programmer_humor

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Donkter, in It's that time of the year again!

The beginning maps perfectly to “The Distance” by Cake and I was singing along to that tune as I read.

docAvid,

Cut to Mrs Claus baking a spice cake:

She’s all alone, all alone, in her time of spice

GBU_28, in It's that time of the year again!

No closing semicolon, anyone got any extras to throw on this thing?

Moops, (edited )

At the very least I’d try to clean up that fuzzy condition on behavior to anticipate any bad or inconsistent data entry.

WHERE UPPER(TRIM(behavior)) = ‘NICE’

Depending on the possible values in behavior, adding a wildcard or two might be useful but would need to know more about that field to be certain. Personally I’d rather see if there was a methodology using code values or existing indicators instead of a string, but that’s often just wishful thinking.

Edit: Also, why dafuq we doing a select all? What is this, intro to compsci? List out the values you need, ya heathen ;)

(This is my favorite Xmas meme lol)

mp04610,

behavior is an ENUM.

moroni,
@moroni@lemmy.ca avatar

That’s a table scan, right there. Naughty.

epyon22,

; found this in the back for you should still work though

db2,

Can confirm.

krotti,

Honest question, which ones wouldn’t it work with? Most add a semicolon to the end automatically or have libraries and interfaces saved me a million times?

jaybone,

Usually with libraries like jdbc or whatever and prepared statements you don’t need the semicolon.

GBU_28,

Other reply s accurate but it’s always a good practice to include the semicolon else you can get

“Bobby tables’ed” look that xkcd comic up

docAvid,

I’m not sure how including a final semicolon can protect against an injection attack. In fact, the “Bobby Tables” attack specifically adds in a semicolon, to be able to start a new command. If inputs are sanitized, or much better, passed as parameters rather than string concatenated, you should be fine - nothing can be injected, regardless of the semicolon. If you concatenate untrusted strings straight into your query, an injection can be crafted to take advantage, with or without a semicolon.

GBU_28, (edited )

Yep it would only work if you didn’t sanitize a user input string in this case ‘nice’

They could write ‘’; drop table blah;

krotti,

Wouldn’t that still apply, if you can inject straight SQL, such as “query’ OR 1=1?”

pruwybn, (edited )
@pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

Need to normalize the database. I would add a join to a BehaviorTypes table.

Edit: or, if the only options are naughty or nice, make it a boolean.

takeda,

You need semicolons if it is a script with multiple commands to separate them. It is not needed for a single statement, like you would use in most language libraries.

mellejwz,

If you don’t use a semicolon directly in MySQL it won’t do anything until you add it.

takeda,

In the MySQL client console where you can run multiple commands.

If you add semicolon in language library commands such as fetch() you will get an error.

fmstrat,

Can we get a SIMILARITY?

xantoxis, in Programmer tries to explain binary search to the police

This argument did not go well

You can’t convince people to do their job with logic when they just don’t want to do their job. After minorities, the thing cops hate most is doing their job.

CosmicCleric,
@CosmicCleric@lemmy.world avatar

when they just don’t want to do their job.

It might also be a matter of getting a directive from their management not the care, because there’s not enough cops to go around for the ‘important’ stuff.

They don’t want to waste their limited time for simple property theft, which is ironic considering that’s what police are supposed to be doing (stopping theft).

The answer would be then to hire more police, but unfortunately that would mean higher taxes for the citizenry, and that seems to be a hard glass ceiling.

HawlSera,

No, the police just don’t want to do any work. In my hometown you can’t get the police to do shit unless you are a black man who “fits the description” or “smells like weee” then they will gladly try to make your death look as much your fault as possible.

trolololol,

Wrong

The police exists to protect the status quo. Try overthrowing any immoral law or legally but immoral behavior and you’ll see how efficiently they move about.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

Before handing out life advice maybe try it IRL and see how it goes. It’s kinda fun.

trolololol,

I tried being born rich but it didn’t work this time around. Maybe next re incarnation?

DroneRights,

More police wouldn’t cost more money if they stopped buying tanks.

HawlSera,

Come on, don’t disparage our hard-working Boys in blue. Without police who’s going to come to your house to take notes about the crime that you have sufficient evidence to prove, and even have a likely suspect for, and then never follow up?

SPRUNT,

WRONG! After minorities, it’s poor people. Then doing their job. :P

buzz, (edited )
@buzz@lemmy.world avatar

Nah, they just dont care about some stupid bicycle.

Also - why dont this guy just give them the exact footage? He doesnt want to?

merc,

I assume he doesn’t have access to it. He just knows there’s a camera pointing at the place where his bike was stolen, and that the police have access to the footage.

Micromot,

They might not know when in the footage it happened

DoucheBagMcSwag, in :q! to quit the Force

This is how I played guitar hero III on PC but upside down. I wasn’t allowed to play it back at my house so I pirated it and improvised

turbodrooler,

“No son of mine is going to play a fake guitar!” - Your dad, Robert Fripp or somebody

DoucheBagMcSwag,

No it was more of rock music being the devil or something like that. N

BolexForSoup, (edited ) in It's that time of the year again!
@BolexForSoup@kbin.social avatar

He sees you when you’re bashing

He’s hacked your VPN

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

He knows you’re not in the sudoers file

So he’ll report your ass again

Masimatutu,
@Masimatutu@mander.xyz avatar
jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’ll be damned if that’s not the most relevant xkcd that I’ve ever seen.

purelynonfunctional, (edited ) in what's the difference?

