
Of course I’m more interested in ladies than fellas, so I’m gonna cut it to 51% based on gender, so 51,000 potential matches
We’re pretty evenly split politically, and imma be real I ain’t dating someone who’s gonna vote desantis, so let’s cut that in half again to 25,500
About 7% of people share my dietary preferences, and it’s a strong enough moral conviction that it’s a dealbreaker. That number is higher in people who share my political leanings, though, so let’s consider it 14%, or 3570.
Now I just have to figure out the odds that the <1% of people that I would be interested in would be interested in me. If it is just 1%, then there are around 36 dudes, ladies, and nonbinary maties in this city that I could conceivably go out with
I lost interest after he sang the praises of the Goblin Slayer rape scene. BuT tHe GoBLiNs nEeD tO bE sCaRy! You can “make monsters monstrous” without adding explicit rape scenes to your mid-tier manga.
Legitimately the best sleep I ever got was when I had a hammock. It takes a bit of adjustment, but once you’re used to it, it’s so easy to wake up. I haven’t felt fully rested since I replaced my hammock with a bed
Dog, car, motorcycle, radio. Zombie apocalypses ain’t shit, I live in America. One dude is gonna bite someone and get turned into pink mist by every nearby CCW dude. Those would all be cool to have when we start rebuilding in a week
I never actually thought about how tea was discovered, and my new headcanon is that some weird person was just drinking hot water, some leaves fell in their cup, and they were too lazy to just get some clean water