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pewgar_seemsimandroid, in Hill to die on

i side mostly with mental outlaw

doublejay1999, in Hill to die on
@doublejay1999@lemmy.world avatar

A genocidal state.

kambusha, in Different strokes

I first understood this as if they got separated/divorced in the middle of the flight šŸ˜¬

FridayChad, in Hill to die on

No one in the Arabic/muslim world really cares about Palestine. Meanwhile Israel is winning this war on terror. We will never forget this 07. October. Nowā€˜s payday. And soon West Bank will be inhabited by jewish people.

NatakuNox,
@NatakuNox@lemmy.world avatar

Palestinians are not All Arabic nor Muslim. (saying Arabic/Muslim shows how little people understand the difference. Itā€™s as dumb as saying Caucasian/Christian. You can be one, both, or none.) Palestinian genetically are a mix of all Mediterranean peoples. And that includes Greek, European, and Arabs. Also, the Palestinian people are more secular than the surrounding Muslim countriesā€¦ Second, there is no winning a war on terror. Not in the way you are thinking anyways. Every innocent person killed by Israel spawns new terrorists. Itā€™s unwinnable through violence.

Ullallulloo,
@Ullallulloo@civilloquy.com avatar

Twenty years ago there was some diversity in Gaza, but since Hamas took control and the state began condoning murder of minority groups, it has now become literally 99% Arabic and even more Muslim than that.

NatakuNox,
@NatakuNox@lemmy.world avatar

Just false. Yes Hamas has been terrorizing the minority populations but the genetics of the Palestinian people hasnā€™t become more Arabic and Islam is the only ā€œstate sanctionedā€ religion but the people of Palestine are still largely secular. Iā€™m technically ā€œChristianā€ but I donā€™t practice and bow my head when prayer is said at family dinners. Itā€™s simular in Palestinian people just nood along with the religion zealots among them because it just makes life easier.

NatakuNox,
@NatakuNox@lemmy.world avatar

And sorry for the double response but what in the actual fuck is 99% Arabic? For starters, minus un-contacted tribes on islands and forests, there are no 99% ethnic people on earth! If someone is 33% Caucasian, 33% Arabic, and 33% Asian what are they to you? Because your words indicates it matters. Your words implies the 1% rule used by racist to justify atrocities. (1% rule is if someone has 1% of blood outside of ā€œwhiteā€ means they are the other race.) All I see is humans being killed in Gaza.

TLDR: there are no large population of people that are 99% of anything. Even more so in the fucking Mediterranean.

Revan343,

Israel are terrorists, and invaders in the West Bank deserve to be shot

ynthrepic, (edited )
@ynthrepic@lemmy.world avatar

The West Bank is already inhabited by illegal Jewish settlements. Itā€™s a big part of why Hamas were provoked into October 7th and very much why the Arab world and wider international community have been so critical of Israel since well before this conflict.

Hamas still need to be stopped, but the current war is a terrible humanitarian tragedy that didnā€™t need to happen this way. The Israeli government could have vowed to end Hamas without a land war in Gaza, which anyone with half a brain should realize would inevitably lead to massive civilian casualties due to the population density of Gaza and how Hamas operate by martyring their own people in the name of Jihad - as it indeed has.

I donā€™t believe Israel is an apartheid state - thatā€™s an exaggeration for sure. Plenty of Palestinian representation in Israel. Not enough, but more than we give the situation credit for. Nevertheless, what theyā€™re doing now is horrific, and how the Netanyahu government has been enabling the Jewish settlementation of the West Bank by forcing Palestians off their land is deeply unethical and an insult to human rights and dignity. Imagine being forced out of the only home you and your family have ever known? Itā€™s ghastly.

