lemmyshitpost

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TimewornTraveler, in How much for cuddles?

Holy fucking shit his face…

This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.

LemmyKnowsBest,

He looks like a man who forgot that divorce is an option.

psycho_driver, in Got this text. Seems legit, but I'm kind of suspicious.

Candygram.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0aa3ffd3-f7e0-4f0e-86cb-5e2771672f38.png

Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

jayrodtheoldbod, in Got this text. Seems legit, but I'm kind of suspicious.

That’s what you get for being a queen

dankm, in Learn something new every day

It’s an older meme, but it checks out.

anonymouse, in Giddy up partner, we got to get this wagon train a-movin'!

Horseboy just sounds wrong tho

rdri,

Horseman more like it.

Melt,

Half man, half horse is called centaur, so full man, full horse is called double centaur?

mojofrododojo,

I pity the poor clydesdale a Centaur Horseman rides into battle.

Hotdogman,

Mancow horse

Zozano, (edited ) in How much for cuddles?

Step 1: drink water

Step 2: piss

Step 3: put seat down

Step 4: repeat 5 more times

Step 5: wait till I’m nagged

Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat

Step 7: continue ignoring child’s needs

Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is

Fades, in How much for cuddles?

Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

Smoogs,

Why is she also the therapist? He’s a grown adult and could take some initiative.

Ilovethebomb, in Opposite of clickbait

That’s a two hour movie condensed into one sentence.

Holyhandgrenade,
@Holyhandgrenade@lemmy.world avatar

Or 22 episodes of a soap opera

theedqueen,

It’s actually kinda the premise of this old Chinese drama from like the 90s. It’s called the Plum Blossom Birthmark. This woman gives birth to a girl but decides to give her up because the show takes place in old times and she felt her position was threatened because her husband had taken on a concubine so she decides to swap out her baby girl for a boy. She brands the girl with a plum blossom mark on her back so that she can maybe find her later. Years later the little girl and boy grow up and fall in love.

aeronmelon,

The families seriously need to auction off the movie rights, they’ve got it made now.

MeDuViNoX, in Let's not mention that His dad was looking at your dick.
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

I can’t touch the bottom of a tuna can, but I can blow the sides out of it!

AnonWyo,

Why the hell ya sticking your dick in a tuna can?

MeDuViNoX,
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

It’s the only place that reminds me of her.

B1naryB0t, in Let's not mention that His dad was looking at your dick.

Back in his day a small dick was considered civilized and even divine. A large dick was considered brutish and barbaric.

lowleveldata,

TIL I’m born divine

seiryth, (edited )

Funny what happens when the small dicked get into positions of influence

TheDoozer, in Opposite of clickbait

That headline was a rollercoaster.

awwwyissss,

No exaggeration I need nap after reading that.

MeDuViNoX, in Well........
@MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’d double down and attempt to pierce another one through the back of the first.

ininewcrow, in What's wrong, babe? You've barely touched your Elmor's...
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Now with Vitamin R!

unreachable, in Opposite of clickbait
@unreachable@lemmy.world avatar

JAV title

ininewcrow, in Let's not mention that His dad was looking at your dick.
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Plot twist … Jesus is the father … of himself!

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