It’s not, though. Git is a means of distributing content, not the content itself. The thing analogous to PornHub’s porn on GitHub is the source code in the repos hosted there, not Git itself.

CanadaPlus, (edited )

If only there was a website called “StreamHub” or something.

Honestly the content vs. characteristic method of delivery distinction is subtle enough this is still a great way of explaining.

purelynonfunctional, (edited )

Depends on to whom. If you’re explaining to your grandma, a small child, a co-worker, or a student under your tutelage, you probably don’t want an explanation that relies on reference to a porn site.

And if you’re explaining to a novice developer or to an IT person who sometimes might have to work with Git, they deserve an explanation that leaves them with a basic understanding (or at least the names) of the kinds of things Git and GitHub are (VCSes and SCM forges, respectively), not just an inkling that GitHub is not unique in being ‘a place to host (some?) Git, whatever that is’.

So… if you don’t mind that it suggests ‘GitHub is for uploading Git(s)’, that line is an okay way to teach ‘the difference between Git and GitHub’ to non-technical, non-elderly adults who don’t really need to know what Git is (and don’t work with you or study under you).

That’s an explanation of pretty damn narrow usefulness, to put it generously.

It is pithy and memorable, though.

CanadaPlus,

How often does grandpa ask you what GitHub is?

emptiestplace,

You’re right, we probably should’ve noticed sooner.

spiderplant,

I agree that porn is a nsfw way to explain something in a lot of scenarios but I disagree about people needing to know at least the names of a technology from an explanation.

Most people don’t need to know or care about the names to understand or use them. Knowing the names after I learnt the commands did not give me greater insight into how the tool works.

If they are just being introduced to git and github then they are likely new to programming and have much more important things to care about like learning their first programming language or understanding how their teams project actually works.

A place to host gits is a perfectly good explanation for anyone who is new to it.

merc,

Git is a DVCS. GitHub is a place where DVCS repositories are hosted. There are many other places where DVCS repositories can be hosted, but GitHub is the most famous one… Porn is a type of content. PornHub is a place where porn is hosted. There are many other places where porn can be hosted, but PornHub is the most famous one. It’s a pretty good analogy.

docAvid,

But it’s a categorical error. The analogy is about “git”, not “git repositories” or “DVCS repositories”.

merc,

k

dan,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

There are many other places where DVCS repositories can be hosted

I mean… Everyone that’s cloned the repo has a full copy of it. You could clone it directly off someone else if you wanted to.

merc,

Sure… and you could pass around porn on thumb drives. But, having a central website where you can browse public repos and clone the interesting ones is a pretty key part of Open Source / Free Software development.

dan,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

How many people use Github for discovery though? I usually find interesting projects through a search engine, through word of mouth, through posts on here, etc. at which point it doesn’t really matter where the repo is hosted. A lot of the useful projects I use aren’t even on Github.

As far as I know, Gitea is current working on federation support, which will be great. It’d be like Lemmy where you can browse repos, submit issues, etc from one instance even if the repo is hosted at a different one. Git was really designed for a model like that, not for a centralized one.

spiderplant,

How many people use Pornhub for discovery though? I usually find interesting content through a search engine, through word of mouth, through posts on here, etc. at which point it doesn’t really matter where the porn is hosted. A lot of the useful content I use aren’t even on Pornhub.

Seriously though, I agree with you, githubs value to open source is not it’s discover-ability. Personally I think its value comes from the stability, as much as I’m an advocate for self-hosting I know from the amount of dead links on the internet that we could have lost a lot of projects or at least they would move about as hosts went down.

I quite like the idea of federated gitea, although technically there is already a federated platform for porn if you count Lemmy and/or mastadon.

agent_flounder, (edited ) in what's the difference?
@agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

That…isn’t quite right.

Git is a distributed version control system for software development^1.

Version control allows you to manage code versions and changes to code. You take snapshots, so to speak, of every change you make.

Distributed, in this context, means multiple developers can write code on each of their development computers and merge the changes, usually to a centralized git server.

GitHub runs a web-based git server at GitHub.com so teams can store their code in a central location on the internet.

  1. Ok, technically, even though It’s often used for software source code, it can be used for any set of files and directories.
kernelle,

If you read it as “a website providing a service, but that service is also available elsewhere” the analogy makes perfect sense.

kevincox, (edited )
@kevincox@lemmy.ml avatar

I don’t see anything you said that it isn’t quite right.

Porn is a distributed form of entertainment.

Porn allows you to get your rocks off. You take views, so to speak and do your thing.

Distributed, in this context, means multiple enjoyers can watch porn on each of their entertainment computers and share the videos, usually to a centralized porn server.

