lemmyshitpost

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Kolanaki, in Damn I love pocky
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

shares twice because he like being dominated by Pocky

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

That’s what we call the double pokey

NutWrench, in Task failed successfully?
@NutWrench@lemmy.ml avatar

Never call cops to solve a problem for you because then you have TWO problems.

jpreston2005,

pro tip: Whatever problem you have, just throw a molotov cocktail at it.

now you have a totally different problem!

Emerald,

The good place! Amazing show

buddascrayon, in Task failed successfully?

I can’t find a single source or article about this. I think this a scare meme meant to frighten people away from using the new 988 suicide prevention hotline number.

This is a very irresponsible post that can harm a lot of people.

wafflez,

I think it was this but he gets shot by a state trooper, not the SWAT team. But SWAT members were called to try to help negociate. He had a gun and was intoxicated, which is kinda expexted with being suicidal anyways. It doesn’t show in the article him threatening anyone.

news.yahoo.com/suicidal-man-calls-crisis-hotline-…

jpreston2005,

another article for this incident, guess he came to the door during crisis negotiations, cop saw him with a gun, shot him. Did you think he’d be threatening to kill himself with an eggbeater, there, 15 year vet cop Sgt Jessie Hartsock?

www.wbaltv.com/article/…/44093015

AllNewTypeFace, in Yummy Mummy
@AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space avatar

There was once a dumb-crooks news story about some burglars who broke into a house, found an urn labelled Charlie and snorted the contents, thinking it must be cocaine. It was, of course, the ashes of a pet dog named Charlie.

Kolanaki, (edited )
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

“Whutsit say, Cletus?”

“C-H-A-R-L-I-E… Cocaine! We done hit pay dirt!”

Mr_Fish, in Sign now!

Stonehenge is infinitely more useful than a casino.

Imgonnatrythis,

Bullshit. Been there twice, no way that’s better than an all night buffet and loose slots.

Slovene,

No slot shaming!

Aux,

It’s only useful as a giant road block.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot,

Or for imprisioning Time Lords.

STRIKINGdebate2, (edited ) in And I will die on this hill.
@STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world avatar

Weird Al is a talentless hack who just makes lame jokes using other people’s work. Literally doesn’t make any thing orginal himself. There’s some who are worthy of being the modern day mozart and it’s sure as shit ain’t weird Al.

Alternative suggestions

Stevie Wonder

David Bowie

Thom Yorke

Kendrick Lamar

Björk

Surfan Stevens

Damon Alburn

Michael Gira

Trent Reznor

Dave Gilmour

David Bryne

And Andre 3000

ASeriesOfPoorChoices,

If being stupid and ignorant was your life goal, you’ve succeeded wildly.

Hikermick,

I wouldn’t say Weird AL is a talentless hack but you are right, he plays other people’s music and not known for anything he’s written. It’s not fair to compare him to a composer. Weird Al is more like a member of the orchestra.

nycki,

for all we know, so was mozart

Carlo,

I love it when my tags are vindicated. Here I had you tagged as ‘tasteless asshat’, and I clearly couldn’t have been more right.

tigeruppercut,

How do you tag on lemmy?

Carlo,

I use Sync, but I’m pretty sure there are multiple apps and/or browser extensions that will do it for you.

Saltblue,

You couldn’t scroll past this meme without letting us know your music preferences, it must have been hard trying to resist the urge.

tigeruppercut,

Literally doesn’t make any thing original himself.

Apart from all his original lyrics and musical arrangements, I guess this is true if you, y’know, ignore all the other original music he releases.

berkeleyblue, in Task failed successfully?
@berkeleyblue@lemmy.world avatar

Why the hell would you send a SWAT team to someone suicidal? O.o

Sanyanov, (edited )

Guess he called hotline saying he’s gonna take someone else’s life before his own?

kureta,

I hope so. otherwise this is just psychotic.

Mr_Fish, in Jolly Old Saint Schrödinger

Also explains how such a big guy can climb down nonexistent chimneys. He uses quantum tunneling to get into all the houses.

Honytawk,

In at least one of the universes the house will have a chimney

Aurenkin,

Hopefully all the Christmas decorations don’t cause any quantum entanglement as he rushes around.

lowleveldata, in Chairs for the lazy

I’m so going to “accidentally” clap my hand in the middle of a meeting

punkwalrus,
@punkwalrus@lemmy.world avatar

Having seen these in a demo, they have weight triggers to prevent that. Also in or demo, one got stuck on a power cord, the other on a electrical plate in the floor.

originalucifer, (edited ) in Task failed successfully?
@originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com avatar

saved himself a quarter by not usin one of them fancy suicide booths

Everythingispenguins,

That is why you put the quarter on a string

notannpc, in Task failed successfully?

I mean…technically the suicide was prevented.

DramaOppa,

Hahaha 🥹😂😂

bmsok, (edited ) in Task failed successfully?

To anyone who’s feeling down around this time of year, call 911 or 988. Nothing is better than having you around.

Edit:

I really feel strongly about this and I misworded my message. Get help if you need it.

You matter to me. I mean that with all of my heart.

OutlierBlue,

Nothing is better than having you around.

I get what you’re saying here, but it strikes me as funny that this sentence could also be read to mean that having nothing around is better than having you there.

bmsok,

Oh, wow. That’s a different take that I hadn’t considered. I’ll be anyone’s something. Even for a single comment… and that’s way better than nothing.