Bottom line is this could have been done differently with the right political will. Iā€™m no expert, but here are some reasonable ideas: Properly evacuate everyone who wishes to leave and encourage Egypt to do their part to take in refugees, and any other Arab states. Create a safe, well defended evacuation route for refugees to flee, and keep it open, while you tightly secure the blockade around Gaza, and block/flood/raid the tunnels. Then, most importantly, for all Palestinian refugees, promise a ā€œright of returnā€ back to Gaza/West-Bank, or Israel proper to be a citizen of ā€œIsraeli-Palestineā€ which covers the whole area, after the war. What we might call a ā€œ1.5ā€ state solution. Two states working together to help each other. Over time, work hard to find or build homes for refugees and all displaced Palestinian diaspora as close to where they came from as possible. Finally for the stability of the future, encourage local Palestians and Jews, whether they live in Israeli or Palestian controlled territories, to get along with each other and support these efforts with strong social programs.

Alas.

Hamas are terrorists yes. But there are plenty of good reasons to despise Netanyahu and his government.

LinkOpensChest_wav,

Itā€™s funny how you claim Israel is ā€œwinning this war on terror,ā€ yet everything after that in your comment sounds like something a terrorist would say.

VaultBoyNewVegas, (edited )

Nevermind mind the fact the war on terror was something the US came up with and then badly fucked that up. Dudeā€™s not even a competent troll.

LinkOpensChest_wav,

From the POV of the US, Iā€™d argue that the war on terror was a rousing success. They got the surveillance state they wanted.

AngryCommieKender,

War on Drugs caused drugs to become more available, more potent, and cheaper.

War on Terror has created entirely new terrorist organizations.

Could we have a War on Wealth?

Carlo,

I mean, based on these other examples, it seems like a real monkeyā€™s paw situation. Weā€™d probably just get a few more asshat billionaires out of it.

lugal,

What they meant to say is: ā€œIsrael is winning the war on terror on the side of terrorā€

HenriVolney,

Thatā€™s rhe spirit! I guess a good Palestinian is a dead Palestinian, amiright?

Psychodelic,

evil (n.): a manifestation of profound immorality and wickedness, especially in peopleā€™s actions.

OpenStars, in kitten
@OpenStars@discuss.online avatar

I regret nothing

barkingspiders, in Lex fridman is Joe Rogan in a suit
@barkingspiders@infosec.pub avatar

When youā€™re right youā€™re right

dataprolet, in Hill to die on
@dataprolet@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Israel is discriminating non-citizens like every other state while e. g. Arabic citizens have full civil rights. As much as you might hate Israel, this is not Apartheit.

foggianism,

Educate yourself on the matter before you continue spouting nonsense: youtube.com/watch?v=Q_MDC2Gty4I&si=x4COLgcQIaā€¦

LinkOpensChest_wav,

Damn, this is embarrassing

iAvicenna, in Into the endless expanse with them
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

This should be the new ā€œeat the richā€

Grandwolf319, in Hill to die on

I mean, Patterson was good but bail is iconic. The dark knight trilogy were so big, it made most movies gritty.

jagoan,

Unpopular opinion: Bale happened to be the Batman of the best Batman movie, his Batman is kinda meh. And I wish Afflect was in better Batman movies.

altima_neo, (edited )
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

Shame they arenā€™t still using him. He makes a good, grizzled Batman that just doesnā€™t play around anymore.

CodexArcanum,

Now that you call it out, I agree! Bale gets a lot of praise for his ability to morph his body for different roles, but is otherwise only alright as an actor. But he happens to be in many great movies with other iconic figures which really elevates his cachet.

Affleck is pretty good. I also really liked Pattensonā€™s emo sad-Bruce version quite a bit more than I expected to. For me, nothing will ever be as nostalgic and iconic as the Tim/Conroy animated portrayal.

SupraMario,

I was a fan of the dark Knight trilogy and thought no one is topping this, but Pattenson nailed it. I honestly like his Batman better now, and hope they continue with it.

scytale,

Batfleck definitely has the look and is more comic ā€œaccurateā€. Iā€™m sure he wouldā€™ve killed it in a better film and not directed by Snyder.

RQG,
@RQG@lemmy.world avatar

Petterson is iconic but he would be nothing without Findus.

aulin,

Ahaha! I see what you did there.

^(Itā€™s just unfortunate that his name is actually Pettson.)

