Same here. I actually just decided last night that I hate who I am so much that I’m going to “kill myself” in that I’m going to try to completely kill off the person that I “was.”
I have a lot of respect for transgender people who sort of go through a similar thing so I’m taking inspiration from them and saying old asafum is dead, I killed him, and in his place I’ll be a new asafum.
I’ve had much more success with just embracing who I am, flaws included, than with trying to change my nature. I was able to achieve much more by stopping to try to be someone I’m not.
That’s the route I went initially. I thought I was being delusional by thinking I could be different, the thought of denying my initial feelings/reactions felt like I was being “fake” or denying who I am, but then I just remain as the person I hate most in the entire world.
I can’t live life being an angry bitter miserable asshat who never misses a chance to beat himself up because I think I deserve it. If I hate that person so much then I should just leave them in the past and be better. It’s so strange that it’s actually physically painful to go through. Like I get headaches fighting off my initial reaction and forcing myself to think differently/positively.
Remember to forgive yourself and let go of that hate, whatever you do. Self forgiveness is important for moving forward and you deserve to give yourself that.
If you can’t get a big tiddy goth gf, then become the big tiddy goth gf.
Fill your house with arcane and esoteric items of dubious origin simply because they make you happy (bootleg pokemon figurines). Join a coven (D&D group or whatever other hobby) and join together for rituals that reignite the connection with nature that exists in all of us (hang out and touch some grass; pet a dog/cat, it’ll literally reduce your risk of heart disease). Become the witch who lives at the end of the street, creating strange brews that heal the sick (start a garden and cook homemade soup for your friends). Create a new family bound not by blood, but by bonds forged through hardship and triumph both. Move in with a girl that historians will refer to as your “good friend” and roommate.
Realize that it’s all you, and it always has been. That the person you were was simply the shell you created to protect yourself from the world. You are the big tiddy goth gf of your dreams and you can be the big tiddy goth gf that other people dream of, and all you have to do is let go of your shackles (and your facial hair).
No -> Don’t Worry. Yes -> Can I do something -> No -> What the worst possible outcomes and how will I deal with them? Can I do something -> Yes -> What the worst possible outcomes and how can I negate them to only have best outcomes.
That’s not worrying though. Worrying is unproductive fear of the unknown, your steps eliminate the unknown and use logic to solve the problem. That’s good, but you need to be able to break the worry cycle so your logical brain can step in.
Vomiting into the toilet with zen tranquility, because I understand why seven tequilas was a mistake and am simply undergoing the aftermath of my decision.
Staring down the barrel of a gun and experiencing perfect serenity because the universe is beyond my control.
Strapped to a chair and having my fingers tenderized with a meat mallet, but its okay, because all my available decisions have been made.
Literally on fire, but this is fine, because there’s nothing around to put me out.
One thing that has helped me is to figure out what the consequences are for failure. If I don’t pay my credit card bill, my credit will get dinged and I may have to deal with a lawsuit some months down the road for failure to pay. Or if I don’t pay my rent, I’ll be kicked out and need to stay with friends or go to the local homeless shelter. Even if the consequences really suck, knowing what they are helps me stop worrying about what they could be.
The next step is to take a small step toward solving the problem. Maybe I can’t financially handle losing my job today, but I can save a little cash so I’ll be able to handle losing it in a few months. Making some progress feels good, even if the progress is slow. Keep coming up with a baby step toward a solution and you’ll eventually get there. Maybe you save some cash this month, then spend the cash on something to help you save more next month (e.g. maybe buy a staple in bulk to save per unit).
Yeah, he’s clearly done this before. You don’t simply spin out like this and not end up losing control and hitting a by sheer accident. Keeping the car going straight like this requires a fair amount of countersteering.
This cannot reasonably be how mentally healthy people react though, because this would seem to suggest that the healthy thing to do is to never worry about anything at all, in which case, what utility would have led to that emotion evolving in the first place?
You worry about uncertainty. There is no uncertainty in this flow chart. Worrying about things that are defined and known is not healthy, but that’s not to say that stable people never worry about things they know the solution to or never worry even though there aren’t any real problems. The distinction really is if you’re able to make yourself stop worry or not, in a healthy way, or if worry consumes you to the point of anxiety.
Yup, I rarely worry because I’m prepared for a lot of the most likely issues that could come up. We have:
a healthy emergency fund, so we can weather unemployment
food in storage, so we can handle a natural disaster for a least a couple weeks
two cars and flexible work, so we can handle a car going kaput
space heaters, so we can handle the furnace going out in the winter
And so on. The more prepared I am, the less I worry. However, it’s impossible to prepare for everything, so I do worry, but I’m able to make that very infrequent with planning.
Worrying about problems definitely helps to keep you alive, but the motivation to do something ideally comes from a prefrontal cortex desire to improve rather than a fight or flight response to threats.
Obviously, the calculator app needs camera permission for scanning complex formulas that would otherwise require lengthy manual input and calculating them automatically.
Oddly I’m learning the Trump crowd really wants to employ these tactics today with glee against all those that won’t shut up about everything they don’t like.
