programmer_humor

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IrateAnteater, in You can have anything you wan...

Why limit yourself like that? Just say “All languages”. Depending on how liberally you interpret the word “language”, you know know just about everything.

fl42v,

Fuck programming then, I’ll go read ancient Egyptian or some not-yet-deciphered crap. On the other hand, I bet it’s not that different from APL

APLSC_matrix-3547335466

drcobaltjedi,

My old man told me he took one programming language in college and it was APL. Having looked at APL since becoming a software dev myself, I can understand why he hated it.

It’s just so gross and hard to read

funkless_eck,

On the other hand, which do you prefer, this:


<span style="color:#323232;"> life ← {⊃1 ⍵ ∨.∧ 3 4 = +/ +⌿ ¯1 0 1 ∘.⊖ ¯1 0 1 ⌽¨ ⊂⍵}
</span>

or this:


<span style="color:#323232;"> MODE UNIVERSE = [upb OF class universe, upb OF class universe]BOOL; STRUCT( INT upb, BOOL lifeless, alive, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID init, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)STRING repr, PROC(REF UNIVERSE, INT, INT)VOID insert glider, PROC(REF UNIVERSE)VOID next ) class universe = ( # upb = # 50, # lifeless = # FALSE, # alive = # TRUE, # PROC init = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID: FOR row index FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO init row(self[row index, ]) OD, # PROC repr = # (REF UNIVERSE self)STRING:( FORMAT cell = $b("[]", " ")$, horizon = $"+"n(UPB self)("--")"+"l$; FILE outf; STRING out; associate(outf, out); putf(outf, (horizon, $"|"n(UPB self)(f(cell))"|"l$, self, horizon)); close(outf); out ), # PROC insert glider = # (REF UNIVERSE self, INT row, col)VOID:( self[row-2, col+1]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row-1, col+2]&nbsp;:= TRUE; self[row, col:col+2]&nbsp;:= (TRUE, TRUE, TRUE ) ), # PROC next = # (REF UNIVERSE self)VOID:( [0:2, LWB self-1:UPB self+1]BOOL window;  # init row(window[LWB window, ]); window[LWB self, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[LWB self, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 LWB window]&nbsp;:= window[UPB window, 2 UPB window]&nbsp;:= lifeless OF class universe;  window[LWB self, LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[LWB self, ]; FOR row FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO REF []BOOL next row = window[(row+1) MOD 3, ]; IF row NE UPB self THEN next row[LWB self:UPB self]&nbsp;:= self[row+1, ] ELSE init row(next row) FI; FOR col FROM LWB self TO UPB self DO INT live&nbsp;:= 0;  FOR row FROM row-1 TO row+1 DO REF[]BOOL window row = window[row MOD 3, ]; FOR col FROM col-1 TO col+1 DO IF window row[col] THEN live +:= 1 FI OD OD; self[row, col]&nbsp;:= IF window[row MOD 3, col] THEN live -:=  live = 3 FI OD OD ) );
</span>
fl42v,

Honesty, neither 🤣

dojan,
@dojan@lemmy.world avatar

At that point just go for omniscience.

farsayl,

Too far. I don’t need to know all that.

nogooduser, in You can have anything you wan...

I like the scope creep there:

  1. Programming language (singular)
  2. All programming languages and related knowledge
  3. Add in AI, ML and data structures
coloredgrayscale,

Sounds like they are the product owner :)

HiddenLayer5, (edited ) in Always
@HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml avatar

Coding at night with the lights off makes you feel like one of the cool movie hackers.

Anticorp,

Especially if some digital imagery is projected onto your face.

oce,
@oce@jlai.lu avatar

Don’t forget the hoodie.

ripcord,

I guess yes, a hoodie could be projected on your face.

CowsLookLikeMaps,

quickly opens hackertyper.net any time mom walks by

Sheeple, in When you forget to set a boundary conditions in your logic
@Sheeple@lemmy.world avatar

It’s cryptocurrency. What did you expect. THAT garbage is bound to be poorly coded.

LufyCZ, (edited )

It’s an exchange, not a cryptocurrency.

Check your facts before you start the hate train.

Also, most cryptos have state of the art programming. They have to, because any little hole or vulnerability puts millions or billions of dollars at risk.