RQG,
@RQG@lemmy.world avatar

I only know the German translation where the name is Petterson.

AstralPath, in Lex fridman is Joe Rogan in a suit

His subreddit is a massive echo chamber. I got insta-banned for daring to have any criticism of one of his opinions; a criticism so mild it shouldnā€™t have attracted any attention at all.

balderdash9,

Lemmy is an echo chamber too. Pro-Linux, anti-Google, pro-Socialism, anti-conservative. Iā€™m still here because I happen to agree with the echo chamber, but letā€™s not pretend that a diversity of ideas are allowed equal say on this platform.

0ddysseus,

A lot of ideas donā€™t deserve a platform or airtime and people need to realize that. The world is getting more fucked every day because people think that conservatives, fundamentalists, corporations and their bootlickers, and all the other fascist scum have a right to spew their shitty ideas for everyone to hear. Those ideas are sorthless though and they need to be silenced.

balderdash9,

There are ideas that donā€™t deserve a platform (like literal Nazis) and then there are ideas that are not allowed on here because disagreement itself unacceptable. To give a non-politial example, imagine someone who made a post explaining why they like Windows better than Linux. Thatā€™s one out of many opinions that are simply not allowed on here.

madcaesar,

I donā€™t know man, I like Linux but use windows because itā€™s easier to use with less hoops to jump through and Iā€™ve said so on here without much backlash.

But windows / linux seems more like a meme on here than people actually fighting over it. Like I myself will sometimes make a PC MASTER RACE joke, but donā€™t actually give a shit what people game on.

But, back to your original point, Iā€™d genuinely like more examples of things you think you are not allowed to say on here. I donā€™t like echo chambers so I think if there are valid points they deserve discussion.

balderdash9,

Itā€™s hard to give examples because any example that I give could be explained away by alternate explanations. But as someone who posts a lot on here, it does feel like going against the dominant narrative, even jokingly will get you down voted. Like, for example, if I said that I believed in a smaller government, it doesnā€™t really matter what reasoning I have behind it because thatā€™s a conservative POV.

Personally Iā€™m a Democrat and I also try not to let down votes stop me from expressing my own opinions. But there are certain viewpoints (that are not bigoted) that are extremely unpopular here.

I donā€™t think giving a list of examples will convince you otherwise; in my experience people are more likely to just argue about the examples in order to resist the point.

madcaesar,

Alright man, no worries. Happy new year.

blaine, (edited )

I asked a question the other day that gave the appearance that I might sympathise with a conservative viewpoint, and it was the most downvoted post of my entire life within 30 minutes. Let me reiterate - I was downvoted en masse for asking a good faith question and not accepting the Democratic narrative as a given. Folks instantly assumed I must be asking the question with an (conservative) answer already in mind, and dogpiled me for it.

Ironically enough, there was one good faith reply that answered my question and resulted in me ultimately agreeing with the Lemmy-approved viewpoint. But I almost didnā€™t get that answer due to the amount of bad-faith responses and downvotes I was swamped with.

madcaesar,

Got a link? Iā€™d love to see the thread. People online always assume the worst motives usually, unfortunately.

SuckMyWang, (edited )

They donā€™t need to be silenced but they donā€™t deserve an outrage powered megaphone to spread as much outrage for clicks as possible

AstralPath,

I donā€™t necessarily disagree with you but anyone is free to spin up their own instance for Google worship or conservative discourse. Thereā€™s nothing standing in the way of that. I think your statement should be applied only to specific instances and not Lemmy/the Fediverse as a whole.

ohlaph,

Iā€™m reporting you for having an opinion.

Faydaikin,
@Faydaikin@beehaw.org avatar

Soā€¦ like everywhere else on the internet?

AnonStoleMyPants, in Crackhead advent calendar

A Amazon? I am way more triggered about that than I should.

turbowafflz,

I really hope one of the letters is missing for some reason and itā€™s supposed to say at.

Sallp, (edited )
@Sallp@lemmy.world avatar

It should be, an Amazon pick up, at least.