I don’t think chickens raised for meat live anywhere near 2 years. Yeah, a quick google shows around a 2 month harvest time for chickens raised for meat. That’s a big part of why chickens are such amazing creatures and make such an affordable protein source, they can be sustainably* harvested year round. (Sustainably as in without decreasing the size of your flock.)
Laying hens are productive for two to three years. They rarely make it into the human food supply though, after that long the texture and flavor of the meat changes and American consumers don’t prefer it. You can probably get them through a local butcher shop, though they might have to order it for you.
In a small and well managed flock, chickens can live 6 to 8 years. In the wild, I don’t think modern chickens would exist at all. Ask anyone who’s kept chickens, keeping the hawks and foxes and raccoons etc. out of them is a constant and eternal struggle.
Laying hens also are productive way beyond their ancestors with 10-20 eggs, which takes a big toll on their bones. According to a study from the university of Kassel an estimated 23-69% per flock come to the slaughtering line with broken keelbones, wings and legs from egg calcium depletion, rough handling and crammed cages.
Egg factory farming is an all around brutal and despicable industry. Look up what forced molting and maceration means and get your own chickens if you’re able or eat scrambled tofu.
Ask anyone who’s kept chickens, keeping the hawks and foxes and raccoons etc. out of them is a constant and eternal struggle.
Two things I have learned as a chicken weirdo:
1.) Get dark colored chickens
2.) Get a big mean rooster.
I haven’t lost a chicken so far, but I have seen my bigass stupidly brave rooster take on all comers, he has defeated squirrels, snakes, frogs, mice, and a gopher that was apparently pretty bad at making connections. I’ve watched him chase off a cat and a pretty good sized dog. Foghorn Leghorn is more accurate than I realized.
But more than his incredible dinosaur kung-fu is that he is smart, and communicates with his hens. He will tell them to shelter in the coop, and they will run and hide. A hawk isn’t going to want to deal with 15 pounds of land-bird standing in a small doorway.
For the color, a black or gray chicken will be harder to see against the ground than a white one. Also, I think they look cooler than plain white chickens.
Broilers chickens are specially bred for fast growth and slaughtered when they weigh approximately four pounds, usually between seven and nine weeks of age. Birds between 12 and 20 weeks of age, typically weighing between five and ten pounds, are called roasters
Berkeley wants to turn the park where homeless people are staying into housing for homeless and undergraduates… While refreshing 60% of the park.
Why are people upset about housing homeless and undergrads? Is this some NIMBY shit but people dont think it’s NIMBY because it’s their park this time?
NIMBYs care about all sorts of things and are staunchly against progress and housing the young and poor alike. This is entirely NIMBYism dressed up in progressive aesthetics and language.
Since there are already buildings there and between zoning, tearing down existing buildings, building height limitations, parking minimums, moving tenants out, and possibly no net gain in units after new buildings are constructed what is accomplished?
Anyways miss me with the tone and do some actual investigation into this complexity.
It’s truly incredible how ignorant you can be about this while also feeling you can talk down. I hope you one day take an actual real look at the very real and brutal housing issues around us.
Berkeley is a public school. They’re building government housing. But, it doesn’t matter to the groups who see outrage as a virtue and stall the progress they neverendingly clamor for.
I know it was Hep C, but Hep C usually takes a LOOOOONNGG time to kill ya. Like, at least 20 years. Even then you die of cancer or cirrhosis of the liver. As far back as the 80’s they had interferon which isn’t perfect, but between all the factors she still would have been fairly unlucky to die from Hep C. Especially so young.
It wasn’t Hep C. though. People saying it was are talking about the book, which is different.
In 2019, Forrest Gump screenwriter Eric Roth confirmed that the illness Jenny died from was late-stage HIV. During an interview (via Yahoo Entertainment) about the film’s 25th anniversary, Roth discussed the details of a sequel that was canceled after the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001. He reveals that the Forrest Gump sequel was actually going to open with the revelation that Forrest Jr. had late-stage HIV, the result of acquiring the disease from his mother, Jenny.
I didn’t know that about the sequel. That’s pretty cool. I did know about the difference between the book and the movie. I read a similar discussion a few days ago. But your information is new to me.
As someone that contracted Hep C Genotype 2 from IV drug use, and has now been “cured” (meaning I have an undetectable viral load 10+ years later) though technically you are never cured from a virus. I did a brutal regimen of peg interferon and ribavirin for 6 months. The side effects are fucking horrible.
Because of this I have read about Hep C pretty exhaustively. Someone said that Jenny could have caught it from being sexually abused as a child from her father. While plausible, it is an incredibly remote chance. Hep C isn’t in body fluids like HIV. Hep C has to be blood to blood. The chances of transmission with surface blood to surface blood is incredibly remote not impossible, but not probable.
For these reasons and more it bothers me that Hep C is used as her killer in the book. It’s such an unlikely killer, and the main way you get it is through unsavory activities like IV drug use. It seems like the author chose Hep C just as a punishment for her horrible life choices. Almost like Jenny is a yin to Forrest’s yang.
Anyway, I could keep going on about this for more paragraphs, but you may know all this already, and even if you don’t you probably have better things to do with your time.
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