Sheeple, (edited )
@Sheeple@lemmy.world avatar

It’s an exchange for a cryptocurrency of the same name I did my homework

reev, (edited )

It’s an exchange where you can exchange a token of the same name (their token). The primary purpose is not for that token, it’s mainly known for being an exchange.

LufyCZ,

You’d get an F then mate.

The fact that they have a token is in no way relevant to the fact that we’re talking about an exchange here.

SpaceNoodle,

Ah yes, the most secure code possible: brand new, closed-source, and written by the lowest bidder.

reev,

If you’re talking about the exchanges, sure. If you’re talking about crypto, all of the major cryptos are open source.

LufyCZ, (edited )

There’s no lowest bidder here, how’d you even come up with that?

People employed in crypto are usually very well paid, because they have to be good at their jobs.

The absolute majority of cryptocurrencies is fully open source.

Seriously man, educate yourself before spitting nonsense.

Edit: I’d appreciate if anyone downvoting me provided their reasons for doing so, preferably with sources to back them up. I’m happy to provide examples to back my arguments up if requested.

MadhuGururajan,

Website: “915 days in a year”, you: “they are well paid and good at their job”. Anyone seeing your comment: 🤨

LufyCZ,

Anyone reading the thread would understand that I’m talking about crypto, not exchanges.

Well done though, peak comedy

000, (edited )

State of the art programming, all with the goal of scamming people.

Crypto programmers don’t “have” to do anything because they are working on an illegitimate, unregulated security.

LufyCZ,

Have you heard of Indian call centers? Let’s ban phones, let’s ban email, let’s ban gift cards, let’s ban bank accounts.

The fact that the technology is also being used to scam people doesn’t mean that the whole thing is bad. There are numerous use cases beyond illegal activity, and you focusing on a tiny fraction of the whole thing just shows that you don’t actually want to understand, but that hate is your only way of expressing, that you don’t understand it.

Here, read up. They’ve got studies and sources for their claims.

krotti,

Last time I checked all of those had real world value before the scams started.

For cryptos, it seems to be the other way around. They are trying to solve issues at the cost of having issues that are unacceptable and unfixable.

LufyCZ,

It may seem like it, but it sure isn’t like it. You’ll obviously hear about the bad and nothing about 5he good, unfortunately that’s how media works nowadays.

Do you want to elaborate on those issues that are unacceptable and unfixable? I’m not saying there aren’t any, but you’re describing a trade-off, and crypto isn’t the only thing in the world with trade-offs.

Fiat is a great example - conveniet, nice, until it starts hyperinflating, until people use it to fund wars, until the government confiscates it because you insulted a politician on Twitter.

krotti,

From scams to just cyber attacks with no safe guards would make everything impossible to handle. There is no bank covering you or insurance. People dying, losing keys etc drive deflation. BTC/Mining coins are destined to die. Maybe there is something there, but it certainly isn’t finance.

Inflation is necessary for multiple reasons, but you can read on that yourself. Such as; what would happen if everyone considered holding to money an investment? IMO these facts make Fiat sound so much better…

LufyCZ,

no safe guards

That’s the point.jpg

You’re free to hold your crypto on an exchange, you’re free to buy a hardware wallet and do your due diligence when confirming transactions, you’re free to create a multisig for your coins and tokens to introduce multiple factors for signing.

But it’s your choice.

people dying, losing keys

That’s on them, it’s like stuffing money into a mattress and not telling your family.

mining coins are destined to die

Mining’s not great for sure, but “destined to die” makes no sense.

Inflation is necessary so that people spend the thing

That’s kinda funny, because in the case of Ethereum, the deflation comes from people using and spending Eth on gas.

I’m also not saying that Ethereum is the perfect currency to replace fiat, the utility there comes from everything that’s built on top of it.

Widen your horizon, crypto isn’t just a medium for payments.

krotti,

That is the problem. 1 Fuck up and your money is gone. Whether that is someone else, you, CVE, it’s gone and everyone elses in that network.

By death I was wrong; Difficulty wont kill a coin. Though that then has other issues.

I doubt you understand how bad deflation is for a currency, or you are in this for the money?