Catsrules,
poppy,

So itā€™s supposed to be ā€œOrder AT Amazonā€ so I wonder if it was edited photo or maybe some lockers got damaged and replaced.

LazaroFilm, in Crackhead advent calendar
@LazaroFilm@lemmy.world avatar

The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

sbv, in Crackhead advent calendar

one amazon please

Roderik, in Dating
@Roderik@lemmy.world avatar

Canā€™t really relate, because I am only 24yo. Rant incoming;

Though I am sort of reluctant to try dating. In the past, I tried dating apps but they yielded no results. The women I matched with all ghosted me. Really did a number on my self-esteem. Who knows? Maybe Iā€™ve got the face for radio?

And in all honesty, it feels like Iā€™ve got to abide by ridiculous standards. The likes of being buff and tall, owning a car and house, a 6-figure salary, etc. I am still studying and trying to get my bachelor degree. All of these requirements put a ton of pressure on me. Is every woman looking for that? Of course notā€”thatā€™s not what I am implying. But from my personal experience itā€™s certainly starting to feel that way.

Not surprised why redpill content is booming. Theyā€™re not right, but there is truth to be found in some of their statements. In the end, I do introspection to identify my flaws and improve on myself. Nevertheless, even by doing all of that it feels like itā€™s never enough.

MareOfNights,

Well, right about online stuff. I would also have ridiculous standards if there were 10x more women than men. Just expand your social circle and eventually youā€™ll meet normal people XD

TheAnonymouseJoker, (edited )
@TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml avatar

I am older. You want to hear me? Stop giving a shit about them altogether. What I mean by this is love yourself and focus on yourself. Women love psychological manipulation and think they are the hot shit, until they start going ā€œgood guyā€-less by their 30s and the ā€œbeautyā€ starts to subside. Too much high school teen garbage, and most have not mentally grown out of it.

I will just enlighten you with the Tears Of Rain scene from Blade Runner. It changed my perspective on life. Men do not shine as bright, but men shine for all their lives, and this is all that western feminist man-hating ideology is formulated around to counter.

Oh, and you need no redpill or any pill to understand this. Just avoid the ā€œbluepillā€ or garbage aimed to diss on men and masculinity. True masculinity (said by certain kind of people to be toxic) is about resilience, emotional control, inner strength, confidence and the ability to withstand lifeā€™s hardships without resorting to insecurity (dissing manhood) or abusive behaviours (psychological manipulation). The whole societal game is played in heads and with physical seduction techniques.

You will do better by watching Robert Greeneā€™s relevant podcast talks and Dr. Hubermanā€™s talk on the Science of Love, Desire and Attraction. Some masterclass style long podcasts of Matthew Hussey are also great, since he does cater to women for dating scene.

poke,

Oh hey itā€™s that redpill content they were warning me about!

TheAnonymouseJoker, (edited )
@TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml avatar

I love when the argument is to always shittalk, diss or just ā€œredpillā€ label everything, even though real world tells us social media delusions are meaningless.

I will be honest. I am starting to think leftists arenā€™t the true opposite of rightwing lunatics, and there is also a lack of reasoning and selective empathy on the polar side. Or maybe its that there are too many leftists I keep encountering that love their trash talking, labelling and cancelling business.

http://instagramprocessing.s3-us-east-2.amazonaws.com/5a/0d1e0b362f4389a83d431b8d8fe073/.eJwVjFsOgyAUBfdyvonGhlrCIroFQuBW8IEWrjHGuPfS-T1z5oIL5CYz0QndvVTfPaWAWxNTYsPnRtB4QyCmwjY5MtFDS6kqvRL4RJq9SXb5e5m-OxWu9nTYPBToC3ue6xKYt6LbNjaZvG8it-ND9iPZqPiQXbOlob4W4rDWPAZi3PcPYqcyiw-1jVmNJ-FK60oWl8rtxFw-ckchtEmSQBmRg.png

FlorianSimon, (edited )

Your theories are dehumanizing women. Women are not a consistent whole. When I hear you talk, it feels like watching a documentary about Siberian wolves at 4 AM on TV.

