Satan wins again. At this point the Christians have to admit they chose the losing side.
I mean this God of theirs is shit, can’t even get around satellites, didn’t think humans might beat their cocks raw despite seeing it constantly in Human 1.0 (Chimps), or that they might eat fish on a Tuesday or whatever. Even Jesus was fucking a whore and he was God incarnate.
There does seem to be an effort made to get rid of her by the early church followers. Implying that she was a whore could have been a strategy. It’s weird because the Johannine community tried to save her in text. Which would mean it was the Paul crowd that did it and there is not a clear reason why. She would have had little interactions with the Paul community.
The Christ confessor in Mark, Luke, and Matthew is Peter while Mary gets to go to the cave. In John the Christ confessor is Mary and she gets to go to the cave. The early church fathers liked to really play up her supposed life of being a whore before repentance. Meanwhile Paul hints at her existence and says nice things about her. At the same time Mark makes her so dumb she “tells no one” about what would be the single most important moment in Christianity while Luke and Matthew give her a helper to make the right decision.
It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what happened but there is a trend. She goes from being a major leader of the earliest church to a whore that Jesus saves and is too stupid to know what she saw. If I had to take a bet: she was part of the very early church, funded and organized a lot, and had some falling out probably with someone from Paul’s community. So Mark tried to memoryhole her and would have done it except John had some story about how she rocked and saved her.
What do you mean the Christ Confessor? In Matthew 28 , Peter isn’t mentioned, but Mary finds the empty tomb. In John 20 and Luke 24, Peter runs to the tomb after being told by Mary. In all of these accounts, Peter is given a position which appears to be “lesser” than Mary Magdelene. In Mark, she was too afraid to tell anyone until Jesus appeared to her and reassured her (John goes into detail about this, and notes how she was crying in distress). If she actually didn’t tell anyone permanently, that fact wouldn’t have been recorded.
Also worth mentioning, she had seven demons driven out. Wasn’t a whore. This is basically just a weirdly elaborate theory which doesn’t really hold any water or value whatsoever.
Christ confessor: the person who answers Jesus when he asks who I am for the first time. Check for yourself the first three gospels it is Peter the fourth it is Mary.
The endings of Mark wasn’t part of the original. They were attempts at harmonizing the text. The original ending ends with Mary fleeing the tomb and telling no one.
The original ending was likely a literary device - perhaps encouraging the reader to do what Jesus said as Mary wouldn’t do it. It is still recognised as a very early addition, and the fact it was just someone tying up the story to make it read better was also recorded early on. As a matter of fact, if you remove verse 8, it actually makes sense again, so verse 8 seems to be an intentional cliffhanger.
You are right there in the sense that we know the early church added on to it, but basically every copy of the Bible I have minus the KJV (which doesn’t use footnotes and is from 1611 anyway) mentions that they were added on. They aren’t even that significant, unless you’re that snake handling denomination. Everything said there is backed up by the other three gospels.
It is only backed up because the other gospels plagiarized from it. This is like being amazed that Batman is an orphan in the comics, movies, cartoons, and graphic novels.
Mark diminished Mary’s role just like he did with the entire ministry. Matthew invented what happened next by trying to figure out what Paul was talking about in the letters.
Welcome to the Bible where what really happened doesn’t matter.
True. If only the was more than one story from his life between being a child, and being in his 30s… Oh well I guess we’ll just have to assume he lived as a monk and denied himself of anything pleasurable 🙄
Though I recently learned that there is a book about it, it’s just that it wasn’t chosen to be “canonical,” and therefore means you can ignore it completely? Curiously, Jesus does some really fucked up things in that book, including showing off his powers, and killing people just to bring them back to life. The Infancy Gospel of Thomas is the book btw.
Who gets to decide that book isn’t true but the rest are?
The infancy Gospel of Thomas was written well over one hundred years after Jesus had already left earth, in the second century. It claimed that Jesus performed random frivolous miracles for fun, when the Gospel of John said that the water to wine miracle was the first. We also don’t know who “Thomas the Israelite” is either.
It’s likely just something someone made up to try and give a narrative for Jesus’ childhood.