LufyCZ,

Hardware wallets are safe, multisigs are safe. You can be safe if you put in the effort. If you don’t want to do it, that’s your call, doesn’t mean the system sucks.

Yeah difficulty is adjusted depending on how many “devices” (simply put) are mining, the target is a specific blocktime.

What’s gonna kill bitcoin is the ever decreasing issuance, but that’s not the problem of crypto nor mining for that matter, just bitcoin.

Have you skimmed over the point that I think that Ethereum (one of the few sustainably deflating cryptos) isn’t just a currency but also a base for other things that may also serve as a currency?

Also, it’s not bad for the currency itself, just for the economy around it. And again, I’m not saying Ethereum should replace the dollar.

000,

Scam call centers are illegal and get shut down often. Great example if you want to somehow convince people that crypto isn’t a scam.

LufyCZ,

So you’re saying that scamming through crypto isn’t illegal and that the people behind it don’t get caught?

You’re comparing apples and oranges, it doesn’t work like that.

Crypto is the “phone” or “email” from my example, it’s just a medium.

So yeah, good job showing you don’t understand how it works

000,

What’s your endgame here, you need us to buy shitcoins you lost money on or something?

LufyCZ,

Nice, well done, let’s attack me personally instead of having a conversation. That will get you far in life.

000,

You feel attacked because you lost money on crypto scams? That sucks.

LufyCZ,

I feel attacked because you attacked my integrity instead of trying to have a useful conversation.

That’s fine though, people are scared of things they don’t understand, that’s a well known fact.

Have fun falling behind

twix,

I dunno, been seeing quite a few posts from indieweb.social/ that do kind of give a bad impression…

LufyCZ,

Yeah, you hear about the things that go wrong and not about the ones that don’t.

I’m not saying everything is perfect, obviously it isn’t, but the people on here are talking about how incredibly shit it is without any redeeming qualities, which just simply isn’t true. It’s harder to prove a negative (that things aren’t bad), especially since nobody’s gonna write a “no protocol got hacked today, $x billion is safe” article.

twix,

My general problem with cryptocurrency is their environmental impact / resource usage compared to traditional payment systems.

LufyCZ,

It’s a problem that’s being solved. Bitcoin will probably suck in this regard forever, but Ethereum for example has migrated over to a much environmentally friendlier system.

Growing pains, but I think that we’re on a good path going forward.

dauerstaender, in Welcome to the wonderful world of code obfuscation

Why would you call it weekend and the start the week with half of it?!

DroneRights,

A rope has two ends, and so does a week

Fizz, in what the hell is happening in ultramarine linux
@Fizz@lemmy.nz avatar

Imagine the smell of that office

hikikoma, (edited )

MUTHKY

rtxn, in what the hell is happening in ultramarine linux

Right now I’m listening to Adeptus Ridiculous (W40k lore podcast) and the image of giant cat-eared Ultramarines won’t leave my fucking mind

Malix,
@Malix@sopuli.xyz avatar

Yes, Inquisitor, that user right there.

QaspR, (edited ) in “It’s not that hard”

Clearly this man has never read a book on type theory or compiler construction.

Vilian,

Clearly this man has never read a book

earmuff,

Clearly this man has never read

kibiz0r,

This man…

Dr_Fetus_Jackson,

Clearly this man has never

JudahBenHur,

this isn’t a joke. you haven’t made a joke.

SturgiesYrFase,
@SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml avatar

Clearly this man is fun at parties…/s

hemmes,
@hemmes@lemmy.world avatar

See I get what you were doing there, it was funny. But the downvotes thought you were putting down the thread jokes for real. You were basically pointing out that the best jokes are actual life.

MotoAsh,

Yea, they’re just spitting facts. Elon would have to be an actual man to ever.

qaz,

Who are you quoting?

Thorry84, in “It’s not that hard”

Yes the compiler/interpreter can figure it out on the fly, that’s what we mean by untyped languages. And as stated both have their merits and their faults.

Elon doesn’t know what the words mean and just chimes in with his AI future BS.

hemmes,
@hemmes@lemmy.world avatar

Even in untyped can’t you explicitly set your type either with declarations or wrapping the value in quotes for a string or something?

projectmoon,

Depends on the language. There is no explicit typing in JavaScript, for example. That’s why Typescript was invented.