Iā€™m not going to attempt to cancel you or anything quite like thatā€¦ but youā€™re full of shit. Real women are NOTHING like you describe. Stop pursuing shallow Instagram ā€œinfluencersā€ and you might find peace. The Internet (and Tinder) is not the real world.

And by being so whiny and paranoid, youā€™re being the opposite of the good masculine type youā€™re preaching about.

TheAnonymouseJoker,
@TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml avatar

What are ā€œrealā€ women? The feminist movement on social media? Younger generation or the older generations of women? If you think that is dehumanising women, just know how much men have been dehumanised for ever, by a complete disregard for their emotional sanctity, which is as sacred as a womanā€™s physical sanctity, which we care so much about.

I am tired of hearing how women have been oppressed, and people acting like all men are royal/elite capitalist oppressors, and men have faced nothing, when the reality is that men have built this world and women have built the world within houses.

All I have seen is double standards whenever menā€™s issues need to be talked about versus womenā€™s issues. Mental health issues, women pedophiles/predators versus men pedophiles/predators, or male SA versus female SA, military recruitments, physical risk jobs like ones at construction sites, women publicly allowed to get away with sexual harassment or roadside flirting, or men being called creeps for being nice to children but women are ā€œinclusiveā€ and never creepy, et al. And any debate is intentionally and dishonestly avoided by women and feminists on these things by clustering menā€™s rights with redpill manosphere movement.

We are getting tired of hearing we are toxic, disposable and physical tools for others. And I must tell you this ā€“ the devolving and rotting feminist movement is exactly what is causing the explosion of the other extreme end, redpillers. A lot of people are starting to disapprove of these extremes.

Men are not ā€œtoxicā€ because they are not as emotionally charged or like vulnerability. Men are simply hardwired to be more resilient, calm, less hysterical, and protect their emotional sanctity the exact way women protect their physical sanctity.

Inclusivity by excluding men is not an inclusive initiative for society, it is just a lighter version of gender based fascism.

TheFriar,

All I have seen is double standards whenever menā€™s issues need to be talked about versus womenā€™s issues. Mental health issues, women pedophiles/predators versus men pedophiles/predators, or male SA versus female SA, military recruitments, physical risk jobs like ones at construction sites, women publicly allowed to get away with sexual harassment or roadside flirting, or men being called creeps for being nice to children but women are ā€œinclusiveā€ and never creepy, et al.

Wait, I thought you said men built this world. Now you have a problem with the way the world runs? Sounds like some pinko leftist feminist hooey.

TheFriar,

All I have seen is double standards whenever menā€™s issues need to be talked about versus womenā€™s issues. Mental health issues, women pedophiles/predators versus men pedophiles/predators, or male SA versus female SA, military recruitments, physical risk jobs like ones at construction sites, women publicly allowed to get away with sexual harassment or roadside flirting, or men being called creeps for being nice to children but women are ā€œinclusiveā€ and never creepy, et al.

I thought you said men built this world. Now you have a problem with the way the world runs? Sounds like some pinko leftist feminist hooey.

petrol_sniff_king,

Oh my god.

You realize this diagram implies that refuting the central point is built on name-calling and ad-hominems, right? xD

bouh,

The problem with dating apps is about the app themselves mostly. They promote shitty behaviours.

When youā€™re ghosted, it Ƨan be from 3 reasons: youā€™re actually ghosted ; the person is no more on the app ; the person didnā€™t really looked at your profile, or it has too many matches.

It is very hard on self esteem and on your appreciation of the other sex.

chic_luke,

Dating apps are crap. You literally have a higher success rate walking up to a random person at a bar than with a first message on Tinder. They could be a good tool, but we live in capitalism so they are made to extract as much profit as possible, even if that means promoting toxic, mental-health-crushing behaviours.

indepndnt,

Man, I can relate, I was in a bad way when I was 24. I was very lonely and dangerously far down the incel path (though nobody called it that then) before I snapped out of it.