Deiv,

People like you always say that, but you don’t actually want/need that kind of responsibility. There are suicide hotlines for a reason; let trained people handle it.

bmsok, (edited )

People like me?.. I don’t like to reveal a lot about myself online. That being said, I’ve talked many people out of committing suicide or self harm. I’ve said before in other comments that I’m in the medical field at a high level.

Positive mental health treatment is an extremely important subject to me. I stand by what I’ve said because I’ve been there when people have been in crisis.

Kneeling down and talking to a newly diagnosed schizophrenic 18 year old in an isolation room or a suicidal 16 year old girl is not easy and sometimes even dangerous.

All I’m trying to do here is give people immediately available resources if they’re feeling unwell.

Naz,

Given the context of the post, might not be the best idea

pixeltree,

Uhhhhhhhhh, very funny to recommend calling the police in the comments on a post about a man getting killed by the police because he called for help.

Skates, (edited )

Please don’t suggest that people call 911. Not in the replies to this article.

bmsok,

911 doesn’t just activate police. It activates Fire and Emergency Medical Srvices aka ambulances if your life is in danger for any reason.

Sidhean,

cops murder suicidal man

if youre suicidal, get thr cops involved!

I love your energy, friend. Thank you for caring about strangers. In this world, that means a lot. However, I think this advice is very region-specific. In most of America, for instance, this isn’t good advice. This is closer to calling the Army than a crisis counsellor. In other places, where police have the resources to help someone in this position, this may be excellent advice.

There are probably better places to direct people for resources like this. Don’t stop fighting; fight more effectively. If you can’t find anything better to link people, @ me and I’ll try to help

<3

hangonasecond,

Can’t you ask for an ambulance when you call the emergency line? That’s how it is in Australia.

madmaurice, in The American mind cannot comprehend this
@madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

To be fair. That’s the Christmas market on the Altmarkt in Dresden and there’s a huge parking garage right below it. 😄

PP_BOY_,
@PP_BOY_@lemmy.world avatar

Americans thinking that Europeans don’t own cars is almost as dumb as Europeans thinking Americans never walk anywhere.

thedirtyknapkin,

i mean… I’m basically the only American i know that has actually chosen to walk as a real way to get somewhere in the last 5 years.

the idea that most Americans literally never walk anywhere isn’t inaccurate. especially for anyone living outside of a city.

canihasaccount,

deleted_by_author

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  • CrowAirbrush,

    Then your colleague must be Beau Miles obviously /s

    PsychedSy,

    All of my colleagues drive 45m to 1.5hr to work in standard sized trucks.

    madmaurice,
    @madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    Well you obviously can’t drive the truck to the bathroom. 🤡 jk

    norgur,
    @norgur@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    Well, I was in a student exchange to Boise, Idaho about 20 years ago and did a daily walk around the neighborhood for some fresh air. Three days in, I was stopped by a frantic police officer with his fucking gun drawn because someone had reported me as some kind of child molester who was scouting for victims, because someone just walking was a completely alien concept there.

    I was taken to the fucking police station because the policeman thought I was making shit up either. My host family had to wiggle around with my German passport and threaten to get the Embassy involved until they decided I wasn’t worth the hassle and dropped the whole thing… So I learned two things from that exchange:

    1. 'Muricans do not know what “walking” is
    2. US police is next level power tripping
    LemmyIsFantastic, in The American mind cannot comprehend this

    It’s like none of you have actually been to a city in the USA having an event. Do any of you see times square on various holidays or have been to a parade?

    wsweg,

    But America bad and its people stupid

    adorablepeanut,

    Well, no. However, the way that roughly half of y’all vote is utterly incomprehensible from this side of the pond.

    Hyperreality, (edited )

    I find these kinds of threads funny.

    Someone makes an admittedly lame jokey stereotype about the US.

    A bit like a broad stereotype about the French liking baguettes, the Scots hating Scots, the Brits having bad teeth and talking like Austin Powers, or Germans not having a sense of humour. Even the Germans don't get offended. They've been taught that this is meant to be funny, and that the rules of etiquette suggest they should not be offended by it.

    But the real punch line is always some humourless Americans taking it at face value and getting genuinely offended. "They're saying we don't have public transport. They're clearly idiots!"

    Do any of you see times square on various holidays or have been to a parade?

    No. No one outside the US has ever heard of New York. Just like everyone in the US drives a pickup truck everywhere. lol

    LemmyIsFantastic,

    👌

    PsychedSy,

    We’ll join in unoffended when there’s a mass shooting joke.

    satans_crackpipe, in Merry ChristmaX

    I would be pissed if I got a 10/100 catalyst switch too.

    HiddenLayer5,
    @HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml avatar

    It’s not Santa’s fault, he’s thousands of years old so he probably had his IT stack built out ages ago and never bothered to consider upgrades so he just assumed that 10/100 was still state of the art!

    BeardedGingerWonder,

    He’s probably using cloud services, makes sense, why build out infra he’ll have to manage 365 when he basically needs it 2 months a year?

    HiddenLayer5,
    @HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml avatar

    Wonder if he uses Amazon Glacier

    BeardedGingerWonder,

    Anyone got any idea on data retention requirements for Lapland?

    ChickenLadyLovesLife,

    Aha, that’s why I never get what I want for Christmas: classic ASP.

    HiddenLayer5,
    @HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml avatar

    You might end up with an asp instead!

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