PornHub runs a web-based porn server at pornhub.com so viewers can store their porn in a central location on the internet.

agent_flounder,
@agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

So in the analogy porn corresponds to git? Or to source code?

spiderplant,

In this analogy it could be that:

  • the filesystem is git and the porn is source code
  • the file is git and the data is source code
  • you don’t consider the source code because you can host anything on github
  • we shouldn’t be reading into the analogy this deeply because its a silly analogy meant for absolute beginners
Rodeo,

Ok, now explain the part you think is not right.

agent_flounder,
@agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

Git is a tool. GitHub is one implementation of a git server. Git is used to manage source code. GitHub hosts / manages source code.

Porn is content. Pornhub is one service that hosts content. Porn is not a tool. Git isn’t content. Source code is content.

So porn isn’t really analogous to git.

Maybe a better analogy would be… Git is to GitHub as outlook mail client is to outlook server–or Gmail app to Gmail server.

Rootiest, (edited )
@Rootiest@lemmy.world avatar

GitHub runs a web-based git server at GitHub.org so teams can store their code in a central location on the internet.

Wait… it’s GitHub.org?

I always assumed it was GitHub.com…

Edit: GitHub.org only seems to support HTTP and then it just does a permanent redirect to GitHub.com

agent_flounder,
@agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

Ugh I’m an idiot. Thanks.

Rootiest,
@Rootiest@lemmy.world avatar

All good 😊 you had me going for a minute though

Truck_kun, in It's that time of the year again!

That SELECT and WHERE are all caps, but from is not is bugging me.

I don’t care if you choose to uppercase keywords or lowercase, but consistency please.

Also, great, love it.

cupcakezealot,
@cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

it also implies that naughty or nice is an either or thing and not a weighted thing from an incidents table. the good place lied to us.

ursakhiin,

It could be a materialized view that is generated off of a weighting where you are nice until you have a certain number of incidents.

Akrenion, in It's that time of the year again!

Can anyone recommend a cheap receipt printer that takes pictures from a pc or phone? I want to print mtg tokens on the fly.

meliaesc,

Pencil

halcyondays,

deleted_by_author

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  • jasondj,

    Weird that we never consider that for retail workers though…

    jasondj,

    Gameboy Pocket. Gameboy Camera. Gameboy Printer.

    Both the perfect balance of “nostalgia” and “ridiculous”.

    aspitzer, in It's that time of the year again!

    wait until it hits little bobby tables…

    xkcd.com/327/

    JohnDClay,
    jaybone,

    He drops when you are sleeping. He drops when you’re awake.

    rufus,

    Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

    So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum, When we come.

    Little Bobby, pa rum pum pum pum I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum That’s fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

    Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum, On my unsanitized database inputs?

    valen, in Multifactor auth done right
    @valen@beehaw.org avatar

    Something you only know in a parallel dimension.

    Aceticon, in Need a rust version too.

    You use Assembly.

    You describe each and every leg movement and each and every step to the castle and over the castle bridge and inside the castle.

    You somehow end up in the castle kitchen.

    sunbeam60, (edited )

    Or more precisely. You end up in a dark room. You’re not sure it’s in the castle.

    nilloc,

    And the only way back is by counting every step you took on the way in, and if you miss one, the castle buries you.

    mindbleach,

    But if you’re right, you have the princess and return home before the guards are done drawing their swords.

    spudwart, in what's the difference?
    @spudwart@spudwart.com avatar

    Grub and GrubHub

    nxdefiant, (edited )

    Using food as the analogy:

    Food…Code

    Kitchen…Dev Environment (IDE, PC, etc)

    Serving…Deploying

    ok good so far

    When I’m done with code I’m not going to deploy yet I commit and store it on a branch in git.

    When I’m done making food that I’m not going to serve yet, I store it in a fridge or pantry.

    When I need external code, I grab it from GitHub. When I need ingredients, I grab them from the grocery store.

    So I think Food Storage, is the closest analog to git. I have local storage (pantry, fridge) that I can use to store food I have acquired.

    Which would mean the grocery store is the closest analogy, but not a restaurant. Or maybe a grocery store with a restaurant.

    Nugelz, in Need a rust version too.

    Why’s this look so poo on my phone?

    MaliciousKebab,

    Might be the client. I use eternity and it looks OK on my phone.

    chandz05,

    Also good in Boost on my phone

    EatYouWell,

    Seconded

    Octopus1348,
    @Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

    Also good on Voyager.

    doeknius_gloek,

    Also good with Boost once I opened the image and clicked “HD”.

    Nugelz,

    Thank you that fixed it!

    Unforeseen,

    Also good in Connect on my phone

    30p87,

    Not the best quality, but still easily enjoyable on Eternity Nightly

    tja,
    @tja@sh.itjust.works avatar

    Also good in sync on my phone

    Octopus1348,
    @Octopus1348@lemy.lol avatar

    Sync manages these long vertical images the best.

    Honytawk,

    Your app is written in LISP

    r00ty, in Need a rust version too.
    @r00ty@kbin.life avatar

    C# is about right. LINQ was meant to make things easier, or at least the code easier to read. Instead, you gain this addiction to seeing how much functional logic you can fit into one line of code (or a single multi-line query) while still remaining readable.

    Curdie,

    I feel personally attacked.

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