What I wish I had understood then is just how vast the bredth of human experience is. It may be hard to imagine right now given experiences youā€™ve had, but there are a lot of women who would be into you if given the chance. I know this is true because women are people. Quite a few of them are into men, of those quite a few are available and also yearning for a connection, and of those quite a few still are into some of your interests and particularly like various traits that describe you.

Rejection can be hard, but it only means itā€™s not just right just now for just her, not that thereā€™s anything wrong with you.

GeoGio7,

Itā€™s important to understand that being on dating apps is not the same as dating in real life. We often see people in more superficial ways on apps and judge them in a way we wouldnā€™t necessarily do in real life.

Women looking at men that way in dating apps is definitely a reflection on how they do in real life but itā€™s amplified quite a bit.

Men are the same. How many times have you swiped left on a girl just because you didnā€™t think she was attractive? She seemed really cool and like someone youā€™d get along with but she just wasnā€™t attractive.

This again is a reflection on how men view women in real life but amplified. In real life you wouldnā€™t be that harsh.

Itā€™s important to stay grounded and remember that everyone is just a stupid human who thinks they know what they want and may put high expectations on someone but often doesnā€™t take a moment to think ā€˜Am I all that though?ā€™

Roderik,
@Roderik@lemmy.world avatar

How many times have you swiped left on a girl just because you didnā€™t think she was attractive?

Zero times. Always swiped right to increase my chance of getting matches. Didnā€™t use some hookup app the likes of Tinder either. Used OkCupid since I heard good stories of it at the time.

I am well aware I may be an outlier. I know other men certainly do swipe left.

Though I agree with your points. After all, weā€™re all thinking like troglodytes at times. We set unrealistic expectations. Think social media skewed our views of whatā€™s realistic and what is not.

zoostation,

There are so many benign reasons you can reject someone.

Maybe you just deleted the app because youā€™re done with trying for now.

Maybe you like someone but move on because things just got serious someone else you found first.

Maybe you like someone but thereā€™s some dealbreaker like distance or having kids or something else random they have a bias about.

Maybe you reject someone without thinking thereā€™s anything wrong with them, you just donā€™t feel compatible.

And yeah some people will reject you because youā€™re not rich or your looks arenā€™t perfect, that happens too, but only a small percentage of people are rich or look perfect, you just have to make peace with not being that. Just about everyone else is in the same boat.

Donā€™t let incel types cause you to shape your impression of why youā€™re being rejected and turn it into a reason to hate a whole gender. Some of them have shitty standards, sure, but donā€™t turn it into a rule about them. That leads to a downward spiral.

Roderik,
@Roderik@lemmy.world avatar

Donā€™t let incel types cause you to shape your impression of why youā€™re being rejected and turn it into a reason to hate a whole gender. Some of them have shitty standards, sure, but donā€™t turn it into a rule about them. That leads to a downward spiral.

Absolutely, I agree. What I was trying to convey is that to me it never feels like I am enough. I know rejection is part of the game. However, it does hit hardā€”it affects my self-esteem. That is my problem and I need to work on that.

Still, I think you can agree there is a lot of competition going on. Itā€™s axiomatic that there are more men on dating apps than women. That leaves me at a disadvantage. To make matters worse, these apps are designed to judge someone based on looks. I am pretty fit, though nowhere near extremely strong. Just plain average.

I donā€™t blame women for choosing the top percent of men on these apps (if the roles were reversed I wouldā€™ve likely done the same). Yet for someone the likes of me the only winning move is not to play.

Also, I am no misogynist. I donā€™t abhor women for being rejected. They donā€™t owe me anything. That is not to say that I donā€™t find the process of finding a love companion difficult.

Wish you a wonderful Happy New Year bud!

nickwitha_k,

Absolutely, I agree. What I was trying to convey is that to me it never feels like I am enough.

I hear you. I absolutely hated most of my twenties and teen years due to loneliness. But, itā€™s important to remember that online dating platforms are pure garbage. They are run by business people with business goals, not to actually help people connect and find lasting relationships - that loses them customers. Not to mention the vapid, shallow culture that has been cultivate, by those running them. The number of bots and plain awful people that you are lucky to avoid is ridiculously high because many are little more than scams to extract money from lonely guys.

