LoremIpsumGenerator,

I want what this guy smoking. Their angels need to go flight school again.

Lemminary,

All those prayers from soccer fans for their team to win the World Cup were being intercepted all along 😥

ChapulinColorado,

That explains all the USA and Russian World Cup championships won. Too much technology 😧

matlag,

I kind of hope it’s real. Down that path at some point they’ll decide the whole Internet and all modern technologies are satanist and leave Internet for good. They can embrace the Amish lifestyle, it’s a win for the rest of us.

Sabata11792,
@Sabata11792@kbin.social avatar

You obviously never got stuck behind a horse and buggy on the road and it shows.

afraid_of_zombies,

You are allowed to pass them even if there is a double yellow.

ObviouslyNotBanana,
@ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world avatar

National Association of Satan’s Atheists, or NASA.

AceFuzzLord,

So, they’re saying that man made satellites are able to stop God that he’s not all powerful and that we’re more powerful than God?

Or is it that technology is bad and we need to go back to pre-technology times when life was so much worse for the average human so that way some religious nut jobs can continue praying to a being that they’ve essentially admitted to not being all powerful?

SinningStromgald,

Just imagine Jesus up in space bouncing from satellite to satellite getting all pissed off cause he just wants to get to earth and get this second coming shit over with so he can go back to heaven and bang some angels.

Ghyste,

Is this a parody account? It’s impossible to tell anymore.

digeridoo,

This isn’t real, right? RIGHT!?

mypasswordis1234,
@mypasswordis1234@lemmy.world avatar

Only God can tell. Oh, wait-

YoorWeb,

Big if true

Pyroglyph,
@Pyroglyph@lemmy.world avatar

Conveniently forgetting the “God exists within all of us” schpiel that they made up as soon as we went to space and found nothing there.

Definitely either parody or very stupid.

ColonelSanders,

Evel

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

All prayers are being converted to “bring back Evel Knievel.” We really want him back.

BananaPeal, (edited )
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

This is the right amount of crazy that I’m not sure if it’s honest or parody for this country.

Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he’s in my heart, checkmate atheists.

Sabata11792, (edited )
@Sabata11792@kbin.social avatar

This is the right amount of crazy to accidentally become real.

metaStatic,
AnonWyo,

Your cardiologist would like a word about having a 2,000 year old corpse in your heart.

jaybone,

But the body of Christ is bread.

AnonWyo,

Good. Christ can keep me hydrated.

Carbohydrated.

jaybone,

I’m not sure that’s how carbonation works.

But his blood will make you dehydrated.

CanadianCarl,

Which country?

BananaPeal,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

The gun and Christian fundamentalist one.

AnonWyo,

MAGA. We put the Fun in “fundamental.”

CareHare,

It sounds horrifying if you put it like that. ):

Lifebandit666,

That’s not Jesus in your heart, it’s a worm

BananaPeal,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

Wait, is that why people were taking ivermectin? Not to cure COVID, but to get rid of their Jesus heart worm?

yemmly,

Amen!

Therealgoodjanet,

This is a parody account, right? Right?

youCanCallMeDragon,
@youCanCallMeDragon@lemmy.world avatar

It must be there’s no way this is real.

Oh dip, nice username

Therealgoodjanet,

Thank you!

sock,

i feel like hes almost too articulate even in his typos for this to be non parody. this sounds like a non stupid guy making a joke for religious idiots to fall for.

dakial,

I used to be sure of these things in the past, but now I ain’t so sure anymore…

promitheas,
@promitheas@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

God: All knowing and all powerful But wait, satellites, oh no!

Bulletproof logic

nnullzz,

They say as they post from a mobile device providing internet connection via a satellite.

explodicle,

Wait, really? I just assumed it went from my phone to the tower, and then all solid wires from there.

whatwhatwhatwhat,

You’re correct. Unless you’re using WiFi on your phone that’s backed by satellite internet (Starlink, etc).

Numpty,

Generally, you use the radio network from mobile phone to cell tower, and then fibre optic to the switches. Sometimes they use microwave line of sight for surface-to-surface connections where fibre doesn’t make sense, or is unviable (terrain, distance, cost, difficulty of laying fibre, etc.). It’s possible that there could be a satellite connection in the process, but unlikely unless you’re on an airplane, a ship, etc.

The GPS on the mobile phone definitely does use satellite (receive only though, no transmit).

Serinus, (edited )

I’m not an expert, but I believe the phone will usually start by geolocating your IP address, getting satellite positions based on your rough position and the exact time, and only uses satellites for precision.

Your phone will take much, much longer to pinpoint your location if your phone has been in airplane mode.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assisted_GNSS

frezik,

There’s a few different techniques. The crudest is to check what cell tower you’re connected to and use its location as your location. Good enough to find what sandwich shops are in the area, but not precise enough for driving instructions. That takes GPS satellites.

Flat earthers sometimes confuse these modes to say your phone only connects to local towers. Most people don’t know the details and don’t know how to refute it.

smeenz,

That used for be true. But recently, they have added 5G to starlink satellites so your phone can actually talk directly to satellites if it can’t reach a terrestrial service.

space.com/spacex-launches-1st-5g-satellite-intern…

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