EinfachUnersetzlich,

Not always.

hemmes,
@hemmes@lemmy.world avatar

Ah, that could be problematic

janAkali, (edited )

Yes the compiler/interpreter can figure it out on the fly, that’s what we mean by untyped languages.

Are there untyped languages? You probably meant ‘dynamically typed languages’.

But even statically typed languages can figure out most types for you from the context - it’s called ‘type inference’.

Blue_Morpho,

And as stated both have their merits and their faults.

Yes! Just because a compiler could guess the type doesn’t mean it should. Elon didn’t understand the meme at all.

conditional_soup, in “It’s not that hard”

Quick, somebody teach this man JavaScript.

hemmes, (edited )
@hemmes@lemmy.world avatar

Actually on second thought, let’s just give him a marble notebook and crayons and tell him that’s JavaScript.

Kata1yst,
@Kata1yst@kbin.social avatar

A notebook and crayons? I think you'd just get back stick figure-esque drawings of cybertrucks with notes like "bulletproof" and "anti-gas attack".

Just like the poor Tesla design team.

blackn1ght, in Always

This isn’t my experience. I’m way more focused in the morning and then it’s all downhill after lunch. By the time it’s the evening I have zero motivation to do any code.

dyc3,

Yeah that’s about how I feel too. Mostly because I take my ADHD meds in the morning, and afternoon is about where they wear off.

oce,
@oce@jlai.lu avatar

My best focus is before lunch and before the end of the day.

CodingCarpenter,

I’m the opposite I’m useless until after lunch

brokenlcd, in Always

I’m not sure why but i just flat out work better at night when everyone is asleep, pretty mutch all of the “last modified” time on my project files is from 10 pm to 3 am

idunnololz,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

My sweet spot is 1am to 4am no joke.

BiggestBulb,
@BiggestBulb@kbin.run avatar

Same here

xmunk,

I’ve been working remotely from Barcelona for three months… My hours are 3pm to 11pm local time, it’s fucking bliss.

xor,

no distractions…
one metaphor i heard is, holding a program in your head is like building a house of cards, every time a phone rings or something breaks your concentration, you have to rebuild the house

ripcord,

every time a phone rings or something breaks your concentration, you have to rebuild the house

Holy moley.

I guess this is why programmers generally don’t do construction.

xor,

house of cards

Croquette,

Some people are more diurnal, some are more nocturnal.

My productivity peak is between 8PM and 11PM, but with kids this is impossible.

onlinepersona, in Happy New Year Coders.

I was getting emails about pull requests and issues all night. It’s like some people just took advantage of everybody being outside of the house to code 😅

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

kameecoding,

Why do you have a link to CC in your comment?

embed_me,
@embed_me@programming.dev avatar

Pfffft why wouldn’t you?

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

kameecoding, (edited )

I don’t know, waste of characters?

it’s confusing?

nilloc,

I was about to post a tshirt with their comment on Etsy, but the NC stopped me.

nilloc,

I was about to post a tshirt with their comment on Etsy, but the NC stopped me.

Ursapharm, (edited ) in Always

Why are we like this 😩

Vile_port_aloo,
@Vile_port_aloo@lemmy.world avatar

This is how I study. :(

ilinamorato, in Need a rust version too.

You have Rust. (the knight in this panel looks very cool, wears sunglasses, and probably has a ponytail)

You’ve been told how easy it is to rescue the princess. Absolutely nothing will get in your way, they say; nobody can possibly get access to your plan, and you can even rescue multiple princesses simultaneously! (in this panel, the knight is imagining rescuing three princesses from three different castles at the same time)

You start working on your plan. It’s elegant and beautiful. You write articles on Medium to tell other knights how to rescue their princess. You tell everyone who will listen about your plan. You become a Rust zealot. You never rescue the princess. (In this panel, the knight is nowhere to be seen, and the princess looks bored in her tower. The knight is across the field, at a festival with the banner “RUSTCONF” flying overhead)

lseif,

yeah but memory safety tho

WaterWaiver,

Yeah not one mention of “I’ll never forget you Princess”

ilinamorato,

Great punch-up. I wish I’d thought of it.

wolo,

I’ll never std::mem::forget you…

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