I know rejection is part of the game.

Thatā€™s part of the beauty of being a human that these companies desperately try to hide. We have the choice to not play the bullshit games. It makes life much nicer.

However, it does hit hardā€”it affects my self-esteem. That is my problem and I need to work on that.

I know this experily. You are a worthwhile human being, and deserve love and happiness. Sure, Iā€™m just some random dude on the internet and you have no reason to believe anything that I type or the sincerity on my words but, itā€™s true.

So much of what is pushed in modern culture is done so just for the sake of making people miserable so that they buy more bullshit. Rom-coms are the fucking worst (though I do still enjoy them occassionally). Everything in them surrounding masculinity and courtship is pure dysfunctional, toxic drek.

Want a functional, loving relationship that will last? Find someone who is compatible and has shared interests. If you are not driven by competition and conquest, donā€™t ā€œchaseā€ someone who doesnā€™t show interest - itā€™s a waste of your time and will probably make them uncomfortable. If you are, get your peacocking and fashion game on-point.There is no one way of finding a good partner except for being your best you and ignoring 99% of pop culture romance.

Hone yourself into the version of you that you most want to be and the people who appreciate that find your traits, interests, and personality attractive will likely come into your life as a natural consequence of your actions.

All the best for a very happy New Year. Keep rocking and being your badass self.

Roderik,
@Roderik@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you for the lovely words. Really appreciate it! Sympathehic people like you are the true heroes without capes.

Everything you said resonated with me. This world is messed up, though we ought to be careful to let it define us. After all, we dictate our lives. Iā€™ll continue my quest of finding a lasting, functional, loving relationship.

Wish you a splendid New Year!

nickwitha_k,

Iā€™m glad that I could be of help. One recommendation that I would have is to reframe that from a quest into something more of a journey. Yes, it is what you desire but, from personal experience, treating it as a central goal in life can make it easy to miss the forest for the trees, risk staying in poor matches, and may make it more of a challenge to find a compatible partner.

For the first to, you may overlook or be overlooked by potential matches due to focusing on the idealized goal. This also means potentially getting caught in a poor or potentially abusive relationship for lack of seeing that things could be better. Additionally, successful relationships take interpersonal skills and self-knowledge that are hard to develop without experience - think of the proverb of two potters, one spending a year, making the best pot that they can, the other spending a month on each pot. The second potter will likely end up more skilled and making a better pot due to the learnings of multiple failures over the year. Itā€™s similar with any skill in reality; trying and failing with relationships is a good thing because it gives you more data to work with.

Finally, try to think about what things may be like from the perspective of a potential partner. Would you want to be with someone whose life goals were ā€œbe in a relationshipā€ or someone who wants to invent something, or see places seldom seen by others, or contribute to the understanding of the natural universe, or play music and make friends in the local community, or help neglected animals, or have a blast painting tiny monster figurines. Trying to be the you that you want to be and is in line with your interests and ideals will make you more interesting to others, including potential relationship partners.

Itā€™s easy for nerdy guys to get caught up in things and fall into traps of despair and loneliness - I know from experience, which is why I try to lend support and advice to others. But, being nerdy is also a bit of an advantage, despite pop culture overtures to the contrary. Being interested in unusual thing can make you interesting.

zoostation,

Yeah, it is rough, but keep in mind dating is hard for most people so itā€™s less of a you problem than your brain want to make it feel like.

And donā€™t think of it as being a ā€œtopā€ person or not. Itā€™s healthier and more accurate to think of it as compatibility. Thereā€™s not a linear scale of people. When someoneā€™s interested in you (for the right reason) itā€™s because you work together as people, not because youā€™re the best person they can get and vice versa.

Youā€™re not misogynistic, but watch out for the people who try to portray dating as more adversarial than it is so they can profit from amplifying our insecurities.

ininewcrow, in It happens
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Money bags here with clothes on and carpeting

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