Jesus also likely cast the demons out of Mary Magdalene while in His thirties. Jesus wouldn’t need a female partner if He actually was truly God.
The Gospel of Mark probably dates from c. AD 66–70, Matthew and Luke around AD 85–90, and John AD 90–110. Despite the traditional ascriptions, all four are anonymous and most scholars agree that none were written by eyewitnesses.
What are you trying to prove? The infancy gospel of thomas was written likely around 180AD and even then, people were already calling it out as being a fake.
You clearly aren’t looking for an open-minded discussion by calling me “delusional”, anyway.
Imagine using such a piss poor method of finding truth for literally anything in your life besides religion.
Would you consider me delusional if I told you that I have an invisible dragon in my garage, and that he’s died several times, and has returned to Earth after each time?
Come on by my garage, the dragon’s right there. Though I guess I did forget to mention that he’s invisible.
(In case you weren’t aware, I’m referencing a famous Carl Sagan essay/short story from his book “The Demon-Haunted World - Science as a Candle in the Dark” and obviously he did a much better job laying it out than I ever could. Here is the text of the essay plus explanation: rationalwiki.org/wiki/The_Dragon_in_My_Garage. By the way, incredible book that should be required reading for every adult human on the planet.)
Here is the conclusion of the essay where he does a pretty good job explaining what the point of it was:
Now, what’s the difference between an invisible, incorporeal, floating dragon who spits heatless fire and no dragon at all? If there’s no way to disprove my contention, no conceivable experiment that would count against it, what does it mean to say that my dragon exists? Your inability to invalidate my hypothesis is not at all the same thing as proving it true. Claims that cannot be tested, assertions immune to disproof are veridically worthless, whatever value they may have in inspiring us or in exciting our sense of wonder. What I’m asking you to do comes down to believing, in the absence of evidence, on my say-so.
I do ask you though, how would you prove God, if He was real? It’s not like you can say “if God is real, then ice would melt if exposed to heat”, could you?
I don’t know. Scientific evidence that is reproducible would be a good start. The scientific method is the only method I’m aware of that we have to accurately explain and predict the natural processes surrounding us.
One thing I do know, if I were God and I wanted people to know I was real, I would know exactly how to do that. There wouldn’t be a question about which sect is correct, because I am all-knowing; I know exactly what it would take for each person.
But we also know that there are people who will not go to heaven, and instead will suffer for eternity in absence of God… So that means that there are people (quite a few) that God created knowing full well that they are “destined” to burn for eternity. Sorry, but that’s really fucked up.
The scientific method isn’t the only method. It cannot explain why the United Kingdom formed or why WWII happened.
I think it is a matter of perspective. Phil walked into a room and the kettle was boiling. Gregory was already in that room. Phil asked Gregory why the kettle was boiling. Gregory started talking about the heating element, electricity, how it heats the water, why water boils, etc. Then Bill walks in, and Phil asks Bill why the kettle is boiling. Bill responds with “because I wanted a cup of tea!”
Then, there is the historical method.
You say that there wouldn’t be a question over what sect is correct. But history records a man who lived around two thousand years ago who said he is “the only way”. He also claimed that he was God. Was he just a madman? Anyone can claim to be god. Well, no, because he had miracles to back him up. He was born of a virgin as well and ended up being executed, then somehow coming back to life, and was seen by many people. Then he was seen ascending into heaven. Not only does our past history point to this man, but his past history pointed to this man. There are writings predicting him that even outdate him. And it’s not like throwing spaghetti towards the wall, as those writings were being actively held to those people that held them - yet many of them who witnessed his miracles did not believe, one even betrayed him. And then after death, he sent his spirit to aid many people in telling the world about him. To this day, people count the year based on days since his birth.
What I tell you is good news. This man is not just a man. He is Jesus Christ. History points to him.
Salvation is a free gift from Jesus. Even the tiny amount of faith saves from Hell. And if you think this is still mean, that doesn’t disprove the reality. The fact your body will decay in the earth and you’ll probably be forgotten is a cruel fact which many don’t like, but it is reality.
Salvation is free. And it’s offered to everybody. No matter their race, age, gender or background.
Empirical reasoning, of which the scientific method is a tool. If you think history is the same thing as faith, then you have no idea what reality is. We don’t even know if Jesus even really existed, a problem that we don’t have for others who were alive at that time. The Bible isn’t a historical record.
My friend, don’t waste your time. As soon as I saw that you’re attempting to proselytize, I chose not to continue reading your comment. I spent ~20 years of my life as an evangelical Christian, and I probably know the Bible better than you do. I have no interest in your hateful ideology.
I honestly feel bad for people like you… You dedicate your life to a lie, while simultaneously becoming a smug loser that nobody wants to talk to because they never shut the fuck up about the invisible magic man that has a history of accepting large amounts of children’s foreskins as a gift. Totally normal, reasonable stuff. Makes complete sense.
Don’t even want to get started on Job. Or the horrific events that took place with Lot’s family in Sodom & Gamorrah. Or the first born Egyptian kids who didn’t deserve to die. blahblahblabh etc.
The Bible is more of a historical record than a scientific textbook. Around the same time of Jesus, Mt Vesuvius erupted destroying Pompeii. An event that was likely witnessed by tens of thousands of people and killed many wealthy romans. Yet we only have one historical record of it from it’s time. The rest of the records are archaeological. Historical figures accept the birthplace of Julius Caesar as Suburra, Italy, without question, despite there only being a single source written 175 years written after the fact. The earliest source we have to Alexander the great was written around 300 years after his death, yet people accept that without question. Heck, going back to birthplaces, we even have three accounts within 90 years of Jesus existence and archaeological evidence of very early first century pilgrimages to show that Jesus was born in Bethlehem. Yet people dispute that, and you claim that “We don’t even know if Jesus even existed”
It seems your main problem is that personally, you think that God is “mean”, so therefore you try and convince yourself that He doesn’t exist, even if it means applying an unfair standard to the historicity of Jesus.
Many Evangelical circles don’t teach you crap, they deliberately empty the faith to it’s barebones. Some of them are very toxic and really just care about politics. Knowing just the Bible and nothing else without knowing how it came about and early church history, historical context, etc, can leave someone lost. But like how the father forgave his prodigal son and partied, you can always come back to God.
So I would recommend dropping the intellectually-dishonest standards and coming back to Him.
Maybe you missed the part where I said I’m not reading your comments? Please stop wasting your time. I see Satan/Lucufer as “the good guy” in your holy book, and I see your “god” as pure evil.
I truly do not care what kind of weird mental gymnastics you can do to justify believing something so idiotic. It’s not necessary.
(By the way, there was no census in that area at that time. And even if there was, they only counted adult males. There would be zero reason for a pregnant woman to return home for a census, that’s fucking stupid. Also, you know, assuming a single word of it is true, she definitely fucked a dude…)
Yahweh committed genocide several times, usually for no reason. He is petty and acts out on petty human emotions like jealousy.
He creates humanity, only to damn them to eternal damnation. He knows all (all the hairs on your head, “it’s part of god’s plan,” etc.) about the lives of all humans from the moment they are born, therefore, it stands to reason that there are humans that were created with the sole purpose of suffering for eternity in hell. Sounds like a great guy. He “loves” you, but gets jealous and will punish you for eternity for even the most minor slight against his pride. That’s abusive.
Let’s compare that to Lucifer/Satan/etc. How many people is he responsible for killing in the Bible? Spoiler: none.
The serpent did not give Eve the fruit, nor did he even tell either of them to eat it. He simply told her that eating the fruit would give her the knowledge of good and evil (let’s set aside how fucked up it is that god would create fruit with that capability, and tell them they can’t eat it. Why? Who would do that? He didn’t want humanity to understand the difference between good and evil? Why would he want that? Why are you OK with this? Sounds abusive).
Who is responsible for literally killing Job’s family and livestock, basically ruining his life, over a bet? Another spoiler: it wasn’t Satan.
How about slavery. Should we be living our lives based on an ancient, non-historical, book that includes specific rules around buying/selling/beating/fucking slaves? Does that seem like a good idea?
Getting your most loyal servant to almost murder his child for a laugh. Abusive.
You are in an abusive relationship with your god.
Should we get into foreskins, or have you had enough? I could give reasons your religion is wrong for hours without repeating myself.
Neither of them exist, of course, but if I had to choose between god and Lucifer, the choice is pretty fucking clear. Your god could prove itself to me tomorrow, and I would still refuse to follow that evil piece of shit.
Exactly. Everyone knows that Jesus navigates based his position relative to the the absolute position of celestial bodies. That and there is no way that a simple, unarmored satelite would make it past his point-defense batteries and compromise his re-entry trajectory.
(4) Protestants doing an unholy amalgamation of Catholic spirituality and Rational Scientific Inquiry to reach absurdist conclusions at their intersection.
Nar man. It isn’t all about idiocy. Not everyone has your level of education; and even aside from that, people tend to grab bits and pieces of ideas that support what they already believe.
So if someone believes in god and the power of pray etc. but they feel that life still isn’t going there way - they might see some value in this ‘reason’. And even if this evil satellite thing is still implausible, a person might take bits of the idea to make their own version about something / someone else blocking prays. It could be 4G radiation, or vaccine microchips, or some other boogieman crap. It all feeds into a persons broader ‘understanding’ of how things could be even if they don’t take in the whole idea.
You and I are basically immune to this particular post. It just looks like total garbage immediately. But it is incorrect and dangerous to think that only ‘idiots’ can be conned or tricked. All it takes is for someone to post ideas on the boundaries of what you understand, with a taste of what you want to hear. That’s what hooks people in. For smart and educated people, that boundary of understanding can be pretty far in - but it still exists, and that’s where the manipulation can still get them.
Yeah, I hear you, but this is a person that is unconscious, I mean if they’re using the internet to post stuff, have they even thought or tried to understand one iota of what the hell is going on?
I’ve met some smart people that make these reasoning errors because they want to believe that phenomena just cannot be complex. Not even I’m excluded from these errors, I’m also just human.
I can sympathize with uneducated people and them grasping for fictitious enemies because they lack control of and in their own lives.
What makes things even worse is that this is supposed a pastor, and he’s using his authority to spread this bullcrap.
I’m not immune to this type of misinformed and irrational thinking, but I think my confusion results from more sophisticated material in many cases, that being said I still hold irrational ideas around conspiracies, but I don’t hold them as gospel, merely as possibiliry.
Unfortunately even us educated people might not be spared when generative AI begins to rewrite our history in each of our 5 senses and leaves us no way to look back in time to find the ground truth.
If there’s something the internet has confirmed since its’ inception, is that humanity is both incredibly clever and incredibly stupid, in equal measure, beyond what I ever imagined was possible, beyond what I could conceive.
That sounds like the story of those Christians who were afraid of lightning rods because it might interfere with their God’s ability to punish people by lightning.
I consider these associations of QOL improvements with mythical characteristics attempts of narrative control, with which religious leaders could exert power over new developments. My assumption is that previously, organised religions were powerful and agile enough in their narrative that those new development could be held in control of the religion, but with the beginning of exponential and distributed knowledge production they were kinda outnumbered and became as weird as they are today. I have no motivation or sources to back this up, though.
The all-powerful all-knowing Creator Of The Universe… needs little old ladies to at least once a week open up their pocketbooks and make a check out to The Creator, through His official human regional managers, because The Creator Of The Universe… does not have direct access to the Federal Reserve or any of the banks, and even with a constant stream of revenue from little old ladies AND a privileged tax status, He ALWAYS seems to be bitching and whining about how He. Needs. More. Money! I guess?
i feel like hes almost too articulate even in his typos for this to be non parody. this sounds like a non stupid guy making a joke for religious idiots to fall for.
No, you’re mistaken. Lonnie is on the Right, which means his satellites reflect and amplify prayers. Or at least get a pass. He hates LGBTQ people, so he’s “good.” /s
No need for /s because that’s exactly how it works.
“If you hate the right people and say the right things, you are Good People, and Good People can’t do no wrong. If you’re not one of the Good People, you can do no right. Laws and rationalizations are there to punish those that are not Good People.”
I kind of hope it’s real. Down that path at some point they’ll decide the whole Internet and all modern technologies are satanist and leave Internet for good. They can embrace the Amish lifestyle, it’s a win for the